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It starts with Groupon !

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by performerbf, Jun 5, 2018.

  1. performerbf

    performerbf Fapstronaut

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    I don’t jump to porn all at once . I go there in very slow and small steps.

    1. I see something in public that triggers me. I am into women feet. So summer is a curse for me.

    2. I go to home. Telling my self that I can get stuff done on the computer

    3. I start doing work and try to be productive

    4. Soon I get stuck with something . I feel disappointed

    5. I open groupon app and I start looking for deals about health and spa. Of course I would find a pic for women feet. I get triggered more

    6. I still resist the idea of porn. But I don’t want to stop surfing the web. Telling my self that I would just take a look. No harm

    7. I would browse amazon and eBay and search for high heels and women shoes. Browising those pics would get me aroused more

    8. I would do a search on eBay for weird terms that bring up pics of women intentionally putting the feet pics

    9. Next I would go to Instagram and this site if full of pictures that my heart would not be able to handle

    10. At this point I cannot handle it anymore and go straight to porn

    11. I relapse and I feel shit and ashamed for 3 straight days or maybe more. I over eat. Sleep a lot. Do poor job at work and home.

    12. I go on a strike again for 1 week. And then I see something in the street . I go home and I feel I need to just visit Groupon one more time to check ... just check.

    13. I am going to break this stupid yet dangerous and destructive cycle. I promise
     
    Peter Pettigrew likes this.
  2. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    You have to stop the cycle earlier on, I know how difficult that is because I am trying to do the same
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  3. Calipornia

    Calipornia Fapstronaut

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    Bro I feel you. I do the same thing everytime. However, I now tell myself, that I know that

    A) My foot fetish is unnatural, and that God wouldn't want anything unnatural in my life.

    B) If I masturbate, it is my fault with my own choice. Offer the sufferings up to God! He knows what it's like to be tempted!
     
  4. Peter Pettigrew

    Peter Pettigrew Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man. I know this shit too well. As @g2stop said, you have to break the cycle earlier. I would usually get into bed at night and by the time I picked up my phone, I knew I would eventually end up looking at porn. I would browse Youtube and maybe do a few random searches on google. I would follow google's suggested images and almost always find something erotic. By this time, my willpower would be shot and I'd end up on a porn site. So it's really about breaking the cycle before you even get started. If you know that Groupon is your Achilles heel, don't go onto it. Or if you really want to buy something useful, only search for that. Searching for the heels is essentially the same as searching for porn. But even more important than this, you need to truly understand why you're cutting porn out. If your understanding of this is rock solid, you won't allow yourself to be drawn in by Groupon. I suspect you know this. Now you just have to have the courage to implement it. Step into the man you want to be! Bless
     
  5. This! Of course OP is done in at step 10, he needed to stop 5. If I let myself search the stuff that gets me, I'm done, too! Even if I don't click the links that time, the text in the results undermines me; if not then, a day or 2 later.

    If you search for something, you're going to find it.

    And this, too!
     
    Peter Pettigrew likes this.
  6. I have troubles with groupon, too.

    Even though I have only actually used a groupon twice in my life, I get two or three emails a day.

    I'm into women's underwear. It came up once and I clicked on it. So guess what? It comes up again. Even a week later after not opening any of their emails I would get at least one email that mentioned women's underwear in the title.

    Eventually I cave and click. Occasionally even going on a small streak. Luckily it hasn't led to PMO for me, but it is edging. And it can be embarrassing if someone sees that in my email. And I think it feeds into my computer always showing me ads for women's clothing.

    And, it's just a constant source of temptation.

    So one thought that may be helpful for you is to go on groupon and do a lot of searches for things that have nothing to do with women's feet. Things like, idk, beards and hunting and pickup-trucks. Think of other things that you are actually interested in and search for that. Groupon uses big data to feed you the things that it knows you like. If you do a lot (and I mean A LOT) of searches for other things, then maybe you can still use Groupon without it constantly suggesting the offers and links that are so triggering for you. Like @g2stop said, you've got to try to stop the cycle before it even gets started. No more Groupon foot searches for you!
     
  7. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    THanks for sharing your cycle.

    Looks to me that your relapse starts just after stage 1.

    It’s less about our final action and more about or lack of self honesty. I know this cycle too well. Been doing it for years.

    By stage 2 you are telling yourself you’re going on the computer to do “work” this is the first lie. You know deep inside that you are going on to look at porn. And Groupon ads are porn if you are looking at them for sexual reasons. Just as a tv show such as Big Bang Theory is porn if I pause it and rewind and use it for sexual stimulation... my point is for sex addicts porn/relapse is defined by our intentions not by a certain amount of actual nudity.

    I just woke up and was having the most intense sex dream...it also didn’t help that yesterday the cashier at the supermarket was really really cute, and since I’ve been sober i can actually talk to people and hold a conversation so I realize I was flirting with her; so she was also in my head when I woke up. I would call this moment I’m in right now the same feeling as your step 1. We can’t prevent this stage, it’s apart of life. Also, huge turmoil in my life right now, causing me to want to use PMO as a way to feel at ease. But what I’m about to do is way different than stage 2.

    I’m about to journal, meditate, pray, then exercise, then shower and eat breakfast. I will spend about 1.5 hours doing all of this.

    Hang in there and keep reaching out! I’m no expert, im just a really sick addict who somehow has found a little relief for a few days now.
     

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