Intro and first time I almost got into a real fight

Hi, I will be talking about my life, and this journal is mostly for me to look and reflect at in the near future. To give a background, I am a senior in high school in California. I am writing this 9 days before my 18th birthday, which I am very excited for, I will finally get to have my own freedom!

What I do have to say about Nofap is that I feel like it's actually working, I feel like I would've been less confident and more anxious if I had continued to fap all the time, I mean it does spike your dopamine like crazy. Sometimes I have too much energy and that honestly just ends up being annoying for other people I have realized, they are sometimes, but not always, all grumpy and not social for the most part, I usually feel like I'm the one that's always initiating the conversations, and sometimes I get called weird because of the energy I have, or it could be because I'm just unique, who knows, and who gives a fuck anyways.

I am writing this just before spring break, today was a minimum day and it was pretty chill, however today was also very hectic. First I had an English presentation, which I didn't do so bad on, actually got the whole class to laugh which was enlightening for me, and I had to kiss someone's fucking shoe lmao --> so how that happened is a long story. First let me say that I am so deep into improving myself from my physicality to mentality, I recently started to literally say hi to everyone and spark a conversation, I am preparing myself for the future, and because of that, I messed with the wrong person. There was this girl named Shelb, I came up to her during lunch in the cafeteria and I said "was up, do you have a boyfriend", she responded "yes", and I proceeded to tell her that I thought she was beautiful, and I would've asked for her number, and she had also told me she was a freshman, so that was a def no go. So, me being the stupid fuck I am, I went up to her again a minute after because we just so happened to be near her and fucked around by saying that my friend wants your number, so I was just messing with her and laughed it off, she prob got butthurt or something and I remember her taking a picture of me. By the way, this just happened a few days ago like on Tuesday. So the next day, Wednesday, a group of "goons" had approached me, one of them was like an Asian kid, a white kid, and an Armenian and they really thought they were the shit lmao. I was deadass about the fight all three of them, I put my food trey down but quickly remembered that I had got into a fight in ninth grade with this kid named Richard, I won btw. I thought about all my colleges and that if I made that stupid decision right there, I would've had no future and my life would've been in shambles, all for some girl, so I was like hell nah. The Asian kid made me talk to this guy named Joel, which was the boyfriend of the girl, and told me he was gonna beat my ass, I told him that I was gonna apologize cause I really didn't know. But the reason he probably got really made was because I think some of the people told him that I was sexually assaulting her by grabbing her arm or some bull shit, which never fucking happened and never will. So, he told me to meet him on a street where all the armos hang out, and I apologized, and I had to kneel on my knees and kiss his shoes(but I didn't really kiss his shoes, I wrapped my fingers in an o shape and really just kissed some air, he didn't see tho).

Now that I wrote all that, I feel like taking a massive dump right now, but first I gotta tell ya'll that I'm going to a party today, it'll be my first party(caleb), so cya!

 

Thanks g for actually reading my post