Introduction

Hello all,
I came across this site and watched some of the videos, read the forums and now feel I FINALLY have hope - something I’ve lacked in my recovery for years! You see I discovered or came clean with my counselor back in 2009. After approximately two years of therapy for anxiety and depression my porn addiction surfaced. Thinking back since I’ve been PMO since I was 12 these symptoms of anxiety and depression probably did originate from my P addiction. My first reaction was pure fear. You see I had recently married and I was advised to tell my newlywed wife. She freaked and 4 months later had an affair. Our marriage ended and for the first time in 7 years I was alone. I threw myself into 12 step “S” groups and managed to put together 8.5 months followed by a few 4 & 5 month streaks. As I relapsed my motivation slowly began to slip from me. Over time and with the deciteful help of rationalization it almost became ok to PMO, at least that’s what I told myself. Slips were a part of recovery I’d tell myself. Well my momentum slowly began to drift and before I knew it I was having one and two week successes followed by PMO binges. As I slipped more my clean time reduced and my binges increased both in intensity and length. I realized that the 12 step groups were not working for me. Finding this site and reading about Rebooting gives me hope and a tangible goal to works toward. I like the idea of posting and having people comment sometimes within minutes. It makes me feel connected which is basically the opposite of what I feel when I PMO! I’m on day two and feeling good but I know the withdrawals are coming. Also I need an accountability partner or group!
Thanks all