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Is this going to keep happening?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Rachie, Dec 19, 2017.

  1. Dec 19, 2017 #1
    Rachie

    Rachie Fapstronaut

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    So WS has tried to stop P a million times in the past, but this is the first time it's actually working. This is the longest he's ever gone without it. It's great and all, but now I keep getting woken up.

    Since we've been together, every time he's tried to stop P for an extended period of time, he starts touching me in his sleep. He is narcoleptic and I've often wondered if that plays a role in this.

    It always starts with him just touching my body, and as the days go on, it becomes more insistent. (I'm trying not to be triggery) He's woken us both up by trying to have sex with me.

    Has this happened to anybody else? Is it just him? What can we do about it? I can give more info, if needed.
     
    Rachie, Dec 19, 2017
    Rachie, Dec 19, 2017
    #1
    SpouseofPA likes this.
  2. Dec 19, 2017 #2
    WantsToBelieve

    WantsToBelieve Fapstronaut

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    My fiance did this before I even knew about the PA. With mine it's definitely a subconscious desire to be close.
    I still have trouble figuring out whether or not it's just a desire to O, or really him wanting to be intimate, so I understand why it's a concern for you.

    So... how insistent has it become? If it's more than just touching (penetration or groping harder than normal) I would set a boundary about it if it makes you uncomfortable.
    Mine lied several times when I asked if he was still asleep when he was doing it to me. He was fully awake and alert, and just super horny.

    While I'm not uncomfortable with it myself, I know some women who have felt almost assaulted, if not raped, by the actions of their partner with this. This includes my sister who is a very heavy sleeper and woke up when her husband was right in the middle of "the act". With her. Asleep.

    Also, if it does make you uncomfortable, I would put an end to it as soon as you wake up from it. If he really is asleep, wake him up and tell him what he'd been doing. If he's awake, have an honest conversation about why it bothers you and ask him to please stop. If it continues, I'd honestly have him sleep on the couch.
     
    WantsToBelieve, Dec 19, 2017
    WantsToBelieve, Dec 19, 2017
    #2
    starrieeyes likes this.

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