1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Intro. @FelixCulpa

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Felix Culpa, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. Felix Culpa

    Felix Culpa Fapstronaut

    9
    7
    3
    Hey NoFap Community!

    Here is my brief introduction of my story. I am a 24-year-old male. I first discovered pornography when I was about eleven years old through my neighborhood friend’s older brother. While spending the night at my place he showed it to us and pressured us to watch it on television. After that I continued watching porn on the same channel - every once and a while staying up late at night to see if I could catch the racy programs. At some point I started performing searches for pornographic pictures after I learned it could be found on the Internet. I discovered masturbation on my own later on in my teenage years.
    At some point I scared myself out of my porn habit for a while. I have no idea how. When I was 18 I picked pornography up again as well as video games (for me video games are very difficult to play in moderation, it is almost always addictive) around the time when some life circumstances when the loss of a community I was a part of created a sense of aimlessness and depression.

    Ever since I first began looking at porn I remember trying not to. I also remember feeling guilty, as if this is something I should hide from people; it has never been something I was “proud” of. I have always had an inner sense that there was something unhealthy, wrong, or “off limits” about it. It has always been a high shame inducing activity for me. The “I’m the only one” or “I’m the unusually broken one” complex is still hard to shake sometimes.

    To my knowledge I have not had a streak longer than 6-8 months since I was 18. I have tried a number of different programs, accountability partners, support groups etc. but nothing has been able to help me to “quit porn for good” yet. I even participated in 12-step groups for a period of time but I was never able to get myself to get on board with the methodology. Feeling powerless is actually the exact opposite of what I need. Anytime something has helped me it has always been because of a boost in my confidence and motivation and a fresh sense of being powerful and in control of my life – able to direct it where I desire. I always left S.A. meetings feeling like people were resigning to their various addictions as a life-long struggle and as a young 24 year old I was destined to follow in their footsteps. I don’t believe porn addiction has to be a life-long thing. “Once a sex-addict always a sex-addict” just wasn’t true for me. I am confident that there will be a time when not looking at porn will kick into habit mode and I will not have to be nearly as vigilant. I look forward to that day.

    Anyway, I am ready to cut ties with all my past attempts to quit porn for good and some of what I consider wrong and unhelpful concepts I picked up along the way.


    I have a tremendous amount of “buy in” for NoFap’s methods, which focus on confidence, motivation, will power and living an awesome life. That last part has always been missing in all of the programs I tried. I am also pumped to be in conversation with all of you and hear your insights while also being supportive of you!

    I want the reward of self-mastery and the confidence that comes with knowing I don’t have to look at porn. I also want the joy there is in learning delayed gratification. That can help me do all of the other things I want for my life like learning languages, exercise, and finishing college – things that require repetitive daily disciplines with outcomes I wont see immediately but are incredibly worth it.

    Look forward to running with all of you!

    @Feliculpa
     
    OddTheOodle and JoeinMD like this.
  2. BranNuMe

    BranNuMe Fapstronaut

    27
    4
    3
    Welcome bro!!! It's great that you have such a logical handle on things at such a young age. Most of us don't get it until our penis have restrictions and it's truly starting to affect our everyday lives. Congratulations on the first step man!!!
     
  3. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

    6,380
    3,038
    143
    Welcome! I'm glad you're here.

    I think you'll find a lot of help here, and I hope you won't be reticent to ask for help. We're all here to help each other.

    Also -- for what it's worth...I won't try to convince you to like or use the 12 step programs; but I've been part of them and this site, and while there are certainly differences, they can be complementary. You may find that true for yourself, in time.
     

Share This Page