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Jacques de Molay, great maestre

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by JacquesMolay, May 24, 2018.

  1. JacquesMolay

    JacquesMolay Fapstronaut

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    I am just starting with this. I know porn and masturbating changes my normal sexual cycle (so to say). I masturbate 4 or 5 times a week. Plus, I have a girlfriend and we have an active sexual life. This is whenever we can: from 2 to 6 or 8 times a month. But some months ago we started having problems with our sexual life.

    Although I don't have any problems in having an erection, I started to have some "premature" ejaculation; this was after penetration and it only happened the first time we had sex in a night, so it wasn't that bad at the beginning. The rest of the night my times got better. If I used a condom, my times improved a lot, i guess bcause less sensibility. This became a constant some months, until I started having more control on my masturbating issues, my times improved a little bit. I also related my performance (good or bad) to how comfortable I was in the intimacy: when we have more privacy I am better.

    Anyway, I am a religious, but as you can see I have a lot of problems in my spiritual life. I would feel a lot more good, spiritually speaking, if I can quit PMO. I also want to be the best lover for my partner, and maybe having a total exclusivity (in terms of mind) will work.

    I know I am talking of a lot of topics, but I believe al of this are important to see the changes NoFap will bring me.
    Finally, I won't change my sexual life with my girlfriend for a while, put starting in september I will be away from her for a year. I will be studying abroad and I don't know how I will do. For now, I will start with my 7 day NoFap.
    I don't know, just wish me luck... :)
     
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  2. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    @JacquesMolay welcome to NoFap. You are in the right place at the right time and with the right people to beat this addiction. It's really great that you're taking care of yourself like this in your 20s. I'm 50 and I started pmo when I was about 13.

    There are a lot of good resources here. There is the List of Resources found here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/new-users-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/

    There are also groups you can join with likeminded men (religious, etc.).

    Three things I found extremely valuable are:
    -getting an accountability partner; that forum is here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/accountability-partners.7/

    -starting a journal and writing in it daily. You'll find that section under Reboot Logs. I would also suggest reading others' journals and other posts.

    -interact with the guys here. You will find an amazing community of supportive, motivating guys all on the same journey as you are.

    You don't have to do this alone. We're all in this together, and together we are stronger.

    Welcome to NoFap, my friend! I'm proud of you for joining and glad you're here.

    Best of luck to you! :)

    Jay
     
    JacquesMolay likes this.
  3. JacquesMolay

    JacquesMolay Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot!
     
    P-Free likes this.
  4. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    You're welcome! Each journey is different, but I'm happy to help you on yours if I can.
     
  5. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you crate a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
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