It’s been so long I can’t tell the difference

First, I also ruined my marriage because of PMO, but I only figured that one out 7 years after the separation.

To the main topic now, why not make it a lifestyle change, why focus on what not to do instead of addressing the source of PMO in the first place, the feelings of loneliness and boredom?

PMO and any other addiction are a form of escapism; these are learnt behaviours that allowed you in your past to cope with your painful emotions and feelings. Sit with these unpleasant and painful feelings and try to notice where they come from (I made a separate post a while ago about how to do this: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/a-primer-on-dealing-with-negative-emotions.235876/)

Complete and total abstinence, without the processing of painful emotions, will only lead to picking up a different addiction, say you may become a gym rat. You'll still feel horrible inside, but you'll tell yourself that you're going to the gym to feel better. Once you process a lot of emotions, looking at porn will become less interesting, since you no longer have the pain that triggers the escaping through watching porn.

Further more, we're more or less focused on achieving orgasm at the same time with ejaculation. Apparently, and I am a newbie here for sure, we've got this very wrong, in the sense that it is possible to separate orgasm from the ejaculation. I'm now reading a book called "the multi-orgasmic man", which apparently teaches how to reach orgasm without ejaculation; that seems like a nice skill to master

 

You are 46 years old. Me, too! Don't you feel childish when you MO? I always did. It's the sort of things that kids do when they're figuring all of that out, but it is not something for men -- especially not married ones!

There is no such thing as a healthy urge for MO, not for a 46-year-old. There is no such thing as a "pleasurable fap." I have been over nine months without MO for the first time in 30 years, and I have no plans to ever MO again. It's selfish, foolish, and, for me, inevitably leads back to P. Good riddance!

I know not all agree with these opinions, but it is what I have found to lead to a much more peaceful and stable day-to-day existence. I hope you will find in self-control the peace that you seek!