I'm gonna ask out my crush, but I need some advice!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by White Death, Jul 9, 2019.

  1. White Death

    White Death Fapstronaut

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    I've convinced myself to no longer fear rejection, but I just don't know how to approach her. I've only spoken to her a few times throughout my year at school and we barely know each other.

    My Question:
    Would it be better to just walk up to her and tell her I have a crush on her (or ask her out) or get to know her a little more before I do so?
     
  2. Mr.Tell it like it is

    Mr.Tell it like it is Fapstronaut

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    That's great, someone saying NO doesn't hurt
    Just go up to her and ask her out women know the reason your asking them out so you don't need to over think the wheel or be over creative just say " hay lets meet up Thursday at (whatever place) at (whatever time) " if she is interested she will give you her phone and say yes if not she will give lame excuses and not offer another time
     
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  3. gonna do it 55

    gonna do it 55 Fapstronaut

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    look bro my crush is the most hot girl in the school .......when i was in grade 5 .....sorry i forgot get up your popcorn and read .....i alway looked at her and had eye contact with her... actually she was single ..bcoz one of the boys tried to touch her ass once ..........so she said she wont talk to boys again......at that moment i were happy and sad ...bcoz she left him and sad bcoz she wont talk to boys again then a big moment came.. i was behing her and she fell......i said yo myself be confidence this time .... so i got her up and talked alittle then i told her we should be friends...she said sure ...at exams i kissed her a lip one ..........then i told her that i love her then she just told shhh and kissed me a lot....then we became at grade 12 the best couples ever existed.......so what iam telling you to walk up with her some days then ask her out or tell her to come study at your house ....thats it
     
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  4. gonna do it 55

    gonna do it 55 Fapstronaut

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  5. BiaForce

    BiaForce Fapstronaut

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  6. White Death

    White Death Fapstronaut

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    As sad as it is, I kinda missed an opportunity like that (not with the girl I'm asking about rn).
     
  7. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    Just ask her out. And if you like her, give her hints that you do. The worst thing that could happen is you expressing your feelings to her and being rejected because she couldn't tell. That happened to me and I know not to make that mistake again.
     
  8. White Death

    White Death Fapstronaut

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    I should also note that she's a bit taller than me (sadly). It doesn't really matter to me and I really hope it doesn't matter to her. Aside from that she's still attractive, smart and really nice.
     
  9. 7WolfOfWallStreet

    7WolfOfWallStreet Fapstronaut

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    Very nice story !

    It would be nice if you can make a separated post with this story , by this way you can motivate many members of the group .

    Thank you for sharing this story with us , really helpful !
     
  10. Don’t tell her you have a crush on her. If you want to say anything, tell her you find her interesting. If you want to compliment her- decide to compliment her style or her sense of humour. She knows she’s pretty... she probably gets hit on a lot. A guy that finds the inner person attractive will always win over a guy who just thinks she’s pretty.
     
    TheMightyQuinn likes this.
  11. ItsInTheBag

    ItsInTheBag Fapstronaut

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    The first one sounds like a good candidate to be friend-zoned. Usually the better looking and douchier one wins. Sure she may get later to appreciate his character, but just like men don't have a character detector when approaching women, but are first intrigued by their looks, I expect our friend here will need to pass the "first impression" test as well: is he confident and does she find him at least pleasing to look at?

    @White Death Be the nice but confident, not the nice & creepy (stalker type of) guy. It is mostly the confidence and "not being tied to the outcome" the "jerk" displays what makes girls feel a tingle. A nice and not-so-confident guy will be filed under the "boring" category. Unless she's some kind of unicorn.(+1 if you wear a leather jacket :D, instantly makes you look like a "bad boy". Kidding. And not kidding. :) )

    Don't mention the word "crush", rather follow the first response's advice: make her acquaintance, try not to seem too stressed and needy about it. Be straightforward.

    Also, don't be disappointed if she rejects you. Height may be a reason. So many under 5 feet girls want an over 6 foot guy - "feeling protected" yada yada.

    But, of course, you have a chance.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2019 at 10:34 AM
  12. I’m going to let you in on a little secret that few men seem to understand...

    There is NO such thing as the friend zone.
    What do I mean? If you want to be friends with someone be their friend, but if you’re only nice to them because you are trying to get something from them, you’re not a friend. If someone is not attracted to you, they’re not going to want to date you. It’s as simple as that.

    Imagine for a second you meet a girl at work. She is NOT your type. She’s about 400lbs, greasy hair, full of acne. Not your type. Working with her you realize you have a lot in common, she’s actually pretty awesome as a person. While you’re not attracted to her you find yourself enjoying her company - maybe you both like the same movies or video games. She’s like one of the guys to you. Secretly this girl wants to date you, but you’re not even thinking about that. You’re her friend. Weeks or months go by and she asks you on a date. You reply that you’re flattered but only see her as a friend. She’s crushed. She wants to know why you were paying attention to her, she tells everyone you put her in the friend zone and you’re like “wtf no I didn’t, we are friends, you’re a good person” now she doesn’t even want to talk to you because she thinks you were leading her on. You were only being friendly the same as you are to your guy friends. This girl seems crazy.

    That’s the friend zone

    If someone isn’t attracted to you, and you choose to be their friend what you are is A FRIEND you’re not in some mythical zone.
     
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  13. ItsInTheBag

    ItsInTheBag Fapstronaut

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    While I get the semantics (and appreciate you typing them down), I still stand by my original statement, which you seem to agree: unless she feels some spark, she won't have the opportunity to get to know you.

    [Side-note: and after she knows you and is sure about your devotion, made sure you worked hard to build all of her dreams, she may suddenly find you boring. (80% of divorces are initiated by women. I refuse to believe they were all abused.)

    In my case, a few banalities like: "I no longer find myself in this relationship." and "I no longer love you.", "It is me that has changed, you're the same good guy I married." were enough to end an 10+ -year marriage. Now I'm having "fun" restarting my life in the mid-to late thirties.

    Of course not all women are the same (no broad strokes here), and you can only "hear" my version - I was not perfect, but who is? However, the big things were in check: haven't had any addiction (3-4 years off the porn, she couldn't have told unless I told her; no alcohol, smoking, drugs), decent looking, way younger looking that my age, respected career, good health, making good money, big house, two cars, business, no debt; most importantly, worshiped her, had perfect sexual compatibility, never cheated on her. She just had to live "her wild life", I guess. Probably guys like me hang in every tree ripe for picking.

    Funny thing is, I've been hit on by women, which rarely happened before. Someone's garbage is someone else's treasure. Almost two years single, I'm carving my way out of this addiction for myself first. And then we wonder why the "red pill" and MGTOW channels flourish on Youtube.

    Once your eyes open, you never go back believing all those stories about womens' innocence, "believe women by default" and so on. No. There's bad men, and bad women. I'd rather be punched in the face by a man, than back-stabbed by a woman, though...personal preference.

    FWIW - I hold no ill will towards her, never had, but I'd happily erase 10+ years out of my life, as happy as they were, instead of having ended up here.]

    So, my dear @White Death, do not put her on a pedestal. It is not worth it. Just as it is not worth it swearing off women for life :).

    [Little bit edited, to not give up too many details.]
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2019 at 11:56 AM
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  14. TheMightyQuinn

    TheMightyQuinn Fapstronaut

    I agree with @Empty shell of a girlfriend here.

    Guys, if you want to know how to ask out a woman (not a girl, please, we are adults here, right?), ask women how they want to be asked out.

    Note: if you are under 18, girl is fine. If you are over 18, I presume you are dating women, not girls.

    Peace,
    -Quinn
     
  15. ItsInTheBag

    ItsInTheBag Fapstronaut

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    I've got the impression he was very young. Who knows, maybe she's still innocent at that age.

    [L.E.] Depends what kind of "school" he means.
     
  16. TheMightyQuinn

    TheMightyQuinn Fapstronaut

    Yeah, agreed, that's why put in the part about under 18. I just have known many dudes in the 30's and 40's talk about dating "girls". Sorry, my own personal axe to grind.

    -Quinn
     
  17. ItsInTheBag

    ItsInTheBag Fapstronaut

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    I can understand!
     
  18. Mr.Tell it like it is

    Mr.Tell it like it is Fapstronaut

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    Wise words there well done
     
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  19. ItsInTheBag

    ItsInTheBag Fapstronaut

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    You've been dropping off valuable knowledge yourself. I like your perspective.
     
    Mr.Tell it like it is likes this.
  20. Mr.Tell it like it is

    Mr.Tell it like it is Fapstronaut

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    Thank You, I like to give back lessons I learned the hard way on dating and life
     
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