Initial Enthusiasm Worn Off

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by evanbook03, Apr 3, 2019.

  1. evanbook03

    evanbook03 Fapstronaut

    Hey all,
    I'm on day 13 of normal mode (though it's been hard mode, actually, as while I'm open to healthy sex with my wife she's not in the mood with her pregnancy). Anyway, I've been going strong for the most part. This is my first streak with nofap, and I'm proud of the progress I've made so far. What I'm struggling with is that the initial enthusiasm I felt seems to be fading. I feel like I've stopped for now, but the urges seem to be getting stronger, and I haven't started feeling a lot of benefits yet. When I set out, I don't think I had a clear goal in mind as to how long I wanted to go, what exactly I was trying to achieve aside from healthier sexuality. I know I want to give up porn for good, but I'm not sure what a realistic expectation is in regard to healthy (?) masturbation later on, or what an indication would be that I'm prepared to reintroduce masturbation without porn. I'm also not sure about the topic of fantasy. I can't personally see masturbation without having some form of fantasy in my head, which from reading on here, seems like it could be just as detrimental as porn.

    Anyway, thanks for reading, looking for any advice or encouragement.
  2. blazer72

    blazer72 Fapstronaut

    Good work man. Keep it up. Make note of what causes the urges or what triggers you. It will help you make a plan for dealing with them. I did not have a goal when I started either, so I picked 30 days arbitrarily. I felt a little let down like you did after a little while, but now I am looking forward to hitting my goal. Good luck.
    evanbook03 likes this.
  3. jack_of_spades

    jack_of_spades Fapstronaut

    That sounds tough, man.
    Has your wife expressed what her expectations are during the pregnancy? Is she expecting you to abstain from sex together for the whole pregnancy?
  4. evanbook03

    evanbook03 Fapstronaut

    No, and we've had sex during the pregnancy, she's almost to term so she's just dealing with a lot of physical diacomfort lately. And after she gives birth obviously she'll be unavailable during her recovery.
  5. jack_of_spades

    jack_of_spades Fapstronaut

    Ah I see. That sounds better, but it still sounds tough.
    Fantasies from my own imagination have been my kryptonite for as long as I have been doing MO; in fact, the urge to fantasize about my SO was so strong for me earlier today that I ended up giving in and lost my streak today. Or maybe it was just the strong urge to have an orgasm that I couldn't have achieved without the fantasy.
    I guess that's the problem I have with fantasy. I'm addicted to orgasm and so I start with fantasy to get hard enough to masturbate. However, it's happened lots for me where fantasies, even increasingly twisted ones, plus masturbation aren't enough to keep me hard, and I go limp in my own hand. And so I need a little "help" with porn, and then with steady use of course that escalates too.
    I need to stay away from fantasy. I don't know if you do too.
  6. evanbook03

    evanbook03 Fapstronaut

    I think I need to, at least for now anyway. Maybe I'm wrong but to me it seems rather impossible to masturbate without fantasy of some sort. Idk if anyone can just think of nothing while doing it. If I was just fantasizing about my wife, I wouldn't see an issue, but at least right now my mind goes to really dirty stuff that just would perpetuate my addiction.
    starsky2 likes this.
  7. jack_of_spades

    jack_of_spades Fapstronaut

    I think my experience is similar to yours: I'm either fantasizing something of my own imagination, or fantasizing to the porn I was looking at, in order to achieve orgasm.
    I imagine if I was actually having sex with my wife and my mind was healthy, no fantasy would be required to achieve orgasm.

    CORAZZON Fapstronaut

    I think the best thing would be to use this time to improve yourself and work on becoming free from PMO. Imagine how much more happier and focused you would be with your new family the next few months if you weren't trying to fit in time to PMO also.

    It wont be easy, of course, you'll be fighting the urges and it may seem like "just a little" won't hurt while your wife is in recovery, but keep looking forward!

    I wish I could of taken my own advice about a year ago when my son was born, but instead I fell deeper into PMO, which led me to cheat on my girlfriend at the time during her final term and recovery months. It's a horrible feeling, especially when I came clean about it with her.

    That feeling of losing your enthusiasm is just normal man, the urges to PMO are going to get stronger, the will to continue your streak will start going away to the point your brain is telling you that PMOing is what you need. But it's not! Fight it brother, fight it for your wife and child to come. Fight it for the happiness of you and your family.
    evanbook03 and CoolBuddy7 like this.

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