Is masturbation itself a problem?

My personal opinion is, that if you have an addiction, particularly towards porn, if you masturbate you might end up having a case of escalation. It starts with fapping a couple of times a week, then a couple of times a day, then porn, then hardcore porn, and so on.

 

That's really a question that you are going to have to ask yourself. For me, I have to quit masturbation because it always leads back to porn.
Also, I was clearly addicted to it because I couldn't stop. Sometimes I would decide to stop and I could only fight the urge for 20 minutes and then I would do it again. That was not healthy.

I don't believe that the sexual fantasies normally associated with masturbation are healthy or good.

 

Any self-sexual pleasure is detrimental.

 

Well, I think that only way to sort of vindicate lust is to indulge in a way that is unselfish--to share it with another person, to whom you are unconditionally loyal. Otherwise, lust is so powerful and so selfish in its nature, it can't ultimately be healthy for someone's character. I might be overstating things, and of course these are complex issues, but that's essentially what I think.

 

"Everything bad is an addiction"

 

Only if doesn't become a adiction

 

Is it effecting your ability to perform in bed with a real live partner? If the answer is yes then you need to stop.

 

Some will disagree in these forums, but I'm personally of the belief that all masturbation is inherently self-destructive.

But I also think you're asking the wrong question. It sounds like you're trying to leave yourself 'an out', trying to retain the ability to sexually satisfy yourself while you abstain from porn. And look, I get it--I'm a full-blown sex addict who has been with over 250 women and could probably rival any story you've got. I know what it feels like to taste that lifestyle and crave it. It's much harder to fight this addiction when it feels like the fulfillment of all your sexual fantasies is just within your reach. But I can say with confidence (and credibility) that the kind of fulfillment we're seeking in sexual encounters will never be found there.

If you're having a problem simply enjoying sex with your partner, then I'd highly suggest making her your only outlet for sexual pleasure. There's a very good chance that with time, you'll enjoy sex with her far more, simply because you're not getting release from anywhere else.

 

The problem you mentioned about couples not enjoying sex as much with each other is very common place, all thanks to porn.

 

I agree. And I think as far as having multiple sexual partners, there is also a danger of ultimately using other people as a means to satisfying an appetite, rather than treating them as what they are: children of God, the least of whom are of immeasurable value. Even if one is not a Christian or a theist, in fact, even if you're a strict materialist and an atheist, I think almost everyone will be of the mind that people should not simply be used and discarded so far as they service a need or desire. To me, the depersonalized nature of porn can develop a notion that sexual satisfaction can be made to order even more readily than fast food, which is out of sync with the reality that it is human beings that satisfy our sexual urges and that human beings are not disposable things that can be used and disposed according to the whim of our desires, which is sort of what you can end up getting from porn I think.

I think with porn, the danger is magnified in ways, but I also think the danger is there outside of it as well, whenever people embrace the notion that sexual desire is just another appetite and that sex itself is just another recreational activity.

I used to work at a gym and at a certain point, I found myself just lusting almost uncontrollably over every woman that met my standards of attraction. And I felt that it wasn't healthy and that it definitely impeded my ability to interact with them in a way that really gave them their due as people. In my case, I think part of it was the effects of porn bleeding over into the rest of my life. But part of it, also, was in my opinion, just the result of what happens when lust runs amuck with no controls.

 

I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I don't see a problem with masturbation so long as it's not causing problems and/or not contributing to depression or feelings of worthlessness.

 

You need to reset your mind, which will take 90 days. After that you can M once in a while. But definitely kick porn out of your life if you love yourself and the once close to you.

 

Whats is natural, i am afraid, is not always the answer. In a context of religious tradition it has perfect sense, and i admit that natural way did made us a dominant species on this planet. But what is also natural is our capacity to change and adapt. Not to mention many other things we are not even yet aware. There is no simple answer. Having said that i suggest you at least try it(nofap). You will learn something either way.

 

Beating off in most cases isn't kept to a healthy minimum by most people. The more you wank, the more you want to wank some more. And then when you're not wanking, you're thinking of wanking. We are an addict wanker nation that loves to justify wanking because most don't want to admit they're addicted.

 

20 years? I say quit masturbation too. Your a creature of habit. I feel you go MO then you will inevitably PMO too. Just quit it all.

 

Good question. We are told the usual bullshit of 'it's perfectly healthy'.
It turns out that is clearly not the case for a lot of guys.
I think the key is to find something else to do that really keeps your mind off it , ( though I haven't done that yet ). Good luck to you.

 

Ok just to put things in perspective let me give you a scenario.



A heroin addict wants to get clean yes? He does all activities and stays busy. But as he is in his home alone or with his family. He craves and urges to take heroin. He has a heroin mindset and he can't simply take his mind off it because he is addicted. The same applies to porn addiction. U see my point?