Journal

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Reboot Logs' started by eu7888, Jul 25, 2018.

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  1. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    “MAKE MY GOLD SHINE AGAIN”

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Longest Streak: 69 GOLD

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Accounting about not damaging myself with PMO.

    - Monk Mode

    - Stick to the method. The method works if I follow it, but if I get overconfident and stop using the safety measures, I fail. It's like dealing with scorpions: no matter how many scorpions I captured using proper equipment, it will surely go wrong if I try to do it with my bare hands.

    - Daily reports.

    - Punishments.
    .Relapse: light punishment; and write a 250 word report explaining why I relapsed, and apologizing.
    .Relapse 2 times on the same day: medium punishment (run 5km); and write a 500 word report.
    .Relapse 2 days in a row: severe punishment (donate money to a political party that I dislike); and write a 1000 word report.
    .Extending the relapse for more than 10 minutes: increase the severity of the punishment (and every 10 minute extension will increase it more)
    .Light Edging (started on 08/24/2018): very light punishment
    .Light Edging twice or more on the same day: (started on 11/23/2018): light punishment; then medium; and so on
    .Heavy edging (started on 09/24/2018): light punishment
    .Heavy Edging twice or more on the same day: (started on 11/23/2018): medium punishment; then severe; and so on
    .Be creative about PMO (started on 09/13/2018): very light punishment​
    - What I will consider a relapse:
    Voluntary P (includes watching images and hearing sounds) or M or O.
    Edging for more than 10 minutes.
    Also, voluntary access to hot girls social media, in a sexual way.​
    - What I will consider edging
    Induce an erection
    Touch when erected
    Look when erected
    Skin retreat (unless if doing that to clean)
    Searching for sex related stuff on the internet
    Voluntary access to hot girls social media, in a romantic way​
    -Ideas for punishments: walk around the block; cold shower; wear uncomfortable clothes (shirtless in winter, and heavy jacket in summer); use a bad hairstyle (or clothes) for a day; ice (hand in a bucket of ice); take the stairs instead of the elevator; talk to strangers; donate money to a political party that I dislike; run 5km, shaving your hair or beard (if you like growing your beard); decrease the rating.

    -Rating system (started on 08/20/2018)
    Besides the streak counter, I will use a rating system, to have a less sensitive way to measure my results.
    If I relapse, my rank lowers 1 step. Then, to rank up again, I need to do a streak of days equivalent to the gap between the current rating and the higher one. Example: if I relapse and go down from Platinum to Gold, then I need to do 30 days to go to Platinum again.

    :emoji_shield:IRON 7
    :emoji_amphora:BRONZE 15
    :emoji_cd:SILVER 30

    :emoji_medal:GOLD 55

    :emoji_skull:PLATINUM 90
    :emoji_ring:DIAMOND 180
    :emoji_gem:MASTER 1Y
    :emoji_crystal_ball:GRANDMASTER 2Y
    :emoji_tophat:ELITE 5Y
    :emoji_japanese_ogre:LEGENDARY 10Y
    :emoji_bust_in_silhouette:THE ONE 20Y


    -Mind tendencies evaluation system (started on 10/08/2018)
    From day to day my mind wanders through 4 aspects directly related to sexuality. I think that being aware about it helps me dealing with urges.
    P (porn)
    M (masturbation)
    RS (real sex)
    RO (romance)​
    Also, the intensity of the engagement with those aspects varies, so I made the following scale, from 1 to 5:
    x X X X :emoji_fire:

    - Emergency procedure
    It was designed to deal with the scenarios where the sexual thoughts have grown too much over the course of hours or days. So, it's not the procedure to use in the case of acute sudden urges. No matter how long is your streak, or how high is your rating, keep using the procedure whenever things get dangerous. Remember the scorpion: no matter how many scorpions I captured using proper equipment, it will surely go wrong if I try to do it with my bare hands.
    1 leave the house and go do your work outside.
    2 if it's not possible to leave, then stop all your usual activities and start doing things related to your NoFap commitment: perfecting your journal; browsing NoFap sites; reading scientific stuff related to NoFap. Do that for HOURS, until you feel 100% safe again.

    -Compendium of Mind Tricks
    Those are the tricks that my mind tries on me, in order to convince me to relapse. I think that knowing then and being aware of then makes it easier to resist then. They are arguments to sustain the thesis "You should relapse".
    . Lower frequency argument: "OK, it's clear that you are doing better with PMO everyday, but you don't know if those good effects would be the same if you were doing PMO in low frequency, like once every 10 days. Actually, that would be the ideal frequency, because the pleasure would be grater, and the good effects of abstaining the other 10 days would be there. So, let's make a deal: instead of going full Monk Mode for 30 days, first do some tests with a lower frequency."
    . "Enjoy your creativity" argument: "I invented a new way to PMO, why don't you try it?"
    . New technology argument: "Why don't you try P on the new TV that you bought? You never watched in this resolution!"
    . New kind of woman argument: "You're having an interest on one kind of woman that you never got interested before; You never watched much P with this kind of woman; So, you should go and search for it, because it's a shame that you don't know how different is sex with that kind of woman."
    . Specific body part argument: I saw a girl sports clothes in an advertisement, and one specific part of the body got stuck in my mind, so it tried to trick me saying "why don't you go see some P with attention to that body part?"
    . Scientific eye argument: "P is an important factor in today's society. So, if you want to understand the society, you need to understand P (and to understand you need to watch)"
    . PMO as medication argument: Why don't you use P as a way to distract yourself when you are feeling sick. It would work as a painkiller, and it's so unusual to happen that the negative effects would be minor. You don't even need to MO. Actually, the side effects would be even smaller than those of an actual painkiller. PMO is like a medication, you should use it only in specific situations.
    . Challenge argument: "You are getting confident, so it's time to challenge yourself: look at some images, and then see if you can escape the escalation".
    . Cheap, epic PMO argument: “I know you wouldn't relapse with a quick dull PMO; but now you have the opportunity to spend hours watching and doing several things, trying all the new ways to PMO that you invented, and it will count as only one relapse. You can make an epic PMO for the price of one simple PMO. It’s too cheap to miss!”.



    -My goals (to be updated as milestones are achieved)
    - :emoji_white_check_mark:DONE 30 days PMO free. I think this is a good starting point, because I have been there a few times in the past, but not in the last months.
    - :emoji_x:FAILED 46 days. This will break my previous PB.
    - :emoji_white_check_mark:DONE 15 days. To go Silver again
    - :emoji_x:FAILED 46d. To break my PB and get Gold
    - :emoji_x:FAILED 15d. To go Silver again
    - :emoji_white_check_mark:DONE 7d. To go Bronze again
    - :emoji_white_check_mark: DONE 15d. To "Make myself Silver again"
    - :emoji_white_check_mark: 46d. To make it "Give me my GOLD"
    - :emoji_x: 81d. "PLATINUM TO THE PEOPLE"
    -:emoji_x:
    25d. To “MAKE MY GOLD SHINE AGAIN”

    - :emoji_dart: 15d

    Method version
    Format: 0(major change).0(changes that don't affect the global idea of the method).0(minor tweeks).
    -Upcoming: 3 changes
    -1.2.0: added punishment for extended relapse; and started considering a relapse the extended edging.
    -1.1.0 (until 11/24/18): started using versioning; more rigorous punishment for edging twice on the same day.
    -1.0.0 (From 10/03/18 to 11/22/18)(first stable version; gave me my first gold)
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2018
    Cowboy0547 and Rexy01 like this.
  2. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    2

    No damages today. Easy day. I expect the first 5 days to be easy, because they always are when I commit for long streaks.
     
  3. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    3

    Easy day. Some sexual thoughts, but easily and firmly dismissed.
    Today I thought that it will be important to remember from time to time about the punishments, or they will become an abstract memory.
    I expect an easy day tomorrow too.
     
  4. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    4

    Easy day, even though I was lonely for mos of the day, what is not usual, and is usually a moment of propensity to PMO. Some sexual thoughts along the day, but I managed to keep focused on my work, so they didn't turn into strong urges.
    I expect tomorrow to be bumpier, because my activities on Saturday leave a lot more space for my mind to wander.
     
  5. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    5

    Easy day. As I prevented yesterday, the sexual thoughts had more room to act, due to the nature os my work today. Tomorrow I think the space will be more tight. So, something I need to do is to restructure me work on weekends, so my attention is more under control.

    I will add ice as something useful for punishments. Putting the hand on an ice bucket seems good for that.

    This journal is definitely helping me keeping on track.
     
  6. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    6
    PB of the last 11 months, since I broke my all time PB streak of 45 days.

    Easy day. I'm managing to keep the possibility of a relapse miles away from my mind.

    The nature of the sexual thoughts are starting to chance. Now they are more about imagining my body in sexual situations with real people, instead of the abstract idea of sex that was symbolized by porn. I already noticed this kind of chance on other long streaks.
     
  7. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    7

    Interest in real women is growing.

    I'm still feeling strongly committed.
     
  8. Rexy01

    Rexy01 Fapstronaut

    9
    24
    3
    Goodluck !!
     
    eu7888 likes this.
  9. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    8

    Today I noticed my mind using this argumentation to convince me to relapse:
    "You're having an interest on one kind of woman that you never got interested before;
    You never watched much P with this kind of woman;
    So, you should go and search for it, because it's a shame that you don't know how different is sex with that kind of woman."​
    This kind of argumentation always hit me strongly, and I must say that it was the first time in this streak that I felt butterflies in my stomach due to, for 1 second, really considering to watch P.
    Even though, I think I'm still firm.
     
  10. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    9

    It's a good time to remember the punishments: if I violate the contract, I need to take a 10 floor staircase and write a 250 word report explaining why I did that.
    I want to keep strongly committed.
     
  11. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    10

    I think it's interesting to note some things about how my body is working now, in order to be able to compare when I reach a longer streak. So, one thing important to note is that today I had sexual thoughts all over the day. But they never reached a point where they were a real possibility of relapse.

    Those days have been really great, and I want to keep making it happen.
     
  12. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    11

    All the time I can feel the sexual drive on the background. It would be so good if I could direct this energy to the things I want, instead of having it directed to what my body wants.
     
  13. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    12

    Today my mind tried to use this trick on me:
    "OK, it's clear that you are doing better with PMO everyday, but you don't know if those good effects would be the same if you were doing PMO in low frequency, like once every 10 days. Actually, that would be the ideal frequency, because the pleasure would be grater, and the good effects of abstaining the other 10 days would be there. So, let's make a deal: instead of going full Monk Mode for 30 days, first do some tests with a lower frequency."​
    It did shake me a bit, but I answered a clear "NO!". My policy is zero tolerance to damages. I can't damage the body in order to get some sexual pleasure.
    Also, I had really annoying blue balls today, which, probably, was the result of the more space that my mind have to wander on Saturdays.
     
  14. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    13

    Last I had the first wet dream of this streak, and it was rather unusual. In the dream I had an orgasm with release, but I didn't wake up immediately, as usually happens, instead the dream followed with me trying to clean up myself, and only then I woke up, but I had no release at all in real life. It was clearly a dream orgasm but without any release in real life.

    Tomorrow I will tell the trick that my mind tried on me today.
     
  15. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    14

    Today, the sexual thoughts were much calmer than the previous day.

    So, this is the trick my mind tried on my yesterday:
    "I invented a new way to MO, why don't you try it?"​
    This one also made me relapse before, but not this time.
     
  16. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    15

    Calm day. Only one urge in the morning that grew a bit too much.

    Half the way to the first milestone. If I did the first half, then I can do the second.
     
  17. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    I like this journal, it's interesting to see how other people are doing their challenges and going with it.

    I've only started my first day myself, and I can tell from journals like these I'm making the right choice.

    Good luck on the rest of your challenge!
     
    eu7888 likes this.
  18. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    16

    Today I didn't do my work the usual way, but it also was very absorbing, so there was no room for urges to grow.
     
    Solomon435 likes this.
  19. eu7888

    eu7888 Fapstronaut

    17

    Something interesting that happened today was that the whole morning I didn't have a single sexual thought. It was the first time, in the last 17 days that it happened. The unusual thing that I did yesterday and today was working on a very absorbing project at work.
     
    charlie78 and Solomon435 like this.
  20. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Wish I had that kinda day. Good job!
     

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