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Introduction

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by pinzinet, Jan 25, 2019.

  1. pinzinet

    pinzinet Fapstronaut

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    hello all!

    Today marks my 1st day of the NoFab journey for me, and I'm quite excited, because I know that I really, really, really need this. I'm ready for all it entails.

    I've been using porn for my entire sexual life – I was shown porn during puberty, and sought out websites regularly ever since. Also, growing up as a gay guy in a mid-western culture, there weren't a lot of other gays to interact with. The gay community in my hometown is quite still small and not overly visible (beyond the one gay bar in the entire city). I think I turned to porn, in part, to see my community. At this time, however, my use of porn wasn't far-gone, despite being regular.

    The hardship began when I moved to my current city, on the other side of the country, away from my friends and family, or any sense of familiarity. The culture here is different – the common language is not english, for example. I felt quite alone, isolated. I still live here and had made things work over the past 7 years – I learned the language, made a few friends, etc – however I had turned to porn to cope with the challenges I was faced with here, which were constant. Over the last couple of years my depression got quite bad. I was suffering from anxiety and isolation. I hardly recognized myself! I used to be quite alive, energetic, positive, social and intensely creative – all key parts of myself that had wilted or disappeared entirely. I've been in therapy every week for 16 months now, and I feel a lot better, however I've come to the realization that my porn habit was, in fact, a porn addiction, and is probably the largest contribution to my depression and anxiety. I feel scarred, honestly, from this addition – and I've gained the courage, now, to confront myself and this problem. I'm ready to lead a different kind of life where I don't feel afraid of myself anymore. I started going to the gym and yoga as my 2 activities that'll help pull me through.

    Anyhow, that's my story! Thanks for reading. I'm excited to be apart of this community and learn from you.
     
  2. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Hello and welcome to the community!

    You may find porn use is more linked to your feelings of loneliness and depression than first blush! (I sure did!). When your brain wants escape from the terrible things it's feeling, porn is there to give you that dopamine hit.
    Best advice I can give: learn to deal with your sh*t - I think you can already see the results with the therapy. Porn will become almost laughable manageable when you treat the things that drive you to it.
     
  3. Retentionman

    Retentionman Fapstronaut

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