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Is abject depression common?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. I don't know if it's just because I'm working at a prison and it's freaking cold all the time at the moment, but I'm in a seriously lethargic, majorly depressed state at the moment. It has sunk in over the last few days, to the point that I can barely post on here as I just can't think of the words. I'm making an effort to engage at least a little, so I can remain focused.

    I'm aware that relapse will not make this better and I do not want to.

    Is it common to get PROPER depressed early on? I'm not sure I've experienced this before. I always have a low-medium level of depressed thought but this is just horrible. It concerns me when people talk about being in this state for 6+ months.
     
  2. Djunderduress

    Djunderduress New Fapstronaut

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    Find what your passionate about and throw yourself at it. Obviously you want change so steer the ship.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    I'm not 100% sure I understand what abject depression means, but major mood swings I believe are common in early stages of reboots. My theory - which I've seen others discuss as well - is that many of us have used PMO as a means of escaping negative thoughts instead of actually dealing with them, but in the end, that was just a temporary, not really helpful "solution" - nothing was ever really solved. The feelings are still there, inside of you.
    Once you quit PMO, all of those feelings come rushing back in full force. Now it's time to deal with them in a healthy manner.
    For a more scientific approach check this.
     
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  4. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    There will be up and downs, but yes, the trip will be difficult. Just remember that it is a healing process, and it can hurt.
     
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  5. @Djunderduress - At first I wanted to reject your comment because I've been chasing what I'm passionate about for a long time now.
    I just went outside and saw the sun beginning to rise over the trees in the semi-rural area I live though, and realised that I'm not really moving towards what I really want- a simple life in a secluded place. When people say 'do what you're passionate about,' I get caught up in the idea that it has to be some activity like recording music, electronics etc (both of which I love doing,) but for me, it's more about the overall lifestyle.
    Working at the prison means driving up to 5 hours a day and spending most of that time stuck in traffic. It leaves me feeling empty because it's such a massive waste of time, and the prison is bloody depressing.

    Your comment has lead me to be inspired to start making some meaningful enquiries into moving towards what I want for myself at the end of the year. I have to time it in well with school etc so that means 5 more months of working close to the city, but that's a good thing as it gives me time to actually prepare. Thank you.

    @Hros - Thanks for posting the link to your thread there. You've covered some really meaningful ground in that post which I can directly relate to my own situation atm. I've definitely found that making nofap.com my primary web resource is helping me stay focused and not wander into the unregulated and seedy side of the internet which is always just a click away.

    @arkad1 - Such a simple statement and so true. At some point I found a post from someone who'd actually graphed their moods out over a period of time to demonstrate that, despite having terrible days at points, literally 0 motivation and the lowest moods possible, over time there was a pronounced upward trend in their day-to-day sense of wellbeing.

    I appreciate all of you taking the time to reply here. Everything's pointing towards grinding it out a day at a time and being active here, slowly working towards the lifestyle which I really want to create for myself. I think I'll always be running the risk of collapsing into crippling depression and potential relapse unless I start making some headway, however small, towards my ideal lifestyle on a daily basis... Even if that's just concentrating on being self-sufficient and not buying pre-made food etc, getting used to not having immediate access to comfort items such as takeaway and cafe coffee.
     
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