Introducing myself, First 10 days!

So, I have more or less PMOed almost every day for the last 10 years of my life. I'm currently 22, so basically since I discovered porn I haven't stopped consuming it. These are the first 10 days that I haven't consumed it since that time. Towards the end of my PMO career, I really started realizing how gross and unnecessary it all was. That was before I even found NoFap and it's community. After watching a few videos on how porn can harm the brain in it's connection-making, and how it can effect mood, it really opened my eyes to a new path on bettering myself. Since I'm diagnosed bipolar, I welcome any new way of managing my emotions more effectively. It wasn't until walking away from an ex that was quite emotionally abusive that I found the motivation to add this habit onto my life. Another factor was that I noticed it took more and more to get an erection and knew it couldn't be good. When I heard PIED was a thing, that was a huge motivation to give it all up. I've read countless philosophy and self help books, and I do a pretty good job of keeping myself active and having a healthy diet, but I never considered porn to be an issue despite using it every day. I just figured it was natural, and that people did this forever, just without porn. Now I realize how naive I was.

In these past 10 days I've experienced several benefits. Some that seem too good to be true considering how few days I'm on now. Serendipitous situations keep popping up, such as people inviting me out to more and more events. I can palpably feel the affection and attention of girls like crazy. Many girls have told me I'm pretty attractive but I never felt that way, and my confidence and self-esteem has always been really low, but now I feel more confident than ever. I feel comfortable flirting. Women seem to want to touch me more, which is always welcomed. I ended up at a party on Saturday and talking to a girl all night, and even asked her out upon leaving the party. She's coming over tomorrow, and then we're going to a local show. People crowded around ME(!!) at that party and would give me compliments (even the dudes), which as NEVER happened before. I've always been supplemental to the party, not THE party itself haha.

My energy level is through the roof. Before, I would go for walks or runs and be exhausted by the end of a 2-3 mile walk, but now I run almost the entire time and after about an hour I'm ready to do another one. I also have started to get into the habit of running daily or at least every other day, which was pretty much impossible before. I've also been using that energy to go out more and do more things with people, which has lead to the parties and events I already mentioned. The abundance of energy has also lead me to want to make a daily routine which I have done a really good job of keeping up on. Mostly involving exercising, meditation and practicing music. Even my voice is noticeably deeper.

It really is insane how much I can focus on little things now, but the biggest thing I've noticed is how much easier it is to get myself to take action on something. I'd think about something I'd want to do and just say "ah, I'll do it later" but now I jump on everything that I can think of that needs to be done. I've thoroughly cleaned my room, including my closet. Reorganized all the wires and clutter in my room making it much more pleasant to look at. I've heard the analogy of your room being a perfect metaphor for how your mind is organized and really took it to heart. Your room may look clean on the surface but your closet might be full of junk and you might throw the clutter in some drawers or in your desk. Just like on the surface your life might look fine, but you aren't taking care of certain things you know you should. I'm really embodying that now. Plugging all the leaks I know I need to fix in my life.

This has all been pretty life changing to me. I've been keeping a tally chart by my desk, and every morning of NoFap after meditation, I've been putting a strike as a little discipline dopamine hit to get the day started. To keep reminding myself of why I'm doing this. It's really helped carry me through all of it. Another thing has been thinking of events that I want to be really energetic at, so if I'm having a big urge I can say "Make it until at least such-and-such day" and then the urges lessen.

I know this is pretty long, but I've just been mindful of so many things that this new found habit has given me, and I hope it inspires new people in some way to keep going!

Thank you for reading!!