Is sex with a partner considered a relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Jun 17, 2018.

  1. First I would like to say that I have read some posts of guys who relapsed after years without PMO and that scares me a lot.
    At the moment I am not in a relationship, but I was wandering if I ever get a partner and have sex with them, would that be a relapse?
     
  2. Tryinghardtoquit

    Tryinghardtoquit Fapstronaut

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    I guess it depends on what you say is sucess. Some folk say having sex with an intimate partner is ok. My preference at the moment is to reboot free of all orgasms for the immediate future. Some people just try P-mode with partners so they can remain intimate.

    Goodluck my friend
     
  3. Brahmakumar101

    Brahmakumar101 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, that's something to be scared of. Even in relapse section, you can see bros relapsing after 100+/ 200+/ sometimes 300+ days streaks. The point is: the fight against PMO is a lifetime fight.

    Though, the longer you do, the easier it becomes to manage urges. They no longer bother me now after 4 months rebooting span. I have taught my brain a simple thing: PMO isn't even in the option of things that I can allow myself to do. Don't you remember a time in your childhood when you were completely clean and hadn't stepped into this sinful world? That's the state we are trying to return to. And how do you do that? By reading about addiction and realizing what it does to you. By replacing sexual thoughts with meaningful habits and good thoughts so they can no longer control you. By having some goals that push you to get better each day. And by having faith in Him that sent us here for a bigger purpose than to mere sleep, eat and procreate and do something about this world that faces countless problems with almost 8 billions of us on this planet.

    Depends on your goals as @Tryinghardtoquit said. But make sure you love the person honestly and vice-versa. Though the benefits come faster in HardMode for sure.

    Do hardmode for at least 90 days and then think about the future course.

    I wish you all the best. You can check out this post of mine and get some rebooting books that would raise your awareness and make your battle a little easier.

    Fight for this beautiful life :)
     
  4. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    I think you have the wrong out look on all this. "Relapsing" 1 time or something after months or years doesn't send you back to day 1, thats just not how it works.

    Its like someone who's extremely over weight spending a year eating right and working out consistently then having a week where he just lays around and eats fast food. Its not like he's gonna suddenly regain the 200 pounds he lost. He'll regain some and lose progress but he's nowhere near square 1.

    The only real thing to worry about is not immediately getting back up when you fall because then you will end up back to day 1. But even then its not that black and white.

    Even if you have a hard ass relapse where u binge on porn, depending on how long you've been clean you're still not on day 1. Putting focus on the counter is a hindrance.

    Its important to not use this logic a reason to relapse and be like "Well, its okay if I just do it this 1 time because I won't be back on day 1". Thinking that way will make u fall deeper into the hole, but don't treat 1 screw up as "Back to day 1" because thats just not true. Plus if u have the "Im back to day 1" mentality you'll just fall even further because you start to think like "Fuck it, who cares? Im only on day 3 now".

    Either consciously or subconsciously you care less when there's less to lose. Its a bigger deal to "lose all progress" when you're like 70 days in then it is when you're only a few days in. Ive seen it happen to so many people, myself included.

    Using the logic of "Relapse=Day 1 again" just isn't true. You make progress with each day you fight through so don't focus on the counter much, its not really accurate to actual progress. If you stayed clean for a year then relapsed would you really be back to where you were at a year ago? No, it just doesn't work like that.

    But again, its EXTREMELY important not to use this logic as an excuse to relapse and be like "Oh ill just do it 1 time, no big deal". Its about learning from the mistake and just pushing on forward rather than telling yourself you're back to day 1 when you're obviously not. Just get up and keep fighting!
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2018
  5. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

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    wow bro we think almost identical. I would have given similar advice. Nice!! I like your post
     
  6. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

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    Dam we need more soldiers like you. I really relate to your mindset and winning attitude!!
     
    JJackson likes this.
  7. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Thank you man, really means a lot.
     
    goodnice likes this.

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