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Is porn and kink all bad?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Jul 16, 2018.

  1. One word...Amen. This whole thread is getting ridiculous. It just goes on forever in an endless loop and it never gets anywhere and phoenix, i mean Dhalia, i mean phoenix (i cant keep track) is getting way too into this. I'm out.

    (By the way, straight up posts like this are why we need you)
     
  2. Pastor Preston

    Pastor Preston Fapstronaut

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    I know what you mean. Porn addiction made me lonely, and still does. I am 17 days without a relapse, thank God. But, the reason that I use this site is that I am too proud to tell my religious friends and family.

    Frankly, porn addiction still makes me lonely at this point. What I truly crave, I think, is for the religious community to accept me for who I am as it relates to my problems; this applies to areas other than porn addiction. My point is this: God accepts me.

    Still, why do people judge? Why do I feel disgusting for what I was doing? Why am I left with a moral injury? As you said, porn addiction is way worse than drugs. Thanks for your thought provoking reply! Good luck!
     
    Bubbles likes this.
  3. Bubbles

    Bubbles Fapstronaut

    Tell your religious freinds and the truth will come out, if they reject you they were neither your friends or religious.

    You need real friends and that does involve a bit if risk. Just IMHO.
     
  4. This is sort of an aside, but I have to say. I think one of Satan's most used tools is to make us feel alone and therefore isolate ourselves. And sometimes this is done externally (i.e. people judging you) but I think more often than not, it's actually an internal problem. The problem with a lot of religious people, I think, is that we all feel like we are the only person in our community who could possibly be struggling with sin. We all put on a mask of holiness at church and it makes people feel alone in their struggle. Casting Crowns aptly calls it the "stained glass masquerade." But it's all a lie! I bet there are tons of other people under your church steeple who are struggling with porn right now. And maybe they will judge you, but maybe they wont? Maybe they will understand and your vulnerability and openness will allow them to be vulnerable and open. I've found it often just takes one person standing up and saying "hey, guess what, I'm a sinner and I struggle with it every day, and here are all the ways I struggle" for several other people to do the same. It's a domino effect. People see someone else being real and it makes them want to be real, too, because its refreshing to feel like they can finally take off their mask now that they know they aren't the only one in the room who isn't perfect.

    Anyway, that's pretty off topic, but I just wanted to say, I dont onow your situation and maybe I'm totally wrong and people are just judgemental jerks where you're at (definitely possible... unfortunately there are a lot of those in the religious community). BUT it's possible that maybe that judgment is all in your head, and you're preemptively assuming people will judge you because of the perfection mask they're wearing. Perhaps they would surprise you. Maybe if you take off your mask, they'll feel comfortable taking off theirs too.
     
  5. Phoenix234

    Phoenix234 Fapstronaut

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    I already apologized. Let’s use this for now first, are you able to see? I see my mistake, which is not continuing to deliver humbly and patiently regardless of the reply being grounded factual hitting the point or not.

    Please drop that idea that dhalia and me are one! She has similar thinking and approach like i do. But realize that exists! There are valid points we both have that are not seen.
    I am not dhalia!

    Toward insults. Yes I fired back. I am never insulting on the first place but know that I provoke. That’s my life and how I am. Provoke for a good cause. It asks for a challenge. Not a moralin turmoil.
    It did here very opinionated struggling for survival of wrong views. I did not reply properly. I should have handled patiently explaining.

    I just react too fast to ridiculing that’s not based on nothing. Or scientific quotation and hiding oneself behind science on the wrong places and getting things put in your mouth that I never meant.
    Quite a abuse. But ok yes. I should be patient and larger. So sorry for this.

    Now I hope we can settle this and all move on
     
  6. No, you fired. Not fired back. Nobody insulted you. But okay....
     
  7. You totally did start insulting and provoked people first when you thought they weren't understanding you so you were annoyed and frustrated.

    But in all honesty, mate you're on a site with folks that are trying their hardest to recover from the horrors of porn addiction, so of course others will have their firm stance against what you were saying. You like everyone else are entitled to your own opinion but be prepared to be debated or questioned when it's something as sensitive as this, it comes with the territory as they say.

    So please don't make yourself out to be the victim, it was a simple debate until you spiraled out of control and went around the bend. I might have been a little harsh but that's only because you were being condescending and honestly rude as it progressed.
     
  8. Phoenix234

    Phoenix234 Fapstronaut

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    Well I guess you need to read better then. I never just fire.
     
  9. Phoenix234

    Phoenix234 Fapstronaut

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    Sarah I appreciate your note. And I know I could have handled better. I understand that people react with their norms and believes that are super important for them in their struggle. I am in that same boat. I will try to be patient and do better. So let’s keep it here and I wish you the best. I am sure our paths or posts might cross again.
     
  10. TheManDude

    TheManDude Fapstronaut

    Well watching porn is not natural so begining from that point how healty can it truly be?
    Just think about it, before the internet how many naked women would a normal guy see in his life? Even more, how many times could an average person see an explicit sexual activity, not taking in account the incredibly explicit things that you can see in P...

    To me P it's incredibly harmful because it twist the sense of sexuality of the person who watches and the most problematic to me is when that happens without the person noticing it.
     
    u376 and Deleted Account like this.
  11. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    At last
     
  12. Pastor Preston

    Pastor Preston Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, you are right in many ways.

    You have a lot of insight...impressive. I guess I should have stated more of my story. I'm a graduate student preparing for ministry in seminary. Personally, I am too proud to admit my problem to most. I am held to a high standard. My career would probably be jeopardized if people knew I had this problem. I told my college pastor, and he even knows I use this site. The problem is that I can't be open about it where I am. It is one of those churches, and I'm starting a job there. But hey, you could still be right about taking off my mask for certain people. I have been subtle about it, and have told people that I lost focus of Jesus during seminary. That seems to work. I mean, I'm single and a virgin. I'm sure that some of the members who didn't just fall off know that I've played with myself. The good news is that I am almost three weeks without porn and masturbation! That, my good brother, is a miracle! Thank God, and God bless you!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. IggyIshness

    IggyIshness Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, you are simply a moron.
     
  14. IggyIshness

    IggyIshness Fapstronaut

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    No, maturbation doesnt particularly effect the body. Porn is much worse than masturbating, porn W masturbation is the worst. Rather just M without.
     
  15. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Porn is worse than masturbation.....I agree on that
    But masturbation does affect our body....
    I don't want to explain it.....as it will further move this thread.....
    I will keep it short
    With all my experience (as I am 8 years older than you)
    Masturbation affects us
    So I would advise you to avoid it as much as you can
    But yes porn is worse.......and pmo the worst
     
    Jason_Tesla_19 likes this.
  16. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    yes but people need to understand that wet dreams aren'tt the same as masturbation.
     
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  17. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    Dhalia, I've seen you in various threads, and read various of your posts, and you seem to be just a troll. Now, on the off-chance you are actually just some seriously misguided young woman, I want to address this statement. It sounds like you're simply ignoring morality and tradition as stupid stuff that is due to die. While there may be some silly traditions, I've simply learned from experience that much of morality and tradition actually has a beneficial purpose. Our ancestors learned shit the hard way, and tried to pass down what they learned to us, so we wouldn't have to learn the hard way by repeating their mistakes. If tradition had no purpose, I think it would have already died off by now, but humanity is hundreds of thousands of years old, and civilization is thousands of years old. Either you're trolling, or you're simply hard-headed and can't see the purpose of morality.

    For example: traditional sexual morality (no premarital sex, one spouse, no adultery, etc.). Not only does it help keep you from getting your heart hurt, it helps reduce unwanted pregnancies and helps children be born to stable family units (though, modern contraception methods do reduce risk of unwanted pregnancies, but not perfectly; the millions of babies killed via abortion is a horrible tragedy, though), and help reduce the spread of STI's. Condoms help, but we still have epidemics; they had traditional morality even before super serious infections like syphilis (the HIV of the middle ages) and HIV, when they mostly just had to worry about infections that caused sterility. We now have things like incurable strains of gonorrhea starting to spread into the population. Another STI, not particular dangerous, but annoying and incurable, is herpes - statistically, 90% of adults will be infected by age 50. Seriously, WTF. Among people my age, the odds are probably already higher than coin toss, and guess what? Condoms don't protect against it! Less serious and common, about a quarter of adults have HPV (warts), though there are vaccines nowadays. They weren't vaccinating boys when I was a teenager, and I'm too old now to get it, as they won't vaccinate anyone over 26. They say nearly everyone who isn't vaccinated will get it. That fucking sucks. You know, if I want to get married and have children someday, I may well have to accept some woman with a disease and contract it myself, or get a fucking Darwin Award, just because everyone else can't keep their junk in their fucking pants.

    Saying morality will die in 30 years suggests either extreme denial or extreme naivete.
     
  18. I believe there will be a much more developed moral THATS much more based on facts and a liberation of sex and it’s use. Because I am convinced it’s not by far yet. I say this because I also experienced how beautiful sex can be how well the sex energy can be used to lift you to happiness and great heights. This happiness is not built on a moral or a certain way of what you may or may not. I experienced how it can be using the sex energy in love and respect enormous beauty happiness and freedom can open up.

    Why can I experience this and live it for days and feel at the same time that’s not how life is how people understand live wgat the status quo is. Not even mysekf can make it the status quo even when I experienced it. But I strive for it. It’s a exciting journey. I have lots to learn. Morals tradition is not what helped me. Not the way they exist today. Judgements of people rooted strong in such morals neither. Rather a chilling hindrance on the path.
    As a whole we are far away from enormous freedom enormous happiness and enormous beauty. That’s the evolution I believe is happening so this can reveal porn plays a role in it and we as a whole aren’t but have to get ready for it.
     
  19. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    Believe it or not there are people who are moral and nice person who do casual sex and adultery(having sex before marriage).. Yes its a thing.

    Having open mind on sexual realtionship doesn't mean you are evil and you need to reevaluate you're life. Thats not what nofap is about its about porn adiction and stopping to masturbate to become a better person
     

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