im trying my best !

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by ryyyouxx_, Sep 23, 2018.

  1. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

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    Day 8

    exams are over, but im still so busy! I have a school-camp thingy next week so I might not be so active!

    I'm back to day 8! today was really normal? i went to school, went out to celebrate my friend's birthday!

    i think I've been keeping distracted alot, which is a good thing! I'm determined to beat my highscore >:)

    when i get urges, i usually stay in bed and read a book ! or maybe I go for a run ( which I don't do often because im lazy :p )

    i think the main reasons for my relaspes are having nothing to do. like being really bored, that's why I try to fill my day with intresting things! it helps being distracted too!

    I hope everyone is having a good day!
     
  2. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    Unstructured time is a big problem for all addicts. @FlyingPizza has an excellent example of time structure on her Journal. Go check it out.
     
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  3. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    The exams are not exactly a great time of year, huh?

    But I'm liking how you've been spending your time though! Have a good one! :)
     
    ryyyouxx_ likes this.
  4. Hey I just read through your journal & its fine to just let out your feelings & thoughts without giving much importance to how its structured !! We're here for recovery thats what matters!! :) Do not hesitate to reach out, its good you stay busy, now that your exams are over & congrats for doing good in most of them, you have time to read new books isnt it ? Read, hangout with friends, be in the nature & build yourself !! You're doing great, dont focus much on numbers though.. That can make you anxious sometimes, focus on the progress however small it is, in the forward direction!! Even though we may fall sometimes thats okay, staying down isn't okay.. Rising up & keep moving forward is wise thing to do !! Cheers, good luck, God Bless You & Your family :)
     
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  5. Jeddo

    Jeddo Fapstronaut

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    Hey @ryyyouxx_, glad you are doing okay! I agree, it is definitely bored-ness that makes the strongest urges. That has definitely been my main struggle this past week.

    Wishing you best!
     
    ryyyouxx_ likes this.
  6. willoWisp

    willoWisp Fapstronaut

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    I look at journaling on here kind of like going to an AA meeting. Sharing is always optional but always encouraged. Less, more, the only important thing is that you open up. Even if just a little bit. If that helps you with the whole not knowing what to write thing.

    Hope all's going well!
     
  7. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

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    Day 0

    hey! woah, it's been awhile. I've been so busy these past days. but im free, finally lol. aaannnnd that was the reason for this relaspe. I had a few relaspes over the time.

    it's been a emotional rollercoaster for me these few weeks. personal issues and things.

    sometimes, at night I think, " will I actually be able to get over my addiction? " honestly, sometimes i really wonder, granted, I've read alot of success stories.
    but it's hard to think if ill ever get over this.

    it's the same feeling after every relaspe I have, this pang in my heart, and a feeling of disgust.

    I'm definelty going to be way more active. :p

    I hope everyone is having a good day! sorry for the somewhat really short entry!
     
  8. GSW9

    GSW9 Fapstronaut

    Hey 1st of all, its okay to fall, we all do, we're humans after all.. But its not okay to stay down.. I'm glad you choose to coninue fighting no matter what !! It takes alot of courage to start again!! Cheers & good luck on your new streak!! I hope things get better !! You will have a success story one day, just keep going & believe in yourself :)
     
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  9. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Whether or not you break this will ultimately deepened on you. It's really a choice for you to make. And it's still okay to make mistakes when you decide you do not want this anymore.

    Personal things make it hard. Believe me, I know what that feels like. But there's really something special about it. When everything does to town and you're the only one keeping a level head it is pretty cool. I hope things can get better for you.

    Good luck on your next streak! :)
     
    ryyyouxx_ likes this.
  10. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

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    Day 5

    hey ! this week was exhausting, yet really productive, i feel really accomplished. because I'm never productive lol.

    the weekends are coming to an end, and yuck im not ready to start another week. :p these few days I haven't been getting any urges at all. which really shocked me, thinking back, maybe it was because i got really busy.

    im trying to fill everyday with something to do, because it definelty distracts me alot.

    it keeps raining here ( we don't have snow :( ) and ive completely stopped the cold water, it's so cold!

    I'm going strong, but im still scared of relaspe.

    i hope everyone is doing alright !
     
  11. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    I'm doing okay, thank you.

    A productive week sounds like a good week! With the added PMO free week that sounds pretty neat.

    Good luck and take care!
     
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  12. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

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    day 19

    omg! finally I've beaten my personal score! this is amazing. I'm on a vacation with my family, so i guess it's easy to keep myself distracted and in check!

    that's also one of the reason I'm not active :p

    but something weird has been happening, I keep having these, relaspe dreams. for 3 days now. and i won't call them wet dreams, because I always end up waking up, just before I can relaspe.

    it's really weird, I rarely get any urges, because I'm on holiday. but these dreams, kinda unusual.

    i guess I have to be careful too, I'm leaving to go back home in 2 days.

    anyways I'm really glad i managed to beat my highscore! I'm definelty doing better!

    i hope everyone is doing okay!
     
  13. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    You go girl! Proud of you. I hope during these dreams, you somehow manage to keep your hands off yourself too. Sometimes, we subconsciously do that without even realizing we're doing it.
     
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  14. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    I've had relapse dreams before, they are very strange but really powerful. It's almost kind of like your head lying to yourself. It thinks you relapsed when you didn't, but it's so difficult to tell...

    ...Luckily they also fall under the rule for normal dreams, so they go away after a while. Stay strong, don't fall back!

    Congrats on beating your high score!
     
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  15. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Well done! 19 days is amazing!
     
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  16. Jeddo

    Jeddo Fapstronaut

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