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It really sucks when your a sophomore in high school and you never had a girlfriend

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Nov 2, 2016.

  1. I really hope this choice in nofap will help shape me into a more attractive man.
    And then i compare myself to my best friend who told me has had 3 relationships ! AND GUESS WHAT HE IS A FRESHMAN
    :( Makes me feel like a loser
    (and i know im not )
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Mattomatic

    Mattomatic Fapstronaut

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    The only person you need to compete against is yourself, not your best friend. I know how hard it can be not ever having had a girlfriend (I'm 25 and have never had a serious relationship), but know that your worth as a man is in no way dependent on the number of women you have (or have had) in your life. You get to decide what kind of man you want to be. Take pride in that.
     
  3. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    It also sucks when you are a sophomore and you have a relationship and she won't let you breath. You have to see her between classes and take to school and home after school, and you can't take time to do anything with your old friends, and she always calls and won't stop texting you. You may not have it that bad.
    No PMO will do wonders for how you feel and how you see yourself. The results will also be obvious to others, but they won't know what you have done to change, but you and they will like the new clean charged up you.
     
  4. I honestly wouldnt mind that tbh :)
     
    Hassan muktar likes this.
  5. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    I can feel your pain btdt.
    I have also learned that we don't have a good relationship with anyone until we are willing to be and do what they want. (It also takes some negotiatiating, think relationship with parents, teachers, and siblings.) Having sisters and serious conversations with females that are a little older can help understand what "she" wants.
    NoFap can help give you the confidence,motivation, and commitment to be able to provide it for her. Keep up the good work, and good luck with it. You want a good relationship with much more than your hand and screens, and you're taking great steps to get there.
     
  6. badeae1

    badeae1 Fapstronaut

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    @mrgracer48, it is really harmful that your comparing yourself to someone else. I do not know when society has deemed it necessary to have a gf or sex by a certain age. A certain person once told me that you become unhappy when you compare yourself to an ideal and that ideal seems to be that you must have a gf. Let go of that critical mindset. It is a harmful pattern that only criticizes you and will only make you unhappy. Do you feel that you cant attract women? Since it seems your goal is to become more attractive with nofap. Take a more scientific approach

    List evidence that shows you are a good person. And also note the bad. Start working on what you can change. You are you. You are not your friend. Your better. By being here and sharing is what makes you improve. Observe how you feel about yourself and shoo away the bad thoughts. They aren't the real you. It has built up over time, consider it your parents thoughts transferred into your head.

    Stay clean. Hopefully this post has helped you.
     
    Islanders190 and WarriorScarr like this.
  7. F50C137YZ

    F50C137YZ Fapstronaut

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    Dude, you're a sophomore in high school. I know that right now, it doesn't feel like it, but you are SO YOUNG!

    Don't get stuck on obsessing on getting a girlfriend. Instead, focus on what you want to do with your life. Consider that you doing so will display ambition, confidence and commitment to everyone around you.

    Seriously, I can't urge this enough. Many of the people that end up addicted to porn are people that really really wanted a relationship, but felt powerless to get one in the first place. Their focus is external to themselves and they place their value on this area of their lives entirely.

    What happens when you place your value on something that you have no experience with? You don't feel like you have value at all because the score in your head is 0.

    I want you to take a step back and think about what is really important. Figure out who you are, find your passion, HAVE FUN for god's sake!

    Stop thinking so seriously in this area of your life and flirt with girls, be playful without any intent to be with them whatsoever. Avert your attention and flirt with lots of different girls. Don't get tunnel vision.

    Allow yourself to go on a date without thinking that you have to convince her to be your girlfriend. This is wayyyyy too high pressure and it kills the date for both of you! Dates are supposed to be fun! You are not looking for wife material here, you are 16 and killing time. If you happen to click, cool.

    Just keep in mind how young you are and that being serious is silly. Like, really, it is. You're a kid.

    Imagine a 5 year old coming up to you and being like, "I've never had a girlfriend! I'm going to be alone forever!" You would think, "That's ridiculus, you're 5... go and play with your power rangers and Pokémon cards or whatever." That is about how ridiculous it is for you to be in the mindset that you are in. YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME!

    PLAY, PLAY, PLAY! You will have plenty of time to get serious when you graduate and go off and have a career. If you don't do it now, you'll regret it... trust me.

    So, moral of the story. Get serious about finding your passion in life. Do fun things with your friends and be a dumb high school kid. Get playful with girls and flirting, experiment, make an ass out of yourself and laugh about it. Look at people in "serious relationships" that are your age as ridiculous, like 5 year olds playing house and you will be much happier.
     
  8. We have been reading the play Our Town in Language Arts and it really reminds me of how i feel lonely lol
    “People are meant to go through life two by two. ’Tain’t natural to be lonesome.”
    Thornton Wilder, Our Town
     
  9. Joseph92

    Joseph92 Fapstronaut

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    Lots of great men were celibate for long periods of their life. Many religions highly value celibacy.

    Don't talk badly about yourself. Nobody is keeping score.
     
  10. GoodOl'Abe

    GoodOl'Abe Fapstronaut

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    My friend, I'm 20 years old and I've never had a girlfriend, unless you count middle school lol. I'm tellin' you man, you've got nothing to worry about. You're still so young. At your age all I had done was kissed a girl. Being single will pay off in time, even though it sucks sometimes. As for your friend, he probably doesn't know how to be single, which means he's becoming dependent upon someone else to provide for his happiness. What I've found from observing some of my friends who've been in long term relationships is a lack of self-reliance. (Don't get me wrong relationships are fantastic and there are many benefits to them as well, but like I said you're still too young to worry about stuff like that, so enjoy yourself while you can) For example, after two people have been married for a while, they begin to lose interest in each other and are unable to make each other as happy as they used too. So it once again becomes the individual's responsibility to provide for their own happiness like it was before the marriage; and this is tough if you have no experience in being single. Overall, enjoy high school man, some of the best years of your life even if it doesn't seem like it now, I promise. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and best of luck to you on your journey brother,
    Abe
     
  11. modetorres

    modetorres Fapstronaut

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    A girlfriend is nothing if you'll keep treating yourself in this way, You don't need a girlfriend, not, You need happiness and some good friends.
     
    Frühlingstimme likes this.
  12. WarriorScarr

    WarriorScarr Fapstronaut

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    My advice would be to take care of yourself first. Don't compare yourself to your friend. Like the other posters have said, you are so young man. Just have fun and flirt with the girls! You will get a girlfriend soon enough. But I would advise working on and getting to know who you are now and finding your passions in life. I wish you the best bro:)
     
    modetorres likes this.
  13. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    breh

    Bros before hoes
     
    Little Dragon and NoBrainer like this.
  14. how do i flirt?
     
  15. Guys i am no longer feeling lonely
    My best friend told me i get past in a few weeks
    He said it mostly has to do with a girl i only liked for her looks who didnt want to be my friend (aka stranger zoned me ) (honestly its a good thing too its bad to go for someone you just like for being attractive)
    Luckily i do have a friend who is a girl and is very sweet and caring :)
    and im lucky to have a best friend (guy) who will listen to all my problems and help me. he also keeps my secrets

    That girl that is my friend i have feelings for her more than that girl who friend zoned me most likely because i just love her personality though i could never chase her because she has a boyfriend ,lol i respect that she is committed to him even if he is in another country.
     
  16. WarriorScarr

    WarriorScarr Fapstronaut

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    Flirting is easy. You probably have flirted without even realizing it. When you are talking with her just make slight teasing at her if she does something you find funny. Be playful with her and not be so serious. Just enjoy the interaction!
     
  17. still dont get it?
    give examples
     
  18. WarriorScarr

    WarriorScarr Fapstronaut

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    Teasing example is something like poking fun at something she says and does. Smile while talking with her. If she has something on that you like, don't be afraid to compliment her on it. Little stuff like that
     
    Little Dragon likes this.
  19. My first girlfriend was when I was 28. Now she's my wife. Focus on yourself. Know yourself. Develop hobbies. Feel secure in yourself. Women are allergic to insecurity.
     

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