Is it delayed flatline or am I being too hypervigilant? I'm the wife..

Hi. I hope you all can offer some insight. I'm a regular reader but shy to post.

My PA husband quit porn about 4 months ago. Our sex life leading up to discovery was almost non existent, however erections were not an issue to my knowledge. The few times a year we had sex, he was always able to perform.

Once he stopped, our sex life did a 180. After lots of counseling and recovery work, we've enjoyed lots of frequency, we're learning to be intimate (not just sexual) and things have been progressing very nicely. There have been absolutely no erection issues since he quit. There has been PE problems, but that has been an issue the entire marriage. Stopping porn so far hasn't changed the PE.

The last two times we've had sex, he has been soft at the beginning. He might get hard for a minute but then lose it. I refuse to knock myself out trying to get him hard because doing so is a trigger on my self esteem. I know that if I wanted to put the effort in, I could get him hard. I am specifically talking about him lacking an erection without stimulation. Which, like I said, wasn't a problem until now.

I made my concern known and he was terrified that I think he's looking at porn. I don't believe he is. He has no explanation and said that he isn't even waking up with morning wood for the last couple of weeks. My mind immediately goes to my body not being good enough to give him an erection and he is very frustrated with my thinking that.

I've read about flatline but the timing seems off. He's 4+ months out. Should I be concerned?

Thank you in advance!

 

Thanks for the input all. I think I'm overreacting a bit. It's hard to cut him slack with everything I've been through but I definitely don't think he's back on the porn. I'm MORE worried that the last few months have been some type of "show" on his part since part of my biggest pain came from feeling undesired and he went above and beyond to show me that I was. Now, two semi bad beginnings to sex have me paranoid that he really isn't into it after all. It's not very rational but that's where my mind goes.

As for him, he's in his 50's, great health. I'll just have to see how things progress (or don't).