hi there This is my first post. I am 22 and have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months now. I have always been the one to initiate sex and after about a month of us dating he started going soft during sex. He would say that it was because we have had it so much he has had no time to rest or recharge. So I waited and would get impatient and would initiate things again and it would just cause us to fight. He would say that I have an abnormally high sex drive and that he is normal. I started to see pictures of half naked girls on his phone and his Instagram that he would follow. I confronted him and he just said “I like women but I come home to you don’t I? It made me feel really insecure. Like I was everything he wanted in a relationships except sexually I wasn’t enough. Finally I told him let’s go a week without doing anything to ourselves while I was out of town and when I get back it will be great. So I did....but he didn’t. I got home and he said he only jerked off once while i was gone and it wasn’t to porn. So we tried to have sex and he could stay hard. So I started to feel like it was my fault and get self conscious. Then he told me that he lied and he jacked off almost everyday and it was to porn. I was in tears and I was so mad that he lied. We got into a huge fight and he got defensive saying he didn’t have a problem. We dropped the subject for a while and he started following half naked women on Instagram again and I snapped. I told him to made me feel that I wasn’t enough for him sexually. That every time we have sex I am rarely facing him. He mainly has me facing the other way as if he doesn’t want to see my face or be reminded he is having sex with me. He admitted he has a problem and started the nofap thing. He is trying really hard but now he is never horny. He pushes me away when I try to have sex and I get jealous anytime he is around another attractive female wondering if that’s the kind of face or body that would get him going if I can’t. I’m hurting and I feel like I’m not enough and so inadequate. I know he loves me and he isn’t pulling away in any other instance. We talk and we laugh and cuddle in bed but I’m just starting to feel like I’m the intellectual relationship that he loves but that sexually he wants something or someone else. It’s just really started to take its toll on my self esteem.