Is my sexuality permanently damaged at 16?

Hi guys! First post on the official NoFap site although I've been on NoFap for 3 months now.

As far as the mental and emotional benefits, NoFap has taken me far and opened my world up due to semen retention.

However, sexually, lots of damage has been done. After years of binging videos with music, fast cuts, and edits, I've finally abstained for 3 months.

I began meeting this amazing girl. We connect so deep as people, but also intimately as well. I was so excited to keep moving forward with her and even lose my virginity and get physically closer with her.

It all went good at first. I really know how to turn her on and get her going. The problem is, is that I've found myself completely bored out of my mind while she is completely aroused.

And yet, I am 110% attracted to this girl and wanted sex. And I am only 16, she is 18, so my libido should be through the roof for her. But it's sad, because no matter how much she pleasured me, I was soft as if nothing was happening at all.

I got frusturated and broke down to her, getting kind of emotional and explaining my problem and the deal with nofap to her. She completely understood and said she would wait as long as she has to.

But as weeks pass, and I still am not aroused, I'm starting to feel more and more bored with her and less attracted.

I was suppose to take the next step with her and have sex, and that would spice up and make the relationship so much better.

But I'm still struggling with this PIED at 16 years old. I feel bad bc she always talks about how much she misses sex. Meanwhile I'm a man and I can't even give that to her because of my selfish evils over the years.

I wonder if I should call it quits with her or what. I want to lose my virginity so bad, and I love this girl as a person, so I kinda want to hold on to her so I can be prepared and have experience with a girl.

And i turn her on so much, but I constantly feel numb. Ive fingered her and ate her out even. Of course she enjoyed that but it frustrates me I can't. Not even a handjob or blowjob will do it.

I almost feel as if my sexuality is gone. I'm no longer attracted to girls or anything. As if any sense of sexuality has been wiped away from my brain and I no longer even get excited by anything.

A month ago, I tried to masturbate and watch porn about 3 different nights, but never relapsed. And not even porn was enjoyable no more. It took me awhile to get a full erection from porn even. It seems I've detached from porn, but still desensitized to a real life girl. And I'm so confident with her, it's not an all in my head thing.

Cant get hard from porn or a real girl. Not even normal masturbation.

I feel f'd.

I even meditate, excercise, read books, take cold showers, abstain from technology, and eat a healthy diet to speed up my reboot. And yes, many mental and emotional gains. But my sexual drive only gets worse.

My few vices are niccotine (from juul) and marijuana.

I know these mess with dopamine and libido, so next I plan on cutting those out as my last desperate attempt to gain my sexuality, erection, and excitement for girls back. I even told my dad and said maybe we need to see a doctor about this. I don't know what else to do.

NoFap isn't all colors and rainbows. It's a motivating, yet depressing process.

Any tips, sympathy, or similar stories are welcomed and appreciated.


Have a nice day