I'm here...finally...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by JonathanPreslan, May 7, 2019.

  1. JonathanPreslan

    JonathanPreslan Fapstronaut

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    Hello all,

    yaaaaaaaaay I have made it here. I've been thinking of joining this community for a while now, and after numerous failed attempts to quit (including spunking - pun intended - £200 on porn addiction counselling which did nothing) I've decided that I am going to give this a shot. I think what I need most of all is to be able to speak to other people about this, as the weight of the secret is killing me! So I am happy to be a new member of this community - hopefully we can help each other out and give each other some friendly words of encouragement!
     
    Landers98 likes this.
  2. synchros

    synchros Fapstronaut

    Hi and welcome!

    So, you consider yourself addicted to P? For how long have you been addicted? And how is it affecting your life and life goals?
     
  3. JonathanPreslan

    JonathanPreslan Fapstronaut

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    I would say on and off since I was 18 (I'm 24 now). It has affected everything in my life, especially my love life and my academic life. I know I could be so creative and productive if I wasn't addicted to porn. So, so, so much time wasted. Its tragic really. These are supposed to be some of the best years of my life, but instead of enjoying myself and doing interesting and great things I am quite literally spunking the time up the wall.

    Since I posted my first comment I have relapsed pretty hard. Been watching porn pretty much every day since then. I don't know how to stop!

    Advice! Please!!
     
    synchros likes this.
  4. synchros

    synchros Fapstronaut

    Sounds like you have a lot of good reasons to leave P behind, then.

    My advice to you would be to read up a lot on the subject. There's a lot of information on these boards as well as on other sites, e.g. yourbrainonporn.com.

    My biggest problem with giving up P has been that deep down I've believed that P is "normal", "everyone does it", "it's harmless" and so on. By reading a lot of journals as well as educating myself on the scientific parts, I've gained a lot of momentum. Another thing that seems to be important for me is treating this as an active process, i.e. not slacking off on visiting these boards and writing in my journal etc.

    Basically, keep reading, re-reading and re-reading again. Eventually it will stick. Treat it as a learning process. Deal with one day at a time. One urge at a time. Know that for every urge you resist, it gets easier. Know that your brain is imbalanced right now, and that it will hurt a little bit to get it back to normal.

    Good luck!
     
    Landers98 likes this.
  5. Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut

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  6. JonathanPreslan

    JonathanPreslan Fapstronaut

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    Damn, not even 1 day and I relapsed. I think the fact that I had a bit to drink last night didn't help. I woke up feeling a bit groggy this morning, so I think it was easier to slip into the 'self-soothing' comfort of porn watching. Note to self (and to others): I need to be extra alert and careful if I have been out drinking the night before.

    I also need to get into the habit of checking NoFap first thing in the morning. Need to get into a good routine with this thing or it'll never work.
     
  7. Landers98

    Landers98 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to NoFap @JonathanPreslan!
     
  8. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Yes, you (and others too) do need to be careful about alcohol use. noFAP is about building inhibitions to PMO; alcohol weakens inhibitions. Consuming alcohol isn't going to make noFAP easier, and will likely lead to troubles. But you've learned that - hopefully the lesson will remain learned.

    To learn more about noFAP, if you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's (noFAP) home page. It includes a lot of information that you'll find helpful as you begin your journey of healing. Also have a look at the "Glossary" available at the top of this page. It includes definitions of abbreviations and terms that may be new to you.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    synchros likes this.
  9. JonathanPreslan

    JonathanPreslan Fapstronaut

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    So I managed four days and now just reeeeeeelapsed. Got triggered by instagram content...

    Goddam...well, each time I learn I guess. Back to square one. I would love to get to a week. In fact, that is my new goal. A week without porn. Starting...now.
     
  10. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    [QUOTE="JonathanPreslan, post: 2075929, member: 323379"You]Got triggered by instagram content...[/QUOTE]

    Social media sites can be useful, but as you've learned, they can also be triggers.

    An effective way to deal with triggers that you know about is to eliminate them before they can trigger you. How about deleting your access to social media ? If that is too much of a first-step, then try a "no screens when alone" rule.

    You now know at least one thing that triggers you, and you know of at least one way to avoid falling prey to that same trigger again.

    The next move is yours. Make it a good one.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    synchros likes this.

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