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insomnia

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Legion7, Feb 27, 2018.

  1. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    I see my friends occasionally, haven't had the energy to work out, but do yard work, walk, ride the bike etc. I WAS lifting weights up until a few weeks ago. I have trouble recovering after a workout because of the insomnia.

    Even when I was PMO I still made love to my wife a few times a week. I'm hoping that I won't flatline because of this. I've never had ED or anything so I have my fingers crossed.
     
    xeon1993 likes this.
  2. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    I'm working on a buddies car tomorrow all day and clearing a piece of property I bought with a tractor and some friends so that will be good. Today I will sit in the sun, and watch a few movies. Tomorrow will be a better day...
     
    xeon1993 likes this.
  3. xeon1993

    xeon1993 Fapstronaut

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    Thats great mate, if you can meet your friends. Have hobby etc. Keep it that way, consider yourself happy!

    I might repeat, but I don't see the way of recovery without flatline more or less depending of state, how long addiction, how it made impact on life. Depends of your lifestyle, mindset, how active or lonely you are etc.

    Do you see yourself happy, when fixing cars? Do you have a happy state when you eat something tasty? Do you see small things nearby and just feel pure hapiness for them?

    Back to topic, drain yourself out and you might just drop dead when in bed, lol. Otherwise, you seem like a healthy man.

    What are you thinking of, when laying in bed in a state of insomnia? Is it just pure emptyness, fantasies, work?
     
  4. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks again to you guys. Got me through a rough morning. I can't express my gratitude enough. It means a great deal to me that people are willing to step in. I hope I can do the same for someone else. I don't know how to message but am willing to try.

    I am very happy. Beautiful wife, two great little boys, really good, caring friends. I retired at 45, which was part of my problem. Too much time on my hands...

    I find pleasure in the beauty of the world, and working on my cars is very cathartic. I also dabble in photography.

    When I lay in bed it's like laying in the center lane of the freeway. Nothing in particular, I just can't shut down. I have read a lot of research that says my insomnia is due to several chemicals that are lacking. It's just going to take time.
     
    xeon1993 likes this.
  5. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    Monarch and Xeon hit it on the head about insomnia. Thanks guys
     
  6. xeon1993

    xeon1993 Fapstronaut

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    Basically, healthy man with family, wife, hobbies and passion, friends, without ED problems and always ready, no fantasizing before sleep and having struggle with sleeping at night. Damn, it confuses me.

    Give it a time. Breathe fresh air, be outside, read a book, workout (!). In every single time you have free from your responsibilities.

    You didn't tell us about your background. Your addiction. How often, for how long.
     
  7. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    On and off for 30 years, then my family, mother, father, sister and 2 friends all died in the last few years, and I began coping with PMO. Had horrible kidney stone and pancreatitis last month, and since I was already 10 days without PMO, just kept going. Also quit gaming 6 hours a day. I am working on reconnecting to real life.
     
  8. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    I have reread your post several times. It's helped, along with others. I smile every time I read "neurochemical landscape" because it makes me think that right now my brain is more like "scorched earth" than a landscape!
     
  9. Monarch77

    Monarch77 Fapstronaut

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    Glad I could help. "Scorched earth" ya, that's about it. Even now that I'm past the worst (I hope?), I still wake up feeling just not right or anxious for no reason. Knowing why it's happening is the only thing that kept me grounded enough to push through. For that reason I'm very grateful for your brain on porn's articles on dopamine and nuerochemistry while rebalancing. I've noticed spending time outside, especially in sunlight, has helped my circadian rhythm do sort of a "reset", so hopefully that'll help.
     
  10. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    Laid in the sun today for an hour. C'mon melatonin!
     
  11. xeon1993

    xeon1993 Fapstronaut

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    I really feel sorry for your loss. That is wonderful that you fight, though! Regain connection (like in full spectrum) with your family. And, indeed, force yourself against games - it doesn't help anybody. Live your life. Be happy. Read books. Take some time practising calming down your mind before sleep. If it doesn't help you that much, consider training. But, please, stay off the medicines. Your only medicine is your mind you live with. Peace with you!
     
  12. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the words of encouragement. I DID take 22.5mg of Tamazepam last night. After 4 nights of 3-4 hours of sleep I just had to. Got 6-6.5 hours. At 0500 I woke up, wanted to sleep more but just laid there for 2 more hours. I will continue to fight but the lack of sleep was/is wearing me down. I hope you are doing well in your journey as well. May you have peace as well! My friends will be here soon to entertain me so I will check in later.
     
    xeon1993 likes this.
  13. I've had insomnia for as long as I can remember. Imo, the only way to cure insomnia is to address those underlying problems that are holding you back from true happiness. This has been the case with me anyway. I feel like if I don't fix whats troubling me, my mind will always wake me up in the middle of the night to remind me that something isn't right.
     
    xeon1993 and Vulkan like this.
  14. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    So, woke up this morning urinating blood. Turns out what I thought was a pulled muscle waz a kidney stone. I don't know if I've passed it or not, but I can honestly say my anxiety etc is back in full force. Part of me is wondering if I might die. I still haven't slept well. Maybe 4 hours last night. I am physically and mentally done. If I survive this I will celebrate. My journey started 31 days ago with a kidney stone, so this is #2. They think it's only 3mm so I pray it's already gone. They didn't want to xray because I had 2 CT scans last month. I am truly in hell. Horrible withdrawals and insomnia, kidney stone. What next?
     
  15. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    You worry too much. You won't die from kidney stones. You have to come to agreement with yourself, that we are mere mortal beings. ZeroHedge - on a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero :) Today you're OK, tomorrow you could be diagnosed with brain tumor. I've seen it too many times. That's way I try to be grateful and enjoy being OK today, you never know what tomorrow brings. We're only passing guests on planet Earth, hoping to witness what, if anything, lies beyond the horizon.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2018
  16. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    It's the lovely anxiety. You are right, for sure. I said "screw it" last night, slept for 5 hours straight, then 1 then 2. Drank a lot of water for the kidney stone so had to get up to whiz. That's the first time in a month I have seen 5 hours straight, no sleeping meds, and the first time at all for 8. Maybe at 32 days I'm headed up instead kf down. I know it won't be a straight line, but forward is forward. One hour at a time, one day at a time.
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  17. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    Just passed the stone. 5mm. Back to my "regular" withdrawals...

    Thanks guys for being there. I'm trying to return the favor for others.

    One hour at a time, one day at a time.
     
  18. DaBauce97

    DaBauce97 Fapstronaut

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    Hi man, have you thought of seeing a therapist abaout your insomnia issues if it happens to be PMO related. There also might be other underlying issues that you may have left unaddressed which could contribute to insomnia. Just a suggestion , if you're coping fine then its all well.
     
  19. Legion7

    Legion7 Fapstronaut

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    Been seeing a therapist for a while now. Got my PTSD under control and was doing pretty well, maybe a 9 out of 10. I got pancreatitis and a nasty kidney stone mid Feb, and basically said to myself "since I've been PMO/video game/social media free for 10 days (because of the internal stuff) I'm just going to stop it all". About 4 days later withdrawals hit. I have to admit my ignorance, because for a week I had absolutely no idea that it was pmo withdrawal. I thought I was just finally losing it. I stumbled onto NoFAP and Reboot Nation, and then found some vids on the subject. I actually blurted out to myself "holy crap, I'm in withdrawals!". I am finally starting to sleep again (day 33) but it has been rough. I feel like I'm finally turning a corner. I have no doubt that nasty withdrawals are 100% behind all of this. I have been checked for EVERYTHING over the last month, blood, urine, endocrine, urology etc. My therapist has worked with quite a few pmo addicted men. I am pretty much a textbook case except no flatline (yet, at least).
     
    DaBauce97 likes this.
  20. DaBauce97

    DaBauce97 Fapstronaut

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    Seems you're making progress! We cant control the tragic events of life but we can decide how we would want to respond to it. I myself lost my dad 3 months ago to an accident. Well, theres no signs of trauma yet i decided to go to therapy because i decided "enough is enough, my dad is no longer around i have to man up". In a sense, my dad's passing was sorta wake up call for me. Anyway, all the best and keep fighting!
     

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