im trying my best !

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by ryyyouxx_, Sep 23, 2018.

  1. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

    Hi there!

    Im not really good at Journal writing, but im going to give this a shot!

    Im a 18 year old that has been dealing with MO since about 2 years ago?
    And only realised im addicted this January.

    This is the first time im reaching out for help? it feels really awkward, and i feel ashamed that im talking about this kind of things. But im going to try to be brave!

    Ive been stalking around NoFap for awhile now, reading sucess stories and such.
    i kept convincing myself to sign up and get an account, but i was too nervous, what if people treated me harshly?

    therefore, i just kept looking for tips as a guest but even with all the advice i cant seem to stop.

    my longest streak was maybe about 17 days before i fell back into relaspe, i was doing fine, but suddenly, i hit a wall.

    I didnt know what happened, i just couldnt stop.
    aw man, this feels so awkward, but i promised myself to step out of my comfort zone.

    Ill try my best to update often, but im not entirely good at journalling, so i might not be very active on writing. ;-;

    heres to starting again!

    i hope all of you are having a great day!
  2. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

    Welcome @ryyyouxx,

    Journaling is a great idea and a great place to start.

    Try the "One Day at a Time" approach. If your longest streak was 17 days, set your bar for 17 days and work toward that goal. When you reach that goal, double it for your next goal. And however far you get, that's your new bar. Try that for a while, and eventually, you'll get there.

    Please reach out and talk to @FlyingPizza. She is an incredible woman, and she has come such a long way. She was once where you are today. She has so much wisdom to offer you. I love her, and I know you will too.

    I know that all of this feels so very awkward. Check the shame, guilt, and embarrassment at the door. All of us have done the same!

    @Kenzi & @AnonymousAnnaXOXO have great resources in their tag lines. Go check them out.

    If you need help? Just ask, and it will be given.
    ryyyouxx_ likes this.
  3. Newgirl

    Newgirl Fapstronaut

    Welcome to the community! It's a good thing to have stepped out of your comfort zone the fact that you're opening up about your secret is part of the healing process it's a must. I also had a hard time creating an account cuz I felt so embarrassed to talk about my problem but it has been so therapeutic. Before I joined my longest streak had been 14 days I needed this community for accountability purposes. I did relapse on Friday after a 50 day streak but it was out of carelessness and stupidity this time aound I will succeed it feels awful to relapse but it is not the end I will recover I'm sure I can already see the changes after a 50 day victory. Stay positive and strong :)
    Deleted Account and ryyyouxx_ like this.
  4. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

    Day 1

    alrighty! day 1!

    i hung out with some of my friends today, i heard social interaction helps alot!

    sometimes i feel ashamed that i created this account, and maybe i shouldve kept everything to myself.

    but i knew i couldnt do this alone.

    today was a great day, im feeling pretty accomplished even though its only day one. :p

    im still getting used to this website!
    do i just keep replying to my thread? im not very good at this, total noob!

    i hope everyones having a wonderful day!

    - R
  5. Aventus

    Aventus Fapstronaut

    Dont feel ashamed, you are welcome here.
  6. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    That's right. A journal is a thread with all your replies forming all the posts in your journal. Good luck. I found that journalling here made all the difference.
    Deleted Account and ryyyouxx_ like this.
  7. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Hi, welcome to the community!

    I was also where you felt, I was so embarrased to talk about things like this until I gave it a try and met new people. A journal is so relieving because you've got a lot of emotion and experiences that you feel like you need a place to put them, and trust me it feels awesome to be able to spill what's on your mind.

    Don't stress too much about having to update all the time. Real life comes first! We understand that.

    You have a good day, too! Can't wait to see where you'll go from here.
  8. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut


    i feel like everyone here is so kind! thank you so much, lets keep fighting together!
    Zenius, Newgirl, kropo82 and 2 others like this.
  9. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

    Day 2

    okay ! day 2, im feeling pretty great, ever since i joined this community, ive been feeling pretty invincible!

    i had a few urges today, not really unusual. its a little difficult balancing school and this though, but thats alright, ill manage!

    im worried though, im scared that the urges will slam into me really hard, and just devour me whole, sometimes i feel like everything im doing wont help, and ill just continue to suffer, ill just relapse over and over again. sometimes i think reaching 90 days is impossible, ( my highest streak was only 17 days ;^; )

    but for now, im not going to think of that, im going to just focus on fighting!

    lets keep fighting together!

    - R
    Newgirl, Solomon435 and Aventus like this.
  10. Aventus

    Aventus Fapstronaut

    Yeah i feel very simillar like this, my highest streak is 14 days but we cant stop trying, i wish you lot of strenght....
    Deleted Account and ryyyouxx_ like this.
  11. Retro Girl

    Retro Girl Fapstronaut

    My Journal
    Welcome to nofap, wish you all the best on your journey!

  12. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    I know you're gonna be a rockstar on your journey. It's good that you've got school and other things, they'll be a nice distraction.

    Don't worry about what your counter may say. Remember that it's all about the healing, not about the numbers. Keep that in mind and you'll soar! Good luck and take care!
    Deleted Account and ryyyouxx_ like this.
  13. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

    Day 3

    i feel like everyone here is so sweet ;^;
    thank you guys so much for the support !

    i had a huge urge today, but i took a cold shower to chase it away. it helped alot!

    schools been going pretty good! but ive been focusing alot of my time on studying since exams are coming soon, i guess ive been quite distracted lately!

    im sorry this was so short :p i really dont know what to write, im really bad at journalling.

    may you have an amazing day!
  14. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Your welcome. We are ready to stand by you for your healing. :)

    They really do feel great, huh? I'm glad you like them, they're really good and they make you feel stronger.

    That's good! Studying is a good distraction. It's productive in more ways than one!

    A journal should contain whatever you feel it needs to have. Don't worry, there is no "correct" format.

    You had an awesome day, keep it up! :)
    ryyyouxx_ and DoeDew like this.
  15. SpiritAnimal

    SpiritAnimal Fapstronaut

    Hey & welcome! Please never feel ashamed, you are so welcome here and this is a safe place, where you can anonymously off-load and talk openly about things that you might not feel comfortable to otherwise.

    Wishing you all the best on your journey :) I don't have pmo issues now (265 days P-free today) but I do still have MO issues, I also struggle to get past 2 weeks-ish. I just hit two weeks today and I'm determined to get to a month this time!

    This place really helps and every time I manage to convince myself I don't need it any more and leave, I end up going on an M frenzy.

    Like others have said, your journal can be anything, there is no right or wrong. Your feelings, thoughts, progress, slip-ups, what you've been up to, just having a moan or venting frustrations, anything goes :)
    DAIKICHI and ryyyouxx_ like this.

    DAIKICHI Fapstronaut

    Hi, Nice to meet you!
    I also hit two weeks today, I feel better now.
    And I am 18 years old like you! Let’s try our best!;)
    ryyyouxx_ and SpiritAnimal like this.
  17. SpiritAnimal

    SpiritAnimal Fapstronaut

    It's great that you guys are so young & getting this sorted now! I'm in my 30s now and when I started M over a decade ago (when I turned 20) I didn't know there was anything wrong with it. By the time I realised it was M that had made me lose all my sexual responsiveness and orgasms with men, my 20's had been and gone and I had a lot of work to do to correct it all. So, hats off to you for getting on track now. Your future self and relationships will thank you for it! :D
  18. Gaius Julius Caesar

    Gaius Julius Caesar Fapstronaut

    Yeah, exactly. I wish I wasn't such an idiot and took nofap more seriously earlier.
    ryyyouxx_ and SpiritAnimal like this.
  19. ryyyouxx_

    ryyyouxx_ Fapstronaut

    Day 4 and 5

    aaaaa, i missed a day! i totally forgot about this !

    yesterday was pretty much the same as today though, i went to school, studied. stuff like that.

    i had school today, but it ended early, so that gave me extra time :p so i went out with my friends!

    exams are kicking in soon though, ive been quite stressed lately, so im thankful i went out with some of my close friends today, they really help as a stress reliever!

    i was so close to relasping today, the thought of it is super scary. but i got past it with a cold shower. that always helps!

    you guys are super kind ;^; thanks so much, just knowing that there are people out there who care makes me feel so much better. :)

    im sorry this was so short.

    i hope you have a nice day!
  20. SpiritAnimal

    SpiritAnimal Fapstronaut

    You are doing great :)
    ryyyouxx_ likes this.

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