I'm pregnant

Hey, I also found out I was pregnant while my now fiance was in recovery. I was very scared as well when I first found out. I don't know your story, but I was with my partner for a year before D-day, and then he has been clean for a year. I am now 17 weeks, and we found out at 4 weeks. He has been so excited because he always wanted a kid, and I took some time to warm up but now I'm excited too.

I know that it's scary, and if you haven't told him yet, that can add to the nerves. How long has your husband/partner been clean from PMO if you don't mind me asking?

 

Faith is crucial to recovery: having faith in oneself and in one's spouse. I think that ironically, constantly worrying about whether the spouse is lying makes it easier to lie, while consistently demonstrating confidence supports the new behaviors. That is not to say regular, direct questions aren't also really important.

Let him know that you are counting on him and that you have faith that he is continuing on the recovery path, and that he will always be transparent about his struggles. And ask him directly about his progress.

That's my suggestion.

 

It's understandable to be worried when expecting a new baby. Addicts need stability in order to make a successful recovery. Nothing changes a family's dynamic more than introducing a newborn to the house. However, now he has additional reasons to want to get better. If he has been truly working on new coping skills then he can continue to apply them to this new situation. Continue to communicate your new fears and anxieties. Continue to encourage your husband to express his emotions. Becoming a parent is a growing experience and is full of new challenges and joys. If he runs into trouble encourage him to get help immediately and don't allow a small problem to fester and become worse. There are plenty of parents on this forum that understand how family issues can complicate a recovery. Please let us know how we can help.

 

Honestly, I think a baby would do wonders for anyone who's addicted. At least for me PMO is tied to lonliness and boredom. A kid takes up both of those...and sleep.
Trust from his excitement(assuming) he's in it for the long run.
You just gotta make sure you take time with eachother once things stablize a bit after. I know some of my friends wifes have gone into a no sex phase or constantly remind their husbands he is 2nd now to the kid and it tears at a man. Thats when Im called up for a boys night, or talm of porn or strippers comes into play or just heavy drinking
But with a kid theres no time for plans with anyone else its only you 3 and it can get lonely if only one person is getting any love.
My other insight Ive had from the wifes is they havent felt sexy after the birth (thus insecure about sex)...your mom butt looks amazing, so cut that out.