Ive run out of consequences

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by StartingOver, Jan 1, 2019.

  1. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    Hmm, interesting. I'm not so sure this is a good and healthy exercise in a relationship trying to recover. I see where you are going with this. I generally like to run with the "separation isn't an option" until it is the only option on the table. Thre are exceptions of course, but those are so few and far between, and generally reserved for couples who are cohabitating. Not married.But that is an interesting idea.
     
  2. Trigirl78

    Trigirl78 Fapstronaut

    Oh crap! I should of read your answer before blurting it out over dinner tonight and he went off I’m not sure to be sick or not and now has gone for a walk as having major anxiety over it.

    I just want him to know I have my limits. We’ve been together for 17 months and 8 months prior I was widowed after 14 years and before that I was in a unhappy relationship for 7 years.

    I love him and I know it’s so early in his journey but I only have so much patience and capacity to cope as still so delicate myself from my own journey. I didn’t bring any baggage apart from that (which I don’t share with him) and my kiddos. It’s so hard
    A positive yesterday was his first slip he openly admitted to of his own accord! Since then I’ve been trying to overcome disappointment without getting angry.
    It’s wn emotional rollercoaster
     
  3. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    You do what you feel you need to do in your relationship. There is no guidebook for this and just because one person says one thing and another person says another, doesn't mean either approach is wrong. It just means we are all on our own journey and handle things differently according to our own individual situation. While there are a handful of people on the forums that are family therapists specializing in SA/PA/betrayal trauma, they are few and far between. Most here are not therapists or credentialed, but recovering addicts (and significant others of addicts) and their opinions are just that. Opinions. Mine included. I just want to caution those that might take things others say as law because they write in an authoritative tone. It is best to take everything into consideration, glean what you can for your own situation, and throw the rest out.
     
    Numb and Trigirl78 like this.
  4. Trigirl78

    Trigirl78 Fapstronaut

    Here’s my latest consequences:


    -Eat sushi/fish/eggs or avocado in meal
    -Learn to swim by Me
    -1 hour massage to Me

    - Write/discuss your thoughts on subject chosen by Me.
    -Disclose of your addiction to person chosen by Me
    -Written apology sent to someone affected/impacted by your addiction.
    - Social media announcement to bring wider awareness to growing issue in society
     

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