Journal

Discussion in 'Under 20' started by BrianT1999, Aug 9, 2018 at 8:52 PM.

  1. BrianT1999

    BrianT1999 Fapstronaut

    I am a depressed, dysfunctional 18 year old. I have been masturbating since the age of 9 and started watching porn at 12. The reason I am starting this journal is the learn from previous relapses and keep myself accountable. From previous relapses, I have realized since I relapsed due to urges, not stress or being miserable, my anxiety, depression, lack of social skills, etc must be cause by my PMO addiction, not vice versa, and if it isn't, porn and masturbation must have some effect. I have started theNoFap challenge a couple weeks ago and the longest I have gone was just over 3 days. I am hoping by the end of the month I can go atleast a week, or maybe even two.
     
  2. BrianT1999

    BrianT1999 Fapstronaut

    Relapsed atleast 5 times in the last 24 hours - lost count. I wasn't completely sure this challenge was doing anything for me but I can now feel all of my progress gone. Taking a cold shower and planning to do intervals tomorrow - I am fairly fit because of genetics and youth which causes me to believe that exercise should not be too hard. I'm actually quite glad now that I started at the age I did because I now realize how young I am, of course, younger would always be better, but I can't do anything about that now.
     
  3. BrianT1999

    BrianT1999 Fapstronaut

    Currently on a day 3 - strong urges, but pulling through. Not sure if that 'sexual energy to productive energy,' thing works - testing the idea with studying for a GED. Really hoping to find employment and turn my life around.
     
  4. BrianT1999

    BrianT1999 Fapstronaut

    Back on day 1 after a 3 day streak. relapsed from lying in bed watching a semi-erotic harem anime. Avoiding that anime from now on.
     

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