Intercourse with Girlfriend while rebooting?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Perision, Mar 21, 2019.

Will this cause a delay in recovery?

  1. Yes, it will cause a major delay

    1 vote(s)
    10.0%
  2. Will cause a slight delay

    2 vote(s)
    20.0%
  3. No, it will cause no delays and help brain recover receptors

    7 vote(s)
    70.0%
  1. Perision

    Perision New Fapstronaut

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    In the midst of a reboot right now from porn. Decided to stop watching and masterbating due to it taking me a long time to ejaculate, upwards of 30-45 minutes; usually only achievable from receiving a handjob. I believe my brain is not used to other stimuli to the penis, such as sexual intercourse, and I numbed my receptors.
    I’m wondering if having sexual intercourse and other sexual activities (Handjob, Blowjob, etc.) with my long-term girlfriend will cause a delay in my recovery or if it will help my brain recognize and “learn” new stimulations. Any one else experience this? What were your results?
     
  2. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    I dobt it will affect your recovery, I think it will probably help, real human partner engages your body in a completely different way. However do not expect to heave healthy sexual response, you may have issues reaching orgasm or just net enjoying some activities as much as you thought you would. So make sure your partner will understand and support you, talking about it beforehand is probably good idea.
     
    Perision likes this.
  3. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    In my humble opinion, yes and no. Having a gf means someone is there for you, but I can't imagine the transition from porn to a real partner to be smooth and fast. I mean, we (porn addicts) get used to stare at a monitor, all alone in the dark, not giving a thought to anything but the immediate pleasure.

    The best advice I have is to give intercourse a break (and I mean, a 100+ days break), and instead try stuff like cuddling, holding hands and stuff. Sounds effeminate and everything but, people doesn't get addicted to porn in just one day, so getting a healthy relationship with sex will take more than just one day too.
     
  4. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    Taking break has specific purpose - it restores sensitivity. Massive doses of dopamine from addictive behaviors make other activities much less rewarding, because sensitivity is very low. Removing addictive behavior forces the brain to increase sensitivity because it is no longer getting sufficient stimulation in absence of addictive behavior. This lack of stimulation also causes depression.
    It makes sense to completely remove sex related behaviors only if they do not offer significant enjoyment, then, having few weeks off may help rapidly recover sensitivity and sex will be enjoyable again.

    Trying to go hardcore and avoid natural sex at the time when person is already depressed is unrealistically difficult even for a healthy adult, expecting 100 days off someone recovering from addiction, is pretty much impossible.
    Quality sex is one of the best things you can do to support positive mood and motivate you, and if you enjoy it, do not abuse it and feel safe - do it. Sex is also about bonding your partner, trust and allot of other important things.
     
    Perision likes this.
  5. Morolto

    Morolto Fapstronaut

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    I have kind of a piggybacking question to go with the OP.

    I also have a girlfriend who has been super understanding. Can I at least perform cunnilingus on her during my reboot? Or how high are my chances of that setting me back?
     
  6. Theamos

    Theamos Fapstronaut

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    I feel and this is just my opinion that any pmo should be avoided during reset
    Performing on her maybe but I have never know myself to stop after that
     
  7. Morolto

    Morolto Fapstronaut

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    I love going down on my girlfriend. Maybe it sounds backwards but for me personally I feel so emotionally connected to her when I do it, and I feel so focused on getting her off that I don't even have the urge to get myself off. Does that help anybody answer my question?
     
    Theamos likes this.
  8. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    I think an initial short reboot with no sex is good just to give your penis a break and give it a chance to heal. But after 3-4 weeks i think good romantic sex with a real woman is only going to help you. Nature intended it this way, its what your body is built for and i think its a very healthy thing to do. The only thing i would suggest is to just stick with vaginal sex as if she has to give you a rough handjob to orgasm you wont regain your sensitivity. Also if you cant orgasm from her vagina dont worry, just enjoy the moment and the feeling and if its not going to happen it doesnt matter, after only having vaginal sex your brain will eventually learn how to orgasm naturally again.
     
    drkarim and Morolto like this.
  9. Morolto

    Morolto Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Shy! So just to clarify you think I should completely leap over just cunninlingus? My girlfriend can get me to 70-80% hard pretty easily but not above that.

    Sorry for hijacking this thread this will be the last time mods
     
  10. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    70-80% is enough to insert into her. Have sex to make love, not to orgasm. Get inside her, kiss her, hold her and just enjoy being close. If you don't orgasm it doesnt matter. The sex is an act of love and you dont need to orgasm or be rock hard to express that.
     
    Morolto and Theamos like this.

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