1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Irrational Thinking

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. I shared this in my journal and thought I'd start a new thread on what to do when you have irrational thoughts

    Yesterday I had a face-to-face tutorial at a local college and arrived at the location 15 minutes before the time it was due to start. Once I arrived at the college the front gates were locked, tried calling the college and my tutor but they didn't pick up. I almost gave up on attending but walked down the side road just in case there was a back entrance. And I realised the main entrance was actually on the side. After sometime I found the class but ended up being about 20 minutes late.

    I tried to concentrate during the class and I ended up taking notes but in my back of mind I wondering what all the tutor and all the other students thought of me. I'm usually a punctual person and I found it humiliating that I was so late. As soon as the class ended I got out of there asap. While walking back to the city I started having all these irrational thoughts such as how dumb I was for being so late, I thought all the students and my tutor hated me and then I thought to myself, 'I don't care if they hate me because I hate them'. Then I started to think about how stupid I was for thinking such irrational thoughts and then started to think no women would want to be with me because I had such irrational thoughts. Then I started to think I'd be better off dead.

    You read my journal where I go into more details.

    But I want to ask what do you do when you have such thoughts? Do you fight them or do you just let your mind run wild? I've said this before that I think I need to see a therapist (which I can't afford at the moment), but in the meantime what can I do if similar thoughts come to my mind.
     
    Deleted Account and A41:14A like this.
  2. DeProfundis

    DeProfundis Fapstronaut

    552
    717
    93
    Instead of letting your mind wander, focus on doing the task at hand with more effort and excellence. It would be normal to think "Oh dear I am late how embarrassing!" but why dwell on that for such a long time when there are other pressing things to consider e.g "What's for lunch? Is this coming out for the test? E.t.c"

    Learning to cultivate awareness takes time... from there you can start to see things from a different angle. Life will become interesting.
     
  3. Opportunity For Better

    Opportunity For Better Fapstronaut

    112
    141
    43
    Good for you for persisting and making it to you class instead of just giving up at the obstacles.

    Our body chemistry influences our thoughts. It goes the other way, too: our thoughts influence our body chemistry. This should be pretty obvious to people here, because if you think sexual thoughts your body physically responds and if you feel horny, you think sexual thoughts. It's all a big feedback loop between the body and brain (which is part of the body, after all).

    Anyway, you might have been feeling anxious about being late and the stress caused a release of adrenaline. Once you got to class you've got this fight or flight hormone still circulating around your body, but you don't have any physical challenge to overcome. So your mind makes up stuff based on the fact that it feels under attack.

    @DeProfundis' advice about being in the moment is good. You can explore that more by searching for mindfulness exercises and practicing mindfulness meditation.

    Also, the healthier your lifestyle the less this sort of thing will affect you. Exercise and healthy diet have both been shown to positively affect moods and clear-headedness. I'd recommend those in addition to the mindfulness.
     
    Deleted Account and A41:14A like this.
  4. Yeah, I almost didn't go because I walked around the whole college and everything seemed closed. I was about to leave but then I noticed the sign for my class. I thought about still not going because of the time but decided to go anyway.

    That reminds of what Mel Robbins says about how to stop fear and anxiety. Today I was reading my book of quotes and I came across one by Karen Thompson Walk where she was saying that our fears are stories we tell ourselves and such stories might not be true. Really I don't know what the students or my tutor thought of me and I've made up a story as to what they thought of me. It's probably a fact that I've given it a whole lot more though than they have. And anyway it shouldn't matter too much since it's a distance learning course and I won't be seeing them much.

    I'm trying to practise mindfulness and staying present but some days I forget to meditate. And you're right about exercise. I need to make time for that. Since my university course starting I've not been running but I should make time for it.

    But thank you for your advise and thank you @DeProfundis
     
  5. A41:14A

    A41:14A Fapstronaut

    179
    11,433
    123
    Change your thoughts and you change your world.
    (I'm a big believer in the power of positive thinking)

    Sometimes it's hard to modify your thoughts from negative ones to positive ones - when it seems there's only negativity surrounding you..

    But it is possible.
    please check this link:
    www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-labermeier/manifesting_b_1420628.html
     
  6. When that kind of thing happens to me I usually try to process the thoughts as soon as I can so that they're fresh in my mind. I think about where they came from? Are they emotionally charged? Do they even make sense rationally? After I've figured that out I then decide on what to do. Usually those thoughts stem from an emotional context and are irrational. I've had similar thoughts before and it's usually down to me overthinking things.
     
  7. Yeah, I was getting stressed out about my assignment next month, but I just reminded myself that I will do what I can in this moment and will not worry about it. Because stress and worry don't change anything.

    Good advice. Usually what we worry and stress about are such little. I was stressing about my assignment but I've written assignments before and passed modules so really it's a waste of energy.
     
  8. I've been there, I think it's a part of human nature. But I think we can overcome it in some way. I know I've overthought a lot of things and that just makes it all worse from conversations to assignments. Just try and work on being cool, calm and collected and with time it will get better. I never thought I could be much of a social butterfly but it turns out I can be if I choose to be and not stress about it.
     
    Deleted Account and Nova like this.
  9. Sight

    Sight Fapstronaut

    In my experience, it tends to best work with a multi-pronged approach.
    I can only share what I do, and note I don't do this all the time, but maybe I will do at least one of them.

    So - I journal, write them down. Without judgement, if I can. And if I do judge my thoughts when writing them down, well there's just something more to explore.
    Then I try to figure out if there is a reason for those thought processes, or why I feel the need to judge them or feel bad for having them.
    A lot of interesting things come up sometimes, and other times its nothing.

    Next, I try to put them in another way, frame them as thinking errors or cognitive distortions(look it up!), or attribute a source to them, such as 'sleep deprivation', 'depression', 'withdrawal', 'event A is still affecting me and I am not over it, should talk about it with someone'.

    If you don't have time to do this, try to at least accept them and understand you are simply human.
    Asking you to just accept them is also a very easy thing to do, I get it, been there.
    In which case, what might(key word!) help is a few self-affirmations such as, "I forgive myself unconditionally", "I accept myself unconditionally" with a few tweaks if you need it.

    Such as, "I accept I am having some difficulties with my thoughts and that I wish I could be more compassionate with myself" or something.

    Other than that, just try to live a healthy life, minimum junk food/sugar, exercise(doesn't have to be for a marathon, try to at least get a walk in everyday!).
    And if you can't meditate, then simply close your eyes for a few minutes and name all the things going on around you, or whatever thoughts, feelings, sensations going on inside you or some combination of both :)

    Hope that helped. Keep going and hope you feel better at some point!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Thanks, I've added them to my positive affirmations.
     
    A41:14A likes this.

Share This Page