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Is blowjob considered as relapsed ?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by IWantToBeAHuman, Jun 22, 2017.

  1. IWantToBeAHuman

    IWantToBeAHuman Fapstronaut

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    Today my girlfriend give me blowjob and when im about to come . I pull it out and finished it with my hands .. did i just relapsed ??
    Btw today is my 2 weeks of no-pmo
    . Reply is much appreciated .
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  2. HeadAche

    HeadAche Guest

    In my opinion, that is not relapse.
    Most importantly is how do you feel?
     
  3. Depends what rules you have for yourself. I'm doing no PMO so that includes no sex with my wife unless I can learn how to not orgasm during sex. Your rules might only be for orgasming to porn and not your girlfriend.
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  4. I have no idea.
    In the moment where I use my hands it's me who initiate the ejaculation. Relapse - yes or no. I think another question is more important: Was it a pleasant experience for you and your girlfriend? Did it happen because you were related with each other or would you consider it as masturbation? I see it in context with your relationship. If you switch from No-PMO-mode to No-PM-mode it's definitely not a relapse.
     
    Headspace and Chakra_Serpent like this.
  5. IWantToBeAHuman

    IWantToBeAHuman Fapstronaut

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    I feel super exhausted after that , my self steem became low again . And i just cant hold my self when im with my girlfriend and sex is present in a opportunity
     
  6. HeadAche

    HeadAche Guest

    Maybe you should try to have sex but to never orgasm/ejaculate.
    Though, I wouldn't worry to consider it a relapse.
    Sure there are drawbacks as you saw yourself but definitely more positive than doing it yourself with P involved.
    Keep rebooting, don't worry.
     
    Headspace likes this.
  7. IWantToBeAHuman

    IWantToBeAHuman Fapstronaut

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    I have PE issues man thats why i cant hold my orgasm .. and thats also one of the reasons why im doing nofap .. im getting super excited when having sex with my gf . I think thats why i blow my load that fast .. i cant control myself :(
     
  8. HeadAche

    HeadAche Guest

    I see.
    Am, @ILoathePwife used to recommend this Karezza thing so I thought maybe it's something you can look into.
    Also, there is tantra.
    I don't know whether that applies to you but try them out. I had some problems in the past like that (nothing serious) and I think sometimes the main problem is getting too much excited or not breathing enough.
    Don't want to be a smartass and I'm not an expert but when you start having sex, go slow, it's not a race. Just enjoy it and you know, be in the moment. When you feel like you are going to go, just stop or try something else. That is how you get better.

    Maybe also try some PC exercises.
    Have you tried any of these?
     
  9. I am not sure would count a BJ as a relapse, an BJ is always a good thing in my wacked out way oth thinking. The problem is if you couldn't finish with her and HAD to use your hand. One of the things I read about here is the death grip problem,your get desensitized and need to finish with your own hand. I have seen this in many porns, not sure if the guys have the same problem or it is done to show the guy cuming on the girl.
     
  10. IWantToBeAHuman

    IWantToBeAHuman Fapstronaut

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    I think your right .. i cant control my breath . My breath got really deep when were doing it , sometimes i even stop breathing and only starts to breath when i am aware of it. And anxiety is also a part of the problem.
     
  11. HeadAche

    HeadAche Guest

    Ok so you know where is your problem. Breath, man breath.
    Make love, breath in, breath out.
    Anyways, I'm not qualified to give advices. Look for some article on this matter, but I think you are all right nothing disturbing in your body.
    Good luck.
     
  12. samnf1990

    samnf1990 Fapstronaut

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    If you suffer from PE then why did you feel the need to finish yourself off? Perhaps try to remove such behaviours (common in P) and let happen what your gf does to you and wants you to do to her. I wouldn't consider it a relapse, but going forward, knowing that you feel negatively (at least in part) about how it ended, maybe just don't use your hand on yourself when with her going forward. I hope you felt like the experience as a whole was a positive one? A healthy and enjoyable sex life is important in a relationship and a BJ should be viewed as a loving gift.
     

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