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I've run out of emotions to feel

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by LadyDefiant, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. Jan 9, 2017 #1
    LadyDefiant

    LadyDefiant Fapstronaut

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    My husband of 8 years has admitted this past week to having a porn/masturbation addiction. And while relieved that my suspicions and fears were grounded in reality and not something I imagined, I am struggling all the same.
    I have told him that I am interested in pursuing a divorce but due to life that will not be a feasible option for quite some time. The truth is when I said it I meant it but a part of me isn't 100% sure. There are so many emotions and questions everywhere that I'm not sure what I want.
    For the time being I have pledged to support him throughout the recovery process while I also do my best to recover all that I have lost in this. Something that is proving to be so much harder than anticipated. I feel angry, sad, scared, and mostly really lonely.
    I've asked for no physical contact between us and I think that is the hardest most obvious pain I feel. Parts of me feel disgust and anger at the thought of him just holding my hand and the other part of me just wants to be comforted.
    If anyone has any words of wisdom or words of kindness they will not fall on deaf ears.
     
    LadyDefiant, Jan 9, 2017
    LadyDefiant, Jan 9, 2017
    #1
    BeautifulWarrior likes this.
  2. Jan 9, 2017 #2
    i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut

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    We are so sorry to hear about your situation. You have every right to your emotions and you are allowed to reserve the right to change your plans if you so desire. Addiction is a nasty thing that destroys people and relationships. It starts off so harmless, yet turns into a monster that corrodes away trust and intimacy. You are allowed to feel angry, numb, empty, rage, or betrayal. Right now the wounds are fresh and feel like they are never going to go away. In order to feel safe after a betrayal people withdraw their trust. To trust is to risk getting hurt again. Trust is not something that can be restored easily... and in some instances, never.

    Some people here might beg you to give him another chance. That is your prerogative. You know what's best for you and don't allow people who don't fully understand your situation push you do something you are not comfortable doing. I hope you can connect with others who are can be a source of comfort and encouragement.
     
    i_wanna_get_better1, Jan 9, 2017
    i_wanna_get_better1, Jan 9, 2017
    #2
    September and TooMuchTooSoon like this.

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