Insight: Be very careful of how you use NOFAP

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Sovereign Soul, Jan 24, 2019.

  1. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Hey there fellas,

    Little bit about me: Been trying to quit for 3 years now, with some okay streaks (~80 days) and many many short ones (<10 days). As 2019 approached, I made the commitment to never watch porn again, and established a bunch of new, and infinitely more fruitful habits (waking up daily before dawn, exercising daily, eating little to no sugar, reading and meditating more). I also installed a bunch of porn blockers not only on my PC and phone, but every PC in the house I currently live in, with passwords being hard to memorize long strings of digits stored away in a storage locker far away from me. It is virtually impossible to watch or see P on my devices now (even naughty subreddits and other similar sites are filtered). Safe to say that I have a very good feeling that this streak will be the catalyst for greatness in my life (I'm already feeling the benefits).

    While meditating the other day a random insight came into my mind. It was the fact that I needed to be honest to myself and realize that browsing the Nofap site and subreddit can be dangerous. Don't get me wrong, I think Nofap is a great resource and I have nothing but gratitude for its founders and solidarity for its members. I think that as recovering addict (in my case both PMO and sex addiction), some of the forum sections on the site, notably 'Porn Addiction' and 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' can be dangerous to browse as some of the posts might help you remember, visualize and sometimes even fantasize the very scenarios or fetishes you're trying to let go of. This has happened to me many times. I would be having a very good streak, but a particular post in which an old fetish of mine is mentioned would plant seeds of remembrance into my consciousness, and sometimes while reading I would literally visualize scenes or scenarios, effectively remembering the porn i'm very much trying to forget. I even feel the dopamine rush on some occasions, and will sometimes have a wet dream the very night after the incident. Think of it like an alcohol addict watching other people getting drunk, daily.

    Now, I'm not calling for the censorship of people for the sake of not triggering anybody who's too weak to handle stuff like this. I'm already aware that the forum has a spoiler/trigger warning feature for posts. I'm also aware that we all have willpower that we can use in situations like this. I'm just advocating for a more responsible use of the forums by individuals struggling. The mind is one hell of a tricky thing and once starved from what it valued the most, will do what it can to find the closest substitute. Use Nofap responsibly. By this I mean:

    1. Do not visit or read specific posts in the 'Porn Addiction' and 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' section just for the sake of reading people's stories and remembering, visualizing or even fantasizing your own fetishes and addictions.

    2. Focus more on the large amount of positive stories and proactive challenges in the 'Success Stories' and 'Rebooting'.

    3. When posting, or commenting do so with a specific goal. Either to ask for help, to give help, to seek information or to inform. (Case in point I literally came across a post once where the OP and commentators were talking about their ability to do auto-fellatio/self-suck...)

    4. Think of the possibility that true recovery will one day involve distancing yourself from Nofap and similar sites. You can't expect genuine change if you willingly hold on to the dynamics of your troubled past (in my humble opinion). At some point the days counter, the pmo-relapse cycle and other concepts should be forgotten as you emancipate yourself and seek to live your newfound life.

    I hope this was understandable and not too verbose. Looking forward to your thoughts
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2019
  2. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

    43
    90
    18
    Hey there fellas,

    Little bit about me: Been trying to quit for 3 years now, with some okay streaks (~80 days) and many many short ones (<10 days). As 2019 approached, I made the commitment to never watch porn again, and established a bunch of new, and infinitely more fruitful habits (waking up daily before dawn, exercising daily, eating little to no sugar, reading and meditating more). I also installed a bunch of porn blockers not only on my PC and phone, but every PC in the house I currently live in, with passwords being hard to memorize long strings of digits stored away in a storage locker far away from me. It is virtually impossible to watch or see P on my devices now (even naughty subreddits and other similar sites are filtered). Safe to say that I have a very good feeling that this streak will be the catalyst for greatness in my life (I'm already feeling the benefits).

    While meditating the other day a random insight came into my mind. It was the fact that I needed to be honest to myself and realize that browsing the Nofap site and subreddit can be dangerous. Don't get me wrong, I think Nofap is a great resource and I have nothing but gratitude for its founders and solidarity for its members. I think that as recovering addict (in my case both PMO and sex addiction), some of the forum sections on the site, notably 'Porn Addiction' and 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' can be dangerous to browse as some of the posts might help you remember, visualize and sometimes even fantasize the very scenarios or fetishes you're trying to let go of. This has happened to me many times. I would be having a very good streak, but a particular post in which an old fetish of mine is mentioned would plant seeds of remembrance into my consciousness, and sometimes while reading I would literally visualize scenes or scenarios, effectively remembering the porn i'm very much trying to forget. I even feel the dopamine rush on some occasions, and will sometimes have a wet dream the very night after the incident. Think of it like an alcohol addict watching other people getting drunk, daily.

    Now, I'm not calling for the censorship of people for the sake of not triggering anybody who's too weak to handle stuff like this. I'm already aware that the forum has a spoiler/trigger warning feature for posts. I'm also aware that we all have willpower that we can use in situations like this. I'm just advocating for a more responsible use of the forums by individuals struggling. The mind is one hell of a tricky thing and once starved from what it valued the most, will do what it can to find the closest substitute. Use Nofap responsibly. By this I mean:

    1. Do not visit or read specific posts in the 'Porn Addiction' and 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' section just for the sake of reading people's stories and remembering, visualizing or even fantasizing your own fetishes and addictions.

    2. Focus more on the large amount of positive stories and proactive challenges in the 'Success Stories' and 'Rebooting'.

    3. When posting, or commenting do so with a specific goal. Either to ask for help, to give help, to seek information or to inform. (Case in point I literally came across a post once where the OP and commentators were talking about their ability to do auto-fellatio/self-suck...)

    4. Think of the possibility that true recovery will one day involve distancing yourself from Nofap and similar sites. You can't expect genuine change if you willingly hold on to the dynamics of your troubled past (in my humble opinion). At some point the days counter, the pmo-relapse cycle and other concepts should be forgotten as you emancipate yourself and seek to live your newfound life.

    I hope this was understandable and not too verbose. Looking forward to your thoughts
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2019
  3. DarkWarrior98

    DarkWarrior98 Fapstronaut

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    Nice advice man!

    That's very truthful, some threads could be potential triggers, it will be better to read this kind of threads once we are at least a little bit recovered to don't relapse

    Thanks for sharing with us!

    Keep Strong
     
    Sovereign Soul likes this.
  4. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    This type of deep thinking is valuable to each one of us.
    Digging deep into our minds and our motivations is helpful and healing.
    The fact that you figured this out for yourself is a job well done.
    Good luck with your reboot — I wish you the very best success.
     
    Sovereign Soul likes this.
  5. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, this is an active thread at the moment and I see no problem with it. Neither do the moderation team by the way. You should have excluded yourself from reading it based on the title. We have to take responsibility @Sovereign Soul.
     
    Sovereign Soul likes this.
  6. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Glad you read and definitely agree here. Visiting them while on the verge could be dangerous.
     
  7. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. Wish you the best as well!
     
  8. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Indeed following this post's logic, I should have not clicked on it based on what I wrote here but this thought came after I've encountered that thread a couple of days ago. Again, I do not advocate censorship in any way in this post. I argue that we must be aware of the implicit reasons why we browse this site and the potential 'triggering' effect of some threads on one's ability to effectively reboot. The last thing I want here is for people seeking help with their addiction or behavior to be censored or banned because their posts may be too 'triggering' for some. At the end of the day we are responsible for what we click on and ultimately, how we deal with our problem(s).
     
  9. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Thanks!!
     
  10. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I agree.
     
    Sovereign Soul likes this.
  11. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    It is important to use an accurate titles for your post. Although it might trigger some, it does give fair warning about what is being discussed.
    On a side note - If you are starting a conversation with another member, best to be discreet in your title as it might show up in their normal email. It is a little tough explaining why I am getting an email titled Self Suck, and it is not going to my spam folder. I know I can turn off notifications but I find they are helpful if I am not checking the site all the time.
     
    Sovereign Soul likes this.
  12. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Very good point. I purposely moved my Nofap account from my primary/work email to my secondary one because of this. I was getting too many detailed subjects and anyone watching my activity would be quick to judge at first glance. Titling posts correctly helps a lot. If I see a post that involves a fetish of mine in the title I either avoid it or mentally prepare myself to not seek pleasure or fantasies from reading it.
     
  13. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    Smart man. I feel you have to be in the right mindset when coming to this site. Trying to overcome porn/sex addiction is hard work but you have to be focused on recovery or you are setting yourself up to be distracted by every little trigger/urge/whim
     
    Sovereign Soul likes this.
  14. barteljaap

    barteljaap Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the advice! I think reading 'risky' threads are not worth it anyway, it is as if you are planting bad seeds that are just waiting to grow. Succes stories often cheer me up and give me fresh energy to fight.
     
    Sovereign Soul and Blue Gemini like this.
  15. Aware

    Aware Fapstronaut

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    Great post. You are right on the money with all in your post, especially this.

    Sort of related to your topic about how you use the forum, and being brand new here, there is one thing I cant understand.

    The prevailing (by a wide margin) strategy to reboot is brute force, thats it. just brute force brother, fight thru it for XX days.

    There are pretty well understood and agreed science/ studies (general addiction not porn specific... but almost directly correlates) that
    solely trying to brute force an addiction actually makes it worse. Sudden withdraw of Dopamine in the brain creates extra anxiety, fear, stress from the Limbic part of brain which leads to Fight or Flight type panic.

    In the New Forum, there is rarely any advice on what to do other than fight it out amongst all the "OMG Help me now")

    Mediation that you bring up above is like a super food to help get your brain right. I havent seen this brought up once in any "OMG Help Me" threads yet. There are other very well understood methods to reboot.

    Using those methods, I stopped P five days ago after PMO everyday for a year+. I have thought about porn less and when I do the cravings/urges fade quickly. Very little effort on my part.

    I just let the chemistry in my brain do it. After all, that is what got me into this mess in the first place.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2019
    Sovereign Soul likes this.
  16. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Exactly...a constant lingering of thoughts, scenarios and ideas regarding relapses, acting out and fetishes doesn't sound beneficial to the reboot process.
     
  17. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    Glad you appreciate! completely agree.
     
  18. UnyieldingAntiHero

    UnyieldingAntiHero Fapstronaut

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    Nofap.com is like a hospital. It's great to have around when you are ill (PMO-addiction) but stay around too long(mindless browsing on the site) and chances are you will catch a germ(relapse).
    Don't stay inside the hospital all day. get some fresh air. work out. live life. and come back for the occasional checkup.
    In other words, limit your daily time expenditure on the site.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2019
  19. Sovereign Soul

    Sovereign Soul Fapstronaut

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    very good analogy! I agree.
     

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