Is no porn the same as no pics?

Hi Shai_Halud, welcome.

High speed internet porn has hooked a lot of guys, but its different than pictures. That said, if you have a picture you downloaded from the internet, you may have a high speed internet problem, in which case you have to get rid of the pictures.

Three things: Get educated, use tools, and expect withdrawals.

Education. To beat the problem you have to understand the problem. Watch this vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_RIm9ZMN1I

I came to understand my brain had a problem. My brain loves dopamine. Best drug in the history of the universe. Dopamine is released to encourage us to eat and to have sex. When it comes to porn, our brain, specifically our brain's primitive chemical reward center, cannot tell porn from sex. It rewards both equally. But unlike sex, porn is free, effortless, easy, limitless, available 23/7, and so the brain comes to reward porn over sex, by the release of dopamine and other reward chemicals. With sex, if you are lucky, you get a dopamine rush a few times a week, but with porn, you can get that rush, in a few minutes, every day, multiple times if you want it. At the worst of my addiction I was PMOing every day, more than once. Once you understand what porn has done to those pathways you can work to rewire them back. It can be done, but it takes effort. Too many guys here think of quitting porn as a passive event, just not doing it. I tried and failed that way too. To be successful you have to get proactive; you can't just sit around "not doing it", you have to take steps to stop it. Porn is the problem. Porn is seeing it, thinking of it, watching it, edging to it, PMOing, remembering it, imagining it, and using porn substitutes (non porn that still triggers dopamine release). So, when quitting, don't just stop, do something about it. Use tools. Take control.

Tools. Posting here is a tool. It allows me to reeducate myself about my addiction. Reading posts and replying help me, so thank you for posting. Also, porn blockers. Yes, they can be gotten around, but that extra few seconds they slow you down gives you a moment to stop, ponder what you are doing (quitting), and NOT move on to the problem. There are other tools that other guys use here, so get educated about your options. Don't just say you are quitting, but do things that make yourself feel you are taking charge of the situation, that porn is not in control anymore, you are.

Withdrawals. These suck. There are why guys fail and get into that cycle of failing over and over and over. Withdrawals are your dopamine drenched brain betting, pleading, threatening, and punishing you for not giving it the dopamine release that porn causes. The pain will be mental, emotional, and physical. You mentioned jealousy. That is a rationalization. Rationalizations come with withdrawals. That is your brain trying to talk you into PMOing again, telling you why its OK, why its justified, why you deserve it. Punishing ourselves or others in our lives is a common rationalization for PMO relapse. The thing about withdrawals is they totally suck, and they take us to a place where we say, if this is how I am going to feel without PMO, I don't want to live this way. But, they will not last. It sucks to go through them, but it is necessary to go through them. You will not get from where you are to PMO free without going through them, so I came to embrace the idea of suffering through the withdrawal, of wanting it, of wanting to suffer through it. The thing is, once your brain quits trying to convince you to give it a dopamine rush, and accepts its going back to normal pre porn dopamine levels, it gets way better. Once your brain is back to normal, that is only rewarding the things it is meant to reward, the withdrawals go away. It won't happen in a day, but I see guys staying PMO free for over 11 days who begin to look forward to a PMO free life, and not backward, wanting the PMO release.

Good luck on your journey. Thanks for helping me by giving me the opportunity to respond. It sounds like you have less of a problem than some here.

Peace.

 

I agree with William. I have tried something similar in the past viewing photos of my girlfriend as some sort of nicotine patch to ween off and it doesn't really work in the long term. Maybe for a week or two but I think it encourages the behaviors and is playing with fire. Hang in there.

 

The problem is that porn and sex are rewarded equally in the brain's chemical reward center, with a dopamine release. We love that drug. We have no choice but to love dopamine, it is part of our braom's natural wiring system. While PMOing is probably the way to get the biggest high, watching porn, seeing it, thinking of it, imagining it, remembering it, and porn substitutes (imagery that is not porn but still cause the dopamine release are all still treated by the brain's reward center the same way--by rewarding it with dopamine. There are studies showing guys becoming addicted to non porn pics, like you say is your thing. Ultimately, if you are looking at pictures and having sexual thoughts that are rewarded by dopamine release, you are still abusing porn. When I first quit I consciously tried to have no sexual thoughts, and avoided lingering on them or fantasizing. Of course, sexual thoughts are impossible to totally get rid of, but a momentary flash which you put out of your mind is a lot different than lingering on them. If you are PMOing to those pics, you are lingering on them.

I hope this helps.

Good luck to you.