I'm so Tired of Wanting

No, any struggle does not mean repression. As you can see, all these questions, it's best to have someone to show you the way, like a Teacher of some sort, I do hope you find what you are looking for in time, and if you try to tread this path without guidance, it is going to be hard.

Have you ever been to the site www.nofaplife.com ? It's a blog of someone trying to be celibate for the rest of their life, might want to check it out.

Restraint is a very important part of a celibate lifestyle, and of course you will have to have great self-discipline, and there will be struggles in cultivating yourself like that. Restraint of the senses is very important.

The brahmacharya guide has alot of useful information in it, even if you don't believe in the religious aspects the Swami speaks of. I thought about being celibate myself, and if I did get married I would want a woman who was open to my spiritual practice, and would want to spend the latter half of marriage in chastity. That is a struggle I face, because how many women are there out there who want that?!

 

Your post is very saddening, but I can relate to everything you are saying, man; you aren't alone with this. This disease is so diabolical in the way it destroys our lives, and we will live with this for the rest of our lives. Yes, Nofap will help us with this, but it's what we do after we completely reboot and beat this thing. And you will find someone of your own someday; just stay optimistic; this is all we can really do. I've completely learned from the last girl I was with who left me for her ex-boyfriend, and it's most likely one of the reasons why I turned to so much porn afterwards. But, we will get through this and be able to find someone special, and it won't be all about the sex hopefully, but it will be something more than that. If I'm not mistaking, I believe that is what you want in your life, that special significant other. God bless you all.

 

As purity said, perhaps you shouldn't walk this path alone. Have you considered start going to a buddhist temple, for example? Or start reading books on the matter (philosophy as a way of life)?

For instance,
Plato, Not Prozac, Lou Marinoff.
Philosophy for Life and Other Dangerous Situations, Jules Evans

Regarding marriage, there are many people who have little or no sex an are (or seem) happy with it. For example, http://www.asexuality.org/home/ I know that you aren't asexual, hence the problem, but perhaps getting in touch with people in those communities can enlight you in some way.

The blog that purity mentioned also seems interesting: someone to share your choosen path with.

As for myself I've had sex in the past, a long, long time ago (with just one woman and not many times) and since I started this journey I'm the facto celibate, but that's not something that I choose to do. At least, not if I had the opportunity to be with a woman that I really liked (an it was reciprocal, of course).

Sorry if I'm not of any help, but you've touched quite a deep and complex issue, with no easy answers.

Galaxim.

 

MelancholyWeightlifter, I decided I'm not ready for it, not that I am necessarily against it. I still hold onto the idea of one day, maybe 20 years from now, becoming celibate.

I'm not ready for that level of renunciation. I'm still attached to the idea of expressing physical love with a woman, and forming a bond.

My attachments hold me back from pursuing celibacy

Also good idea about the meditation. Such a crucial practice, if not a necessity, for embracing a celibate life.

 

MW- I definitely think you can have a happy and fulfilling life being celibate for the rest of your life. If you can be happy today, then the same is true for tomorrow and the day after and so on. Find what you love in life and do that- if not a woman than your work or your volunteering or your weight-lifting or your prayer or helping broken fapstronauts to come to wholeness. If it's not a bad way to spend a day, then it's not such a bad way to spend a life. Like Victor Frankl's logotherapy ("Man's Search for Meaning")
---but I know that doesn't reach to the core of it. "The wanting" I know it too. Is there really only the one way of meeting that desire or that emptiness? (and is that desire really met for married men? they can seem just as isolated). What is it we're really looking for?

 

I pray that my steak will reach 120, man...Inspiration seeing you almost reaching your goal; nice to see you about to make it. God bless you.

 

Good luck with your goal. You will get there.

 

Thank you!! Actually, I just add 10 more days each time. When I reach 120, my next goal will be 130 and so on.

 

That's a really good question, Earnest. I think most of us here tend to equal happiness with being with a loved partner (I include myself in "most of us"), but that remind me of the video of the "happiest man alive": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbLEf4HR74E

Some people might feel complete and full by being alone, while others may feel lonely and purposeless, notwithstanding the amount of people that surround them.

I'm not speaking against relationships with woman or with friends in general, not at all. I'm thinking more that we have to walk our own individual paths, without taking into consideration what society expect of us, or what we imagine that it expects of us.

Galaxim.

 

I was looking for a list of "famous celibates" and I came up to this post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1ra5db/leonardo_da_vinci_was_a_fapstronaut_some_thoughts/

So you could be the next Leonardo, who knows?

 

I agree wholeheartedly with Earnest Lee and MelancholyWeightlifter say here. If you can embrace this, maybe you could be HappyWeightlifter

 

So sorry for coming in late but there is a girl who you think likes you. And its hard for you because you know you will never be with her right? I mean you could just be friends and if she asks you could tell her this is how I want to live my life. She'll understand.

I think that the reason there is a struggle is because I think part of you doesn't quite want to be celibate forever. Its a difficult thing especially for how young you are what like 19? Theres a lot of time to think things over. Its a big commitment.

Im not going to say whether your right or wrong because I don't know you. In fact its hard for me to even say if my brother or sister are doing the right or wrong thing. But there is no pressure on you to do otherwise we are overpopulated. But what is your motivation for this? Have you ever been in a relationship? I believe that you don't need to have a partner. Because we love all sorts of things our friends our hobbies our passions. And you can grow as a person doing the things you love to some degree I think its quite commendable to build yourself without reliance on anyone just doing it all on your own that is a hard thing to do. Good luck.

 

Wow dude, for some reason I figured you were in your 30's. Like really, months ago reading your posts, I assumed you were older.

I seem to form an opinion of how old someone is just by seeing their posts around the forum, I should probably stop that because it is so inaccurate.

You might be interested in some of this,

Advantages of a celibate lifestyle

"The unthinking, base part of me." This book may help you understand this a little more,
Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior

http://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/2000/aug/06/features.review17