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Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Tradiphil, Mar 29, 2017.

  1. Mar 29, 2017 #1
    Tradiphil

    Tradiphil New Fapstronaut

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    Hello!
    I am 38 years old, married, and severely addicted to pornography and masturbation. I am glad I found this site to seek help. While there has been ups and downs since I was about 17, this has really been an ongoing problem for the past 20 years. I have touched rock bottom for the past 3 months. I watch pornography daily, and masturbate multiple times a day. I am also a fairly traditional Catholic, thus the reminder of this intro has a strong religious component, and not everybody may agree with it.

    I do agree that both watching pornography and masturbating are grave sins; and any wilful stimulation of genitals is masturbation, even for a second, no exception. My sins have pushed me away from church, and I haven't been to mass for 4 months; this is another grave sin that feeds the others and vice versa. This situation cannot continue.

    Here are the steps that I think I need to undertake:
    1) it sounds straightforward, but I must repent. It is not that easy, as those sins destroy one's moral compass, and it takes time to really realize how sinful I have been. Once repentance is firmly established I must of course go to confession.
    2) I must stop committing those sins and do a complete reboot. A 90 day hard mode seems to be the way to go.

    I realize I cannot do this alone, so I am looking for an accountability partner who has succeeded in quitting PMO, and is a practicing Catholic. Either male or female is fine, with a preference for older people whom I could see as an authority figure.

    Practically there are several things that I have to do, including:
    -removing all porn and links to porn on my - send or discuss my browsing history with my AP,
    - cold showers and fasting; avoid being alone.
    - sleep with pants on (secure waist with belt)
    - My behavior is at its worst when I stay at a hotel for work, and temptation is horrible. Probably tie my hands behind my back whenever I am not busy working in the room; same at night.

    Thank you for reading and commenting. If you would like to be my AP, I would love to hear from you!
     
    Tradiphil, Mar 29, 2017
    Tradiphil, Mar 29, 2017
    #1
    D . J . likes this.
  2. Mar 29, 2017 #2
    D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.
     
    D . J ., Mar 29, 2017
    D . J ., Mar 29, 2017
    #2
  3. Mar 30, 2017 #3
    i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the forum. Many end up here after hitting a rock-bottom moment. You can use yours as motivation to stay clean. We can also use our family as proper motivation. Restoring our relationship with God can also be another one. It's amazing how much shame, guilt, and embarrassment is accumulated when we engage in this behavior. We cut ourselves off from our Creator!

    One eye opening thing I learned is that when an addict engages in addiction parts of their brain shut down. We go into a 'trance' or 'autopilot mode'. We no longer have the ability to make good decision, manage time, live up to or morals, or listen to our conscience. We lose the ability to determine what is right and wrong. That is why we can engage in behavior we know to be wrong and regret it moments after we finish.

    Addiction is not something that can be overcome by willpower alone. Develop strategies to distract yourself and deal with underlying issues. I wish you success on your journey.
     
    i_wanna_get_better1, Mar 30, 2017
    i_wanna_get_better1, Mar 30, 2017
    #3
    D . J . likes this.
  4. Mar 31, 2017 #4
    esforzado

    esforzado Fapstronaut

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    OK, Tradiphil, it is important to have a reason when quitting, a good reason, a reason that is important to you. This habit is a habit we probably would not quit unless it had some bad repercussions in our lives. Cigarette smokers would not quit if it did not affect them adversely. They lose lung capacity and eventually get cancer. There are all kinds of bad results from using porn all the time. From PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) to social interaction problems.
    "When I quit, I quit. I did not count the days, I woke up every morning and said to myself I am never going back". I think that is the mindset you must have.
     
    esforzado, Mar 31, 2017
    esforzado, Mar 31, 2017
    #4

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