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Is this a relapse? Buying sexual apparel?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Seb Gray, Jul 16, 2017.

  1. Jul 16, 2017 #1
    Seb Gray

    Seb Gray New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone hope all is well. I was hoping to get some clarity on a few things.

    Yesterday I was buying erotic clothing for my SO - and I couldn't help thinking whether or not it was pornographic. There was no nudity ofcourse - however I could feel my brain being filled with dopamine (as it took me around an hour of browsing to really decide what to get her, similar to porn in that I kept on browsing for an extended period of time). I didn't touch my self and have no intention on tooting my hoot again - but I was wondering if this kind of stuff counts as relapsing? Obviously it is significantly less damaging then PMO but do the psychological still push me back in my quest to rewire my brain?

    Also when I was getting turned on by what I was seeing, I was only thinking about my SO in them. So it wasn't like I was trying to get horny or anything, it just happened. It was subtle but somewhat similar to porn.

    Should I or should I not reset my badge - i.e. does this count as a relapse? I have not noticed any physiological side effects but perhaps it was bad for my brain?

    Maybe I am overreacting but would love your insights on this.

    Thanks

    *edit as made spelling mistake
     
    Seb Gray, Jul 16, 2017
    Seb Gray, Jul 16, 2017
    #1
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  2. Jul 16, 2017 #2
    Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

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    I think it is so sweet and I can only hope my SO can get turned on by me in lingerie again as opposed to being disgusted with me as he compares me to porn stills. You are a gem!
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2017
    Hopefulgirl, Jul 16, 2017
    Hopefulgirl, Jul 16, 2017
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  3. Jul 16, 2017 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    yep, you're golden :) carry on.
     
    Deleted Account, Jul 16, 2017
    Deleted Account, Jul 16, 2017
    #3
    Hopefulgirl likes this.
  4. Jul 17, 2017 #4
    samnf1990

    samnf1990 Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like you were in a shop, browsing the actual items of clothing. If instead you had spent an hour on a lingerie online store with photos of models it might be a different story. Especially if you were buying the gift as an excuse to browse such sites.

    Is your SO happy with the gift or does she see it as you pressuring her to be something more or something different? I think that would be your only potential problem here. (Or if the whole thing was a trigger to you PMOing).

    On the other hand you are communicating what you would like from her (on occasions at least) openly and honestly, rather than seeking such things out artificially in P. Well done. I hope you both enjoy putting it to good use.
     
    samnf1990, Jul 17, 2017
    samnf1990, Jul 17, 2017
    #4
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  5. Jul 17, 2017 #5
    StraightEdge3616

    StraightEdge3616 Fapstronaut

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    Samnf1990 hit the nail on the head and answered your question perfectly. I agree with him.
     
    StraightEdge3616, Jul 17, 2017
    StraightEdge3616, Jul 17, 2017
    #5
  6. Jul 17, 2017 #6
    FlatlineFred

    FlatlineFred Fapstronaut

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    If it's to "dress up like they do in porn" I am not so sure.

    Do the clothes recreate very common porn scenes?
     
    FlatlineFred, Jul 17, 2017
    FlatlineFred, Jul 17, 2017
    #6

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