Is PMO the only reason I've been single all my life?

I understand your doubt, I've had it too. I don't think PMO is fully to blame, but it has a big role to play in it. To answer your last question, no. Look at how many people in a relationship are on this site. Look how many types of people and personalities are on this forum. From the shy nerd to the oversexed succesfull businessman. Girls, adults, teens, everyone can have a porn addiction!

I've been looking for a girlfriend since I was 16 years old, so thats 7 years ago. The times that I really felt love for somebody and finally found the courage to approach her can be counted on 1 hand. And every time I was rejected. People would tell me that they dont understand why I cant find a gf because I am such a succesfull and kind guy, etc. But yet here I am. I see that you are several years older, so it must feel much harder and more desparate for you.

I can say only one thing, and that is to not focus on your past, on what could have happened if this or that... It will eat you alive. Also dont give in to the expectations that people have. Your past 30, and still alive, so apparently life doesnt end at 30. You have sooo many years ahead, dont give up, maybe you meet somebody that is a few years younger than you, and she falls for your maturity.

Get control over the porn addiction and start working on yourself. Dont get scared of the years that have passed, they were not wasted. Maybe one day they will serve as a reminder to cherish the valuable relationship you have with a beautiful wife and 1, 2, 3 (4, 5) kids

 

Hi lonercub,

I don't think PMO is the sole reason why some people are single.
Me and my brother-inlaw had a handful of relationships, and we were both porn addicts. Despite being able to establish romantic relationships, something had always seemed off, we both agreed that we both had issues developing emotional intimacy with our partners. Personally, other than my first girlfriend (pre-porn addict) and my current girlfriend (recovering addict) , there was no emotional connection in the past two other romantic relationship I have been in (full on-porn addict). In my brother-inlaw past relationships, he had no desire for sexual intimacy with his partners, he would rather watch porn instead.

We would be the example of porn addict being sexually active and being in romantic relationship, however not-intimate it may have been.

 

I don't have a lot to add that hasn't been already said on this, but as others have mentioned, there are many people in relationships that also suffer from a PMO-addiction, so I don't think it's the singular thing 'holding you back', so to speak. However, there IS a danger in the mentality that if you weren't single, you wouldn't suffer from this. Often, single people think that having a partner is the be-all end-all and that they would naturally drop their addiction because they have someone to focus their attention on. I'm not implying that you feel this way, just want to warn you against that kind of thinking.

 

Hey man.
I will answer you honestly but in a different matter as I experienced in my previous "Trying s".SO:
I'm a 29 y old guy , and I'm kind of handsome guy, tall and attractive as all people telling me all the time.
And I'm like you I'v n't been with a girlfriend since I've been born till now . so bad.
I tried to quit porn several time, and I didn't succeed to.
But i have stooped to orgasm about 13 days long but with the access to the porn "I know it's to hard to not to get orgasm during porn" but i did that and I noticed a lot of changes at that very small time .
1-I started to notice a lot of energy at my work as a lawyer.
2-people started to respect me more and more.
3-my eyes got wider and whiter, it got a lot of brightness.
4-I talked to persons faster and my mind get clearer and clearer.
5-my depression started to diminished.
6-a lot more, but what you want to hear is this.
*** I started to find that I'm a celeb actor walking in the street.
I don't know if you can imagine that but people in the street keep looking to me every where while I'm the same person.
And of course girls start to make a deeeeeeeeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeeeeep EYE CONTACT with me.
I felt so happy.
I was before bagging to every girl - even every female dog - at the street or the work to just look at me , I started to feel I'm James bond for them, and I said "girls - hey - I'm the same" what the hell ... ?
That's It man We are singles because of 2 two things or results of faping: I think.
*First "The self side": We get very shamed because we fell some wrong with what we doing, besides the brain fog and the weakness that is appearing on our faces and eyes so we always get something missing.and more....
*Second "The her side": Girls are selective, so they always try to get the strong man "like we do -the pretty girl-", so when you cross by a girl she fells with your power, energy, confidence, activeness, eyes health, may be smell testosterone and get into it,and a lot more , they fell you are the man because you fell so about yourself.
I have a lot and a lot , but all I can say :
We are so weak when We are fapping, because of the "what porn do for our brains", and we have no power to get the dream girl, or even the female dog , haaaa.

 

There are a great deal of guys on here who claim they didn't watch porn until their later teens. Which, following the logic that PMO is the ultimate turn-off, would mean they'd be having sex all through middle school and high school.

The real question is, how much effort do they put into their looks; and how often do they go out and meet young women?

 

I'm in almost the same situation as you and I contend it's the other way around: The inability to find a significant other or at least a sexual partner causes people to masturbate and eventually consume excessive amounts of pornography. At least in my case the observations seem to fit this hypothesis.

 

I genuinely think for me personally PMO was a huge contributing factor to why I have always been single. I still am single but I am going to ask out this girl I like soon. I never would have done this in the past but I have attained a whole new perspective from nofap. Diet, exercise, and general self betterment hasnt hurt either.

 

This was great and funny, lol .

 

To answer this question: no.
I have many friends that are virgins, and love the fact that they are virgins. They know the consequences of sex and what it can do to a relationship. One of my friends is going to stay a virgin until he gets married. And no he doesn't watch porn, and he doesn't even masturbate. He works hard on keeping these good habits. He is pure. I also know some very socially inept people that don't watch porn. What I am trying to say is being a virgin is not a bad thing.. but I think indulging in pornography is

 

I can only agree with most of the lads and lasses here who replied to this thread.

Shortly, My own Opinion:
- I think that PMO can be a main contributor, but it is highly dependant on your own personality. I know lots of friends who have a GF and Fap all day and even do not think of giving that habit up. All of the lads I know, either
1. Talked about their Fap habit
2. Or did not mention it at all.
None was opposed to Fapping though. None.

After all, I think it is wrong to blame PMO only for our non-existent success in Relationships. It is surely a high contributor, but not the only one. Factors like how you were raised, how your parents were to each other (my case: I am quite Conservative and rather Traditional, sometimes I feel that I should have live in the 50s in Britain. I am oppose all Types of Clubs/Nightclubs/Bars and Drinking and Smoking. I am against the excessive use of Social Media and think Online Dating is just a waste of time. I never saw true love, since my parents were always fighting each other until they divided their path.)

If you analyze your past and childhood, you may meet the reasons why you had no Relationships. I did, and I aim fix them now. We shall conclude our past!

 

I never think it's a good idea to assess what could have been. We all like to believe that we would have behaved like saints. But the truth is it could in fact be quite the opposite. Even though it goes against the conventional wisdom of this site, I think there's a chance you may have ended up worse had you not found porn.

My aunts and uncles grew up in the 80s and early 90s - before high-speed internet as we know it. They self-medicated with booze and weed instead of pixelated nude models. Is that any more productive than PMO? Of course not.

Nobody has an ideal upbringing. Of course there are things that could have been better. But by that token things also could have been worse. You could have grown up in a war-torn country like Syria or perhaps a totalitarian system like North Korea. Things like freedom of speech and innocent-until-proven-guilty are fairy tales those regions.