Not a landmark legal case, but a train of thought I've been having. Trigger warning To cut what otherwise would be a very long ramble short, for me, sex is about initimacy and orgasm is a frequent pleasant bi-product, not the end goal. Spoiler: Trigger warning Most men find it relatively easy to orgasm. We are designed to a fairly basic pattern - stimulation applied directly to our eager member and Bob's your uncle. Men expect to orgasm at the end of sexual encounters with a partner (or indeed without one); that's how they define 'the end'. Proud rigidity becomes sticky flacidity and that's it, show's over, move on, nothing to see. Mr Floppy is not much use for anything, so time to quit and do something else. It is a small step from there to the mindset that has the orgasm as the end-goal of sex. After all, orgasms are great and who doesn't like to cum?? Porn strips any intimacy out of the equation and reinforces this goal-oriented view of sex. I find my wife incredibly attractive. And one of the benefits of being together more than 30 years is that she knows my every like and dislike and can play my body like a skilled musician. To put it bluntly, she can bring me to orgasm as quickly or as slowly as she wants, whenever she wants. But for me, making love to her is not about 'getting off', it is about enjoying the journey every much as the final destination. It is the intimacy with her which simultaneously soothes my soul AND gets the pulse racing. It is the joy of the slow kiss, the skin on skin contact and appreciating every curve of her body, her taste, and her intoxicating aroma. I love stimulating her in as many ways as I can think of and helping her climb slowly up the plateau. I love the intimacy that comes from love and trust. I love the fact that she shares every part of her wonderful body with me as an act of love. And to me when she orgasms from my tongue, that is the most intimate, perfect act of all. And that is what led me to write this ramble. The last two times we made love were both wonderful experiences that I recall with great pleasure, and I didn't orgasm either time. Both finished in the same way. After half an hour of love making, my wife came with my face buried happily between her legs. Then we snuggled, a tangle of warm limbs wrapped around each other. She was totally relaxed and spent and I felt spiritually fulfilled and gloriously happy from the experience of being at the epicentre of her pleasure. Though she offered to reciprocate - to give me the expected 'happy ending' - I declined. Yes I was still horny and erect, but at that moment, I didn't want to break the spell and was just as happy to hold her and look at her as she closed her eyes and drifted into a contented sleep. So initmacy vs orgasm? Ideally both! But if I can only have one, I choose intimacy every time.