Journal

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Reboot Logs' started by viking007, Sep 9, 2018.

  1. viking007

    viking007 New Fapstronaut

    3
    0
    1
    After having struggled to continue nofap beyond 3 weeks almost from the last five years I am now feeling it's now or never. Crossing the age of 29 and behaving like a college pass-out is not very fulfilling. I earlier had a nofap account which I deleted out of frustration.
    I have been hooked to fapping from the last 15 years and porn was introduced somewhere around the last 5 years. I have serious fatigue in my body due to this addiction.
    I have no real career and work menial jobs. I even tried paid sex after foolishly listening to a few of my co workers. A couple of visits were enough to give me a bad case of herpes infection. Not to forget gonorrea and chlamydia, but it is herpes that sticks with you and regularly shows its ugly head. After having changed jobs and working in a more traditional setting I am now willing to give a more serious, desperate shot at nofap. I intend to cross 90 days and then progress from there based on any improvements in my overall health. Nonetheless I want to continue nofap beyond that period as well.

    I am intending to make simultaneous changes in my lifestyle which are mentioned below.

    Getting rid of video games:

    I have been playing FPS/TPS open world games for more than 6 years or so. I have played many linear games as well and lately I have begun to hate open world games due to repetitive gameplay. All missions are exactly the same and some games don't even bother to change the setting. As someone previously mentioned, going to a mission takes longer than the mission itself. Games like mafia 3, wildlands, far cry 5 and the division have got me to really hate open world games. I don't have time to spend on going from point A to point B and vice versa because Ubisoft won't allow fast travel or modding. The last time I enjoyed playing games was when I tried Doom, COD WWII and GTA Online. I also liked Max Payne 3 and Wolfenstein The New Order.

    But modern AAA titles are really not my cup of tea so I have decided to quit gaming. 100 hour long boring campaigns are not what I want from gaming.

    Getting rid of porn, masturbation and escort pages on the internet:

    I really abhor porn after an orgasm. It is not guilt. It is just a realisation of time wasted on fapping. Plus the effect it has on my body. I am a skinny fat dude who seems like an 18 year old boy. Plus I have a weak physical constitution which doesn't help. Porn and masturbation developed as a coping mechanism 10 years ago and since then I have been using them as crutches.

    I am not running after developing a supposed normal sexual relationship either. I desire to completely get rid of all sexual addiction, develop a healthy lifestyle.

    I aim to quit this horrible addiction once and for all. I will regularly put down my report here on nofap. It would be motivational for me.

    Getting my lifestyle straightened out:

    I intend to eat only fresh fruit, veggies and health supplements aimed to provide nutritional content. I seriously want to quit pizza, fried food, processed food, chocolates, potato chips and cold drinks. Nutritious foods hopefully keep herpes symptoms at bay. Plus I would try to correct my sleep schedule.

    I want to limit the time spent watching movies and meaningless browsing of internet. Both these activities interfere with self care and interrupt proper sleep cycle.

    So that's about it. I hope to go through this time and would share my journey on nofap. I understand that I have already delayed my recovery by at least 3-4 years. I don't want to carry this addiction to my mid 30s.
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2018
  2. viking007

    viking007 New Fapstronaut

    3
    0
    1
    Today is day one since I last fapped. I did not feel any urges whatsoever. Eating well and drinking ample water keeps disease at bay.

    I know as I go forward I would feel urges and would have to tackle any triggers. But for now I am just going to relax. I would keep updating the posts till the day has passed so that later I could check how my day has progressed. This would also help me keep a tab on triggers and impulses.

    Trying to enjoy work and looking forward to day two!
     
  3. viking007

    viking007 New Fapstronaut

    3
    0
    1
    Today is day 2. I have successfully reached day two. However, I am having huge temptations to play video games!

    Games that are in my backlog (not many) keep reminding me that something is left incomplete. I keep telling myself that I will not let this compulsion cross over to PMO. That I will not touch new releases..

    This is my mental dialogue. I might have a go at gaming for a limited time. However, other things will stay grounded.

    Minutes ago I just had an urge to view xxx videos of naked girls on the internet. I tried to ignore the urge and it started to go away. These journals really work because I immediately got over the urge when this journal came to my mind!

    The urges are no more but I am having semi continuous erection which is weird because I have ED. I suppose this won't happen further down the road during Flatline.
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2018

Share This Page