Introduction

http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthre...-of-PMO-and-nofap-in-Mathematics-Graph-Theory

Welcome to the community, Ezra! I think you'll find that with education about PMO addiction, connecting with others through reading and posting here, amd an accountability partner, you'll have a much greater chance of success. Above is an interesting thread I read the other day that made a lot of sense to me, maybe it will be helpful to you as well!

Good luck on your journey!

 

I post here a lot. Its one of the tools I use to stay PMO clean. I started to try and quit about 19 months ago, and about 5 months ago became PMO free.

I found three things helped me.

1) Get educated. Understand the science behind the problem. Look at this vid. I watch it about once a week,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_RIm9ZMN1I

Understanding my primitive brain's chemical reward center could not distinguish porn from real sex (or for imagined sex either), and that it releases dopamine to either was huge for me. Dopamine is the greatest drug the human brain has ever experienced. That is why we become addicted; porn represents endless, limitless, effortless dopamine release, 24/7, whereas even a guy great with ladies is only getting laid once in a while. The brain comes to prefer porn over sex.

2) Use tools, like porn blockers. They help. Sure, you can get around them, but they slow you down, whereas right now, like I and most of the others were when we first started, you are in an Indy race of porn abuse, slowing down is a necessary first step in stopping. Ultimately, the porn blockers became just a reminder to me that I was quitting, like a tap on the shoulder, and they helped. Also, I post her a lot, it has helped me. Gives me an opportunity to reeducate myself about the problem.

3) Withdrawals suck. That is why guys fail. They put it in social terms, religious terms, they talk about pressure. But its just withdrawals. Withdrawals are your dopamine drenched primitive brain's chemical reward center begging you, threatening you, and punishing you for not giving it porn's dopamine reward. The pain will be mental, emotional, and physical, and you have to expect and even want it to get clean. You cannot get clean without it. It's OK, about 10 days after you stop, if you can stop for that long, they lessened in me considerably. I did have to learn that low level anxiety is just something I have; it's not a withdrawal symptom.

Also, your brain will try and trick you with rationalizations like "I've earned it", "my balls are so blue I have to", "a guy can get hurt if he does not O", "it's been a stressful day", and even that you are doing it to punish someone or yourself. Know about those and don't let a rationalization lead to relapse.

Lastly, you are NOT alone. I know there are millions of guys addicted to HSIP (high speed internet porn). In the USA and Japan the problem is rampant, Japan even more than here. Google it.

Watch the video, learn about the problem, learn it can be beat, learn how to beat it, beat it, and know you are not alone on your journey.

Peace.

 

Ezra don't be sad, be confident and fight this thing. You say its ruining what you have left well don't let it take that thing. Say you wont do it! Welcome to the community! Good luck and fight till you win. And when you win, fight harder.

 

Hello Ezra and welcome!

Lets get that sad face changed into a sad one!!

Just to get you started can I just make the following suggestions (and they are only suggestions)?

1. Head over to the forums at the top of the main page. Don't be shy. Wade in and see what grabs your interest. Start a thread. Help others and be helped just by getting involved. Plus its the PERFECT antidote to fapping!

2. Check out the website yourbrainonporn if you haven't already and make use of the brilliant resources there.

3. Consider doing a 90 day reboot and get yourself a tracker (see bottom of this post)

4. Lighten up! Humour really is the best medicine and can really help you see things from a new and and helpful perspective. (And you need that more than anything right now. Right?)

5. Consider reading the book 'Changing for Good' by James O Prochaska. Is a particularly helpful tool for those who want to make positive and LASTING change in their life. Several of us have found this to be an indispensable tool.

7. Don't get into arguments (especially over the usual politics/religion stuff) We are all human here and we are in this together regardless of our chosen 'path' (even if you believe truth is a 'pathless' land!)

6. Thank the founder of this site Alexander. It really is making the world a better place (I truly believe that!) And credit where its due I say!!

7. Greet and encourage newbies...;-)

All the very best to you