Is it acceptable to look at sexy pictures of your SO during reboot?

As a SO I think it is great. Saving your urges for her and having them about her rewired your brain away from pixels. As long as you don't get into fantasy about other people or porn sex IMO

 

Getting turned on and aroused by your SO is completely normal. Hell, its amazing!!! There is nothing wrong with it at all!! Just make sure your only sexual outlets are your SO and nothing else. If you're not ready for that, then you need to be open and honest with her. That's communication at its finest and that's what makes the strongest relationships.

Hope this helps boss!! I'm doing this for my future wife as well!!

 

Having the images shouldn't be a problem. Secretly Ming to them rather than choosing sex with your partner is, in my opinion. Not just because it could be replacing actual intimacy and IRL sex but because it is a lonely, solo behaviour that is too similar to P use for me to want to continue with it. If there is a day or more where you and your partner will be apart, and you let her know if/when you use the pictures, that might also be acceptable. I chose not to use any pictures of my wife for M unless it is an interactive exchange between us, with messaging, skype or something involved. That way I know that she is happy about my behaviour, I am not doing anything that could be considered as hurtful or damaging to our relationship. Plus it is so much better than just a picture. You may wish to find out what your SO is sending you these pictures for: is it a way of flirting, or is she intending for you to M to them? Have you had this conversation?

I know you did not ask about this next part, but I would recommend being fully open about your intention to cut out PM from your life. It is not an easy conversation to have, but it sure makes quitting the P a lot easier to be accountable to someone whose opinion of you is the most important thing for you. If your P use has been going on longer than your relationship, then it can only improve your relationship to cut it out. To allow yourself to be that open, honest and vulnerable with her (in confessing to your P use and your intention to cut it out of your life completely) will also be appreciated, I would expect, despite any initial hurt. As long as you are serious about this. As long as you keep it up. I would recommend being brave.

 

I agree with @samnf1990 being honest is the best policy. Also, addicts who lie are usually the ones who constantly relapse. Honesty is the best way out of the darkness.

My fiance is @Jak3 and the thing is I used to send him sexy pics but I sent them to compete or erase the need for pmo. I didn't fully know the extent of his usage but his instagram made me feel like I had to compete. I didn't send them for the right reasons. I can tell you that it was the lying that almost destroyed our relationship. Once there was honesty, we kept getting better and better. We decided no sexy pics because it's on a screen. It's similar to porn. Some people believe only IRL stuff is good and if it's on a screen it shouldn't happen. So it's really up to you and knowing whether or not that is a trigger for you. But I do recommend being honest. Plus, once the anger and hurt passes, wouldn't it be amazing to have the support of your wife during this instead of being alone?

 

I can see your predicament. For me, I would love my wife to send my sexy pics so it could build anticipation for us to be together that night. But, I also understand that your mind right now is very fragile over your past addictions. I would be honest with your wife as well. You may be afraid that she'll stop sending pictures forever. But if she loves you she will understand and send you your favorite pics when you're ready

 

A lot depends on how you are looking at the pictures and what you do with them. As an invitation to a hot evening that helps you think about getting home quickly it sounds positive. If the photo captures too much of your attention and becomes an object of your desire, it is a relapse. It has its dangers, but if you are communicating openly, controlling your photo reactions, and developing a more intimate relationship, then it sounds like it could be good.

 

Old photos that used to be a trip or trigger BEFORE a porn session or old M material MUST be deleted.
The brain stores these pathways and looking at them can trip sensors to want to look back at the Exact same websites that you looked at last time and reloooking at the photos and wanting to look at P and your like Why?
Your Rebooted... No, your not...
Not if you still have these P-Subs.

New dirty photos on the other hand....
I totally approve of.
They are "link free" from the porn pathways created and linked in the plastic brain rewards center.
It's great to create new patterns and pathways to the healthy new sex life.
I fully support this.
And yes all the way.

 

Good for you!
And yes, when my SO read about my pictures on another thread he was deeply saddened... He loves my pictures too, but he was honest with himself and knew they were dangerous because he loved them for "less than good intentions" reasons. So they had to go.
I still send pictures but he feels like these are happy pictures because they aren't negative attachments to them.
So glad that we can all spread the good information along along.... Maybe in a few months when someone else asks, you can tell them what we all shared with you

 

Great question in general Jon and a lot of good responses. Keep up the great work! You got this man!