Is This Going to Be a Lifelong Struggle?

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by moominfindinglight, Jun 30, 2018.

  1. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

    So set your bar for 30 days, dust yourself off, and get back in the saddle and go again. Each time you do this, the frequency should be longer, the magnitude should be shorter, and the duration should be shorter. Each subsequent time, the PMO will get weaker and weaker. You've got this. Just take it one day at a time. Lift it up to Allah that gives you strength.
    sparkz likes this.
  2. moominfindinglight

    moominfindinglight Fapstronaut

    @GhostWriter Thanks a lot, I really hope that the longer I go the weaker this addiction will get. May Allah (God) help us all in this :)
  3. Jblue

    Jblue Fapstronaut

    I’m looking for people with similar experiences as mine. I started PMO at age 9 after someone close to me passed away and I was shown nude images and porn by my neighbor. For me it was internal and external factors that contributed my becoming addicted at an early age.

    Thanks so much for sharing ! You’re not alone ! There’s a ton of people like you and me so don’t think you’re going through this alone, you are not alone.

    I’m now PMO free for 6 months. I relapse to MO every month but I take this as normal since I’m not in a relationship. My self-esteem and confidence are very low due to having given PMO priority during my developing years but even though we who have been addicted or inclined towards this bad habit for so long have a chance for healing and curing even though it will not be as easy as people who have started later on in life. We still have hope !

    I’ve attended SAA meetings and met one person just like me he came up to me and the end and told me how inspiring my talk was to him and that he was just like me having started at age 11. I was blown away and couldn’t say much but my best advice to overcoming this addiction is to get LIFE EXPERIENCE yes that’s the solution !

    Best of luck to you, again, I’m glad you shared your story and you have inspired me to keep participating in this forum and share mine as well

    Best wishes,
    moominfindinglight and goodnice like this.
  4. moominfindinglight

    moominfindinglight Fapstronaut

    Jblue thanks a lot for your post and support. I’m glad reading this journal wasn’t an entire waste of your time :)
    I’m sorry to hear about how this addiction started with you, also at such a young age! I suppose it’s always multiple factors, internal and external which keep this cursed cycle going, so it is important IMO to know which emotional, environmental etc situations worsen it and therefore what to do to react to them.

    It’s great that you’re 6months PMO free, keep it up! Hope I’ll reach that as well, although I almost looked at P today :( so I ended up with MO...

    And I agree with you that going out there and facing life is the best way to combat this, rather than counting the days without doing anything, hoping that you’ll eventually regain everything you lost to this addiction without actually struggling to rebuild yourself...

    Thank you again for your support, I wish you the best of luck!

    Reset MO 21.08.18

    [0/16] Days: 21.08 - 05.09.18

    goodnice and Retro Girl like this.
  5. moominfindinglight

    moominfindinglight Fapstronaut

    Lost in vicious gloom
    The shadow is in control
    A sanctum in sin

    Gray days, bitter nights
    Staring into the abyss
    A hushed cry for help

    Now engulfed by dark
    Where I search for catharsis

    A warm light flickers

    15., 21.08. MO
    23.08 PMO

    [0/16] Days: 23.08 - 08.09.18
  6. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

    Hang in there moom, try to analyze your past relapses and see what triggered them. From there make rules on how you will avoid them next time
  7. moominfindinglight

    moominfindinglight Fapstronaut

    Thank you, I will :)
  8. moominfindinglight

    moominfindinglight Fapstronaut

    Hello there...
    • New year, old journal. First relapse in the new year, alarm bell. Going back to journaling.
    • Longest streak (09.10. - 19.11.18, 40-something days)
    • Had 6 resets since, good thing that they were milder in duration, magnitude and frequency.
    • Unfortunately things started escalating (predictably) until a full blown-PMO relapse today.
    • Starting from scratch with 2 days as a goal, doubling the bar each time I get there.

    Disappointed as I am with those last resets, the only silver lining is that they've become less frequent and less enjoyable, generally speaking.
    The scenario has become kinda simple and predictable; time spent in idleness is nearly always the doorway to the cycle of deterioration that ends up in a reset. Trying to keep up with responsibilities keeps that door shut.

    0/2 days
    Wishing everybody on here strength and good luck :)
    Retro Girl likes this.
  9. moominfindinglight

    moominfindinglight Fapstronaut

    Today I finally cleaned my room after 2 days of putting it off. Fresh feeling. Brain fog kicking in like mad.
    Day 1/2 Complete
  10. moominfindinglight

    moominfindinglight Fapstronaut

    Day 2/2 complete yesterday.
    Day 1/4 today
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. moominfindinglight

    moominfindinglight Fapstronaut

    Today, I
    Post-relapse despair starting to lift, finding the way back into the battlefield.
    Day 2/4 Complete!
  12. I'mJustAChoice

    I'mJustAChoice Fapstronaut

    Well, if you get bored, you need more hobbies, but obviously for as long as you have libido you're gonna want sexual intercourse, and an easy and satisfying way of releasing that urge is by masturbating to porn. Instead, you should use that urge to look for a partner, if you don't want to do so, then masturbate now and then (but not to porn), and if you can't control yourself, well, that's what you should be working on, building self control and determination.
    Sexual realese is a need that you eventually have to address, we are wired to do so...
  13. Prov2416

    Prov2416 Fapstronaut

    Remember why you are doing this.

    It is NOT about perfection. Each time/moment you say NO to your body's urges you are ALSO saying YES to God.

    Think of how much it pleases God to see you sacrifice your own will for his :)

    Don't focus on the relapses/resets. Count the days you are glorifying him. As a person of faith / belief, there is no greater compliment than that of who we worship.

    While you are not a Christian, there are words to a popular song that I think are apt for you right now:

    "All of my good days, outweigh my bad days; and I wont complain"

    Stay encouraged. And keep serving the one who gave you life.
    moominfindinglight likes this.
  14. Hey, i just read you journal and i want to say good job fighting the good fight. There's a lot to be said about just fighting even if we wind up relapsing. You are already doing it a lot less and that's something in itself not to mention that you can't succeed if you stop trying...Oh and congrats on 7 days, may it turn to 30 and beyond. Good luck :)
    moominfindinglight likes this.

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