I've reached the stage using porn isn't negatively effecting me much or at all. Need some advice?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Jun 14, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Let me explain a bit about my history. I am 28 and began watching porn when I was 18 when I got my first laptop. I rapidly became addicted to PMO and honestly used to PMO binge a frightening amount from the age of 18 until the age of 27. I would say on average I was PMOing about 30 times a week, hour long PMO sessions, and that went on for about a decade. Until over a year ago I started trying nofap and researching everything about the issues surrounding porn these days, from sexual dysfunctions to mental health problems.

    So since about April last year I have had a lot of streaks and a lot of relapses. But over the last 6 months my usage of porn/artificual sexual stimulation massively dropped over all. I honestly believe I went through different stages of withdrawal symptoms on this journey. Feeling like I am withdrawing from a drug, feeling extremely unwell, fatigue, agitated, anxious, depressed ext. But a few months ago I think I honestly hit once of the worst stages of withdrawal where I was in bed just feeling so ill, I started experiencing the most severe migraine headaches on and off for weeks ext.

    I used to suffer from the most severe mental health problems. I felt like I needed to check in to a mental hospital for years. But then over the last few months I have hardly felt like much has been wrong with me mentally. I have confidence, and have rarely been experiencing any mental health problems. The PIED that I used to heavily suffer from has improved significantly for the most part.

    However it's bad to say this, but with how awful I used to feel mentally and having PIED was a powerful driving force for me to 100% quit porn.

    I made another post about this, but recently I have fell in to what we call intermittent porn use. Where I go without porn/artificial sexual stimulation for a week up to a month, but then what happens is when I do use porn again I heavily binge on it for an entire day, binging having hour long PMO sessions. Then I go back to not doing it again. I'd say in this last month I have been going without PMO for about a week, then PMO binging for an entire day, then going another week without PMO and then binging again for an entire day.

    But the strange thing is even though I have been doing this, no return of mental health problems, no return of severe PIED. Still confident, still feeling happy.

    My goal and mindset is usually always must quit porn forever. But when I go in to those PMO binges I can't get enough of it for a day.

    In terms of the mental health problems I used to suffer from. My PMO usage used to be frightening, and I honestly believe I had a lot of brain changes caused from it. But now I think what has happened is my brain has almost rewired back to normal and this is why I am feeling so much better? I mean sure spending an entire day PMOing still isn't good by any means, doing this a few times a month is not good. But compared to what I used to be like on PMO it is a huge difference.

    What worries me is continued use like this will start to change the brain back? I want to always remain in the mindset I must quit porn forever.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2019
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  2. Kiz Whalifa

    Kiz Whalifa Fapstronaut

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    Stay vigilant then. Some people recover in different situations faster. You have a high enough consciousness to look at life and see the extreme optimism in this particular situation. You've left your old self far behind. Just don't forget what led you here in the first place, though. Porn isn't worthy of having a place in your life.
     
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  3. Good for you, man. It sounds like things are going very well for you. Just tread cautiously. Always remember that rewiring doesn't only go one way, you could just as easily rewire yourself back into porn, and that's the last thing you want to do. That's why most of us just kick porn out of our lives for good. Porn doesn't really do anything good, so why go through the hassle of keeping it around? Just don't fall into a trap of thinking that you're healed, and fall right back into porn! That's all too common.

    Stay strong!
     
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  4. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    What were your diagnoses please?
     
  5. AspiringMaster

    AspiringMaster Fapstronaut

    It may be relative progress from your initial state, but needing it even for a day every so often means, at least in my opinion, you haven’t kicked the addiction. I am not saying this to demoralize you, I hope you succeed fully, but I am saying it from my own personal experience. For a while I couldn’t get to my original 90 day goal and I was starting to rationalize similar behavior. Then I pushed through to 90 days and it was transformative. Really quitting is really never needing it. My more recent challenge is dealing with sexual thoughts of real women and learning to harness that and not let that push me towards massage parlors etc. But now I can truly say P has no hold over me, but it took 120 days of being 100% clean. I still have challenges to meet- want one year free of PM and O if at all it happens only with a real serious partner. Speaking from this perspective I would encourage you to kick P completely, otherwise it will find its way back into your life. There’s nothing good about for P someone on the path of self growth. Best
     
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  6. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    I agree 100%.
     
  7. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Generalised anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and depression.
     
  8. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I completely agree.

    The one thing I find strange though is how come I have no interest in it for weeks again? Another thing I want to add is a hangover from alcohol is the most thing that triggers me to relapse. I have a bit of an issue with alcohol also. I find it difficult to quit altogether.
     
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  9. AspiringMaster

    AspiringMaster Fapstronaut

    The lack of interest means there is progress but the mind is not completely free of the habit. In other words, if the circumstances are right, the frequency could increase again. You must slay the beast while you have weakened it and have it in a corner. The addictive mind is extremely devious and will find all kinds of rationalizations to not do this.

    Identifying triggers is important. PMO is at its core an unhealthy coping mechanism. Hangovers from alcohol are an example of the circumstances I mentioned earlier.

    You are doing well to identify the issues. A regular (daily) time for self reflection or meditation can help enormously.

    You can ask yourself why you drink and why to the point of feeling hungover? If you dig deep you will find that somewhere the rational mind has lost control and given in to impulse. Alcohol use is also a coping mechanism.

    Address the underlying causes and find healthy coping mechanisms- exercise, healthy social interactions, meaningful hobbies, nutritious food, adequate sleep, time outdoors in nature- and the crutches such as alcohol and PMO will no longer be necessary. Learning to deal with the ebb and flow of emotions without external crutches is part of becoming an adult human being but many of us are still here in training because we misused these crutches. Good luck! You will be successful if you persevere.
     
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  10. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Those are very difficult to overcome, so making the progress you have is fantastic. It seems that reducing the reliance on PMO has resulted in an improvement in your mental health.

    I think you need to continue working on your addiction. It hasn't gone and you want to make sure that you bury it man. :)
     
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