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Is waiting for marriage stupid?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Lexie, Jul 31, 2019.

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  1. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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    I'm just saying that I like to experience such things for the first time only with one girl..forever!
     
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  2. EXPONENTIALLY

    EXPONENTIALLY Fapstronaut

    No way. You have moral logical standards.

    For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee. -Isahia 62:5
    And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her. -Ecclesiastes 7:26
    With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life. -Proverbs 7:21-23
    He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. -Psalms 126:6
     
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  3. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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    :emoji_bouquet::emoji_bouquet::emoji_bouquet:
     
  4. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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    :emoji_thumbsup:
     
    hardowner likes this.
  5. I know you didn't ask me but most people chose not to have value. Porn, masturbation, drugs, alcohol, lying, cheating, and so many more things that are similar to that bring down someone's 'value'. But, they are chosen by so many people. The world has accepted and chosen those things, so they are choosing low value. Since the world chose this, more and more people start to and will seek it. Obviously, if you are not of the world, you are rare. But if one person does it, there has to be more.
     
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  6. rob13_

    rob13_ Fapstronaut

    That's up to you to decide. To me though, sex isn't really a big deal, it's just a pleasureable act. Waiting seems unnecessary to me, just repressing for no good reason. Still though, do what you feel is best
     
  7. Yes. It's stupid to put so much thought into fluid exchange. If you want to have sex, have it, otherwise don't. You're an adult now and nobody can tell you what to do.
     
    Lilla_My likes this.
  8. Anyone who claims sex is "just an exchange of fluids" is ignoring science. There is tons of evidence that that's not the case. A lot of emotional and physical bonding and chemical release happens during sex. It's not just an exchange of fluids. I'm not even talking about religious beliefs, or spiritually ones, I'm talking about science. It's a proven fact that sex bonds you to another person in serious ways that are painful to sever.
     
  9. So does eating with somebody. Or giving them presents. Stop putting sex on pedestal, it's only a big deal if you make it one.
     
  10. I completely disagree. It is a big deal whether you think it is or not.
     
  11. George2019

    George2019 Fapstronaut

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    Waiting for marriage is a wonderful thing.. Very difficult in this modern age. However from experience I believe you can make an Idol of abstaining. It is not everything. Healthy relationship is what everything is about. Trust that you will find the right person at the right time. I would suggest considering life a journey of relationships more than a sexual journey only
     
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  12. Bro i just wanted to say thank you so much for your comment and this specifically. This line is a very important life lesson that unfortunately probably ALL of us here have had to go through.

    @Lexie @Hello Friend
    That is why I believe suffering is not all bad. When you look back at a lot of the suffering in your life, if you analyze and examine closely, you are able to see how some of the suffering not only actually helped you become a wiser person, but also was necessary in shaping you to be who you are today. Because without the suffering you would have remained blind and ignorant of the previous chains that were weighing you down and holding you back

    Thus the lessons you LEARNED FROM THE SUFFERING ended up transforming you into a better healthier version of yourself and taking you out of the bad decisions/mindsets that you used to have before

    Because what else is going to make you change and wake up?!

    And i bet a lot of you guys found nofap due to suffering, so it can be a good thing too
     
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  13. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    I'm 90% sure I'll never date a hooker again in my life.
     
  14. Well thank you for asking, because this leads me into some of the lessons i’ve learned.


    I didn’t say that i am so valuable and wanted.

    To answer your question, I want to be along right now because i see relationships as mostly fruitless for me right now since i am in college. There is a certain timeline i believe that things should happen. Pouring my time energy soul into a relationship that probably won’t last, only to come from it heart broken, drained. Of course i know how beautiful and wonderful a relationship can be, BUT if there’s one thing i learned from this nofap journey, is that you cannot be DEPENDENT on someone else to complete you. Many people think that if they can just have a boyfriend or girlfriend, they will be happy and fulfilled. But I’ve learned that the healthiest relationships are formed when both the man and the woman are already healthy, happy, and come together to share a wonderful relationship where one person isn’t relying on another to fill the emptiness. You see, i’ve been working a long time now on self improvement and becoming that guy who doesn’t require someone or something else to complete his world. I want to already feel complete and whole and only then step foot into a relationship. I’m not quite at that level yet

    I believe there’s a time for everything. Right now is the time i need to be focusing on building my career, not trying to date women.

    Btw at one point i was caught up in online dating and it’s just complete disaster and showed me how useless it is to be chasing women. The right woman will come when the time is right. Pursuing your goals first i believe will enable you to attract a woman later down the line. There will always be beautiful women when you come back.

    And finally, i am waiting for a unicorn, i have not yet found that high quality girl who resonates with me, who would be my match, my twin flame. I won’t settle for less

    Most people probably won’t resonate with this mindset, and i don’t think relationships are bad; rather i think they are kind of pointless for me right now at this time. Both singleness and relationships have their advantages and disadvantages. i see it as an advantage to be single now rather than be tied down by a relationship

    @DaveyCrockett had a post that i really resonate with on why having a girlfriend seems kinda pointless. One of the main points he brought up is that so many people date these days for the primary purpose of sex. That’s why they have a bf or gf: mostly to have sex. Which is fine, but i personally do not value that kind of relationship, and i do not want nor care that much about sex. In fact

    I’m sure @Angus McGyver has some excellent points in response to why one would want to be alone, as he can probably convey what i would like to say much better than i can(if you wanna chime in bud:))
     
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  15. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Hey there,

    I didn't read the replies to this thread. Just giving my two cents, risking that I repeat what the others have said a dozen times before me.
    When I joined NoFap years ago, it made me question my general attitude to sexuality, which was more 'mainstream' before, I guess: basically wanting a monogamous relationship with the right woman, but still enjoying the idea of casual sex. At some point I realized that casual sex is not for me (anymore), as it would be destructive. I also asked myself about the hypothetical prospect of dating a woman who doesn't want sex before marriage, and I came to the conclusion that I would definitely accept it! It would certainly be a bit of a challenge, but still I would love to go for it.
    And I am not even a real Christian or religious person.
    Now I am in a relationship with sexual intercourse, and it is fine, too. Go for what you feel is right for you and in tune with your values and morals. Do not sleep with a guy because you are afraid he will leave you otherwise. If he does, could he even have been the right one? On the other hand, potential dangers of waiting for marriage could be: 1. You do not actually wait because it feels right for you that way, but because you're afraid of intimacy. In that case, waiting will not help, but potentially make it worse. 2. You marry someone too quick because you want to have sex with him.
    Ask yourself these questions, especially the first one, and you're fine I guess!
     
  16. Idk why you are trying to start an argument. I said i won’t settle for being average. That’s not the same as saying i’m so valuable and wanted

    This was awhile ago, before i really did nofap and before i had learned what i know now. I learned from the dating app experience

    People change over time. Peoples opinions and beliefs change over time, and that is largely the result of new experiences

    About the “don’t care about and don’t need sex” part, that is how i feel currently. i used to feel the opposite

    Goodbye
     
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  17. I am a man and waiting for marriage too, it's hard sometimes but be patient and we will be rewarded for it in this world with a strong and happy relation and in the other with something that we cant imagine if God wills it
    Stay strong sister :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2019
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  18. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    Being a virgin doesn't guarantee one has a healthy heart and a clean mind. Take for example girls that auction away their virginity to high bidding middle aged men. To me, they are just prostitutes. Or people that saves themselves for marriage, but happily engage in filth online.

    And what constitutes virginity for a woman? Is she defouled if she has used a tampon or a sex toy? Is a man, that uses sex dolls but refuses to go with real women, the picture of high virgin standards? Is a trafficked boy, forced to sell his body, damaged goods because someone chose to abuse him?

    Virginity before marriage should be a personal choice and not a measurement of our value as humans.

    There is nothing wrong with being in love and explore our sexuality in a safe and responsible manner. There is also nothing wrong with waiting for marriage! It just doesn't make you a better person either way.

    I've met filthy and perverse virgins and non-virgins with spotless morals that are faithful to their partners. Virginity doesn't define anyone; to think so would be to try to take a cheap shortcut in the complex landscape that is human nature.

    No well rounded person will judge you either way, and those that do are simply not worth the attention.
     
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  19. Lexie

    Lexie Fapstronaut

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    You're absolutely right. I totally agree
     
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  20. Beingcowboyishard

    Beingcowboyishard Fapstronaut

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    This is one of the reasons people don’t read their bible

    Virginity is very sacred and lemme tell you this people who live promiscuously will be unfaithful in marriage
     
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