Is fear of straight men completely out of the ordinary?

I tend to paranoically find a lot of straight men aggressive, hostile and crude. There is a sense of panic, fear and anxiety around them for me. Sure, I can notice I'm attracted to a lot of the guys when I spot them, but I sense too much hostility to lead a normal conversation. I do not even talk like most of them and we don't share similar topics. But it's stressful and can't be avoided or taken for granted. I have never experienced a long-term friendship with a guy. I just know when I'm attracted to some but hostility can be present in both gay and straight men.
I hope that someone can get a jist out of this, and I also hope that I'm not offending anyone. This is just from my experience and I'm not stating it as a general fact.

 

I think it´s kinda similar to the fear many straight men have of talking to any attractive woman. What attracts people at lot often invokes some kind of fear same moment. If it were not for the power of sexuality, most boys and girls raised up in classical gender roles, would not interact a lot with each other later. ("Boys are stupid, smelly, boring and rude!" vs. "Girls are snitches, cry-babies, boring and sneaky!")

Trust me, many straight men are as anxious as you with other men, but they keep up the frontage. It´s about not showing or admitting any weakness in public, like women do their makeup and check their hair, before leaving the appartment. As bigger the alpha attitude as bigger often the hidden insecurity and fear someone stronger might kick his ass.

 

I agree, this is true.

Same happens to me BUT I have developed ways to disarm them because I can distract or derail that behavior with flirting behavior. Very few str8 guys hold it together that way. My guess, tho, is that they probably sense you are "different" and that threatens them too. You probably touch a nerve of discomfort because it triggers that macho aggressive bad-boy stuff ---- but it is also attractive in a silly cave-man-ish way, for me. Learning to disarm these Neanderthal types (and meaning no real offense to sweet well-meaning Neanderthals out there!) is actually a kind of fun hobby after a while.

True. It is very off-putting but you need to experiment in ways to ease comfort. Also, I find a lot of str8 men actually put forth this macho faćade because they have sexual identity questions of their own --- is it may be that you make them question their own straightness??

I agree with this, and experience this a lot. Most men freak out in that situation (which ranges from awkward to adorable) OR they are uber-macho and come off as jerks. Like, really, do you think driving you muscle car slowly by a pretty girl and revving your car-engine makes me go "OMG he is so hot and intelligent....let's make babies!", said NO WOMAN EVER!!!

Personally, I find the more overt, out-there, loutish macho projection a man makes, the more likely he is an unaware or closet bi- or gay man. Real confident str8 men have ZERO need to project anything other than their genuine selves, and do not seek approval of others of their sexuality. The do not give AF. And this, THIS, is sexy as hell.

 

very thoughtful and caring post. u r cool.

 

I believe that straight men you have fear toward is because of the projection they give off. Not who they actually are.

For example I am an enormous wrestling fan so anytime I see anyone male or female wearing a wrestling shirt that’s already a topic I know I can have a conversation about and it’s not based on looks or attitude. So you may want to try an approach like that @Gay Hercules.

I have also been told too that when I am alone or by myself or focused I look like an asshole or douche, but I’m actually pretty easy and respectful to anyone who wants to talk to me. And lately since giving up porn and masturbation I have found my confidence to just be comfortable around people and not feel like I’m Locked in a place with people and to leave me alone.