I'm Fucking Done

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by PsychicCharlie, Dec 17, 2014.

  1. PsychicCharlie

    PsychicCharlie Fapstronaut

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    This is bullshit I first got introduced to porn at 7 and I have been so unbelievably fighting this shitty science addiction or some wrath of god, for too fucking long. I was born and then I was addicted I mean what the actual fuck. All people have done for me is get me addicted(brother) keep me in a private neighborhood (mam and dad) treat me like a crazy person(aunties) and or don't give a shit about me (rest of my disgusting family). I am absolutely fucking done with typing letters onto digital pages thinking they will change anything. I can't remember what I did today tomorrow or fucking ANYTHING before today. Ill probably forget this shitty paragraph in a hour or two. I can't remember ANYTHING because of my porn addiction it wipes my memory fucking clear and I'm only 14 and I have to deal with depression,ocd,social anxiety,bullying and sexual bullying in the past. I have to deal with wanting to hurt everyone I lay eyes on even my family. I'm starting to think maybe I'm just a fucking sociopath, I scroll down anything and everything that can take away the emptiness inside of me for atleast a millisecond. I have to deal with ocd and make other people look at me like a weirdo, If they do say anything I'll want to rip their lungs out and shove it into a pipe drain. I HAVE TRIED FOR SO LONG AND I CAN ALREADY PREDICT THAT SOME OF YOU DICKHEADS WILL READ THIS AND THINK I WILL COME BACK TO THIS SHIT AGAIN. YOU WILL THINK IM A ABSOULOUTE TWAT AND CLICK OFF THE PAGE FORGETTING ME IN SECONDS. I DON'T WANT TO ERASE YOUR PROGRESS ON NOFAP BECAUSE I'M NO ASSHOLE. I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE. 7 years of plain terrible past full torture. Can't wait till a mod like that fat bitch reads this and deletes it. All other people do is go to school or work come home go on the computers, facebook twitter and that's it. NO HOPE FOR HUMANITY WHEN EVERYONE IS BLINDED BY PORN. No one even gives a shit about me or this fucking post it will get what about 30-40 views then be took down immediately hiding the inevitable. Bet some older dickheads will think "hes a teenager, I'ts a phase." I have not went through any fucking phase I have felt worse and worse in my life and I have had NO HAPPY MOMENTS. I have only went two weeks without porn. Goodbye you digital code pricks I rally hope god just allows me to stop breathing one of these days. I just can't wait. All I want is the world to end so the people who deserve to die, will. But it never happens. I would love to see civilization finally falling again people killing just to stay breathing, and all the little boys saying they would shoot people get raped and gutted like a fish in a ocean. I wish it could happen, because then no one, no one could hide anymore.
     
  2. singed

    singed Fapstronaut

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    Wow, man. I really don't know what to say to all that except it sounds your life experience has fucking sucked. No one deserves that.

    You may be right about not getting much response, but it's because this post is pretty overwhelming. We just don't know how to react. Have you ever had professional help? It never worked for me, but a lot of people do benefit. Not trying to just brush you off, but I don't know what else to say. We do care, but I'm at a loss.
     
  3. beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    This is unfortunate. I started watching porn when I turned 13 and had been watching it and masturbating for 5 plus years before I decided to take my life back earlier this year. I suppose I'm sort of in the same boat, growing up with porn and all. You're 14 and realized you had a problem. That in itself is impressive. Just know that there are people who care (including myself), that know the feeling of worthlessness that porn and masturbation brings forth.

    Porn is evil. Something you are probably very aware of. Like singed, I don't know what to tell you. If this is your last stand, your last post on NoFap, I'm going to be heart-broken. I had a hard enough time with porn, but knowing someone else will be beaten down and defeated by porn absolutely breaks my heart. I wish there was something I could tell or show you, but unfortunately there is nothing. If you ever need to talk with somebody, don't hesitate to PM me. I'm 18.
     
  4. Personal Freedom

    Personal Freedom Fapstronaut

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    Anything done with external influences can be undone. You can escape this. It's good to get your anger out, and you need to move forward with it. A lot of the people here may have helpful things to offer, if you keep your mind open and look for them.
     
  5. MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Have you ever tried working out/lifting? It can be an awesome escape that builds both the mind and body. It helps build confidence and a feeling of control. No matter what happens in life, you have the gym. It's a constant, it never abuses or lies to you. It's the iron, it'll always be there. Think about it, it may help.
     
  6. One Advice to You.Read Self Help/Inspiring Books.Go to Amazon or Search on Google for Best of Them.I'm Sure,100% Sure that After Completing one Book,You'll Be Changed forever.You Need Guidance My Friend.Start Meditating,Start Exercising,Hit out at the Gym or Play Football.Don't be Trapped by Dogma.Let People think whatever they Think of You.Is it Your's Life or Their's Life.Their Thoughts shouldn't control Your Life.You Have the Right to Choose,Only YOU.
     
  7. Rakman105

    Rakman105 Fapstronaut

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    All of the above. Keep searching for answers if you truly want them. Your family doesn't always know the best for you despite what they say. Stick with the winners.
     
  8. FastingPrayerSleep

    FastingPrayerSleep Fapstronaut

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    Hey Charlie. Some people here simply have low libido and have never felt overwhelming urges.

    Then they like to preach about how they do it while looking down on those who fail, when it is barely affecting them in the first place.

    But they don't know better and at an honest level they are trying to help.

    However, when you see this in people, know that you personally must take more drastic measures to achieve your goals.

    Because if an addiction really has you there is no half-stepping a real escape.

    And there are real escapes.
     
  9. Ramy

    Ramy Fapstronaut

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    Hello little man... at first let me say I TOTALLY feel your pain, and don't you think most of us doesn't know pretty well and understand what you're going through, it just varies the intensity, and the willpower and how strong you are, I don't wanna tell you stuff you probably heard a million times, but let me tell you this.. I started this whole and let me call it demonic self-destroying habit at the age of 9, and right now i'm 23, I haven't quit since, I got so addicted I masturbate 5+ times/day, everyday, everywhere, nonstop, that few years ago I started experiencing erectile disorders and swelling and pain.. it was depressing, I wanted to just die, it felt like my penis died, and I can't get it out of my mind the idea of tomorrow being with a woman and I can't have a proper erection, or I cum right when she touches my penis, I'm afraid I won't make it all the way till I'm inside her.. and despite all that.. I'm here now, fighting this demon, fighting my sad, lame, pathetic boring self, forcing myself to stop, look at my meter now.. this is the farthest I ever got, and yet I'm not giving up, hoping one day I'll get addicted to something else healthier, something won't be a reason for killing my sex life or making me never able to have a woman..

    Listen to me man, this site might be nothing in helping people, it's kind of useless being here if you ask me, when I found it I was so excited, I thought it was my savior, I thought it was the thing that will help me get over my addiction and have a happy normal life, but that's bullshit!, it's not the site, it's not your journal on here, it's not your fap meter, NOTHING of those will EVER help you, it's like YOU said NO ONE WILL EVER GIVE A FUCK about you, and you know what you are absolutely right, right now I'm a 100% sympathizing with you, because I'm in your very place, I need help too, and I didn't find it here and I won't, every time I write a topic about a problem I hardly get a reply, but you know what WHO THE FUCK CARES?, everyone is busy with their own problems, with their own lives. This doesn't mean we get to give up and sit in a corner cry our eyes out because no one would help us, you know what I say FUCK EVERYONE, FUCK ME as I might actually forget all about you right when I click send and move on.

    It must come from YOU, I'd not help you, the site won't help you, NOT EVEN YOUR PARENTS, it's only YOU that feels the real pain, it's only YOU that get to live with the problem daily, and trust me I know it's hell, so FUCKING MAN UP and get on your feet and say NO for once, be a man with a word, don't give up like a little PUSSY, cry over your problems and waiting for others to solve it for you, THROW THE FUCKING LAPTOP AWAY, get rid of your phone, tie up your hands, LEAVE YOUR FUCKING PENIS ALONE, get out of the house and stay at public places all fucking day, go to some club and play sports, get busy, get a motivating buddy an accountability partner, make it a girl your own age, help each other through it, but all the negativity and weakness won't help.

    seriously fuck your friends, fuck your parents, fuck your society, fuck your aunts and the rest of your family, fuck whoever laughed at you, and fuck whoever doesn't feel your pain or take it seriously, just take yourself away from all these people, have some alone time with yourself, set priorities, seek what makes YOU happy, and if it was quitting then just FUCKING do it, if cocaine addicts can quit at sometime then you fucking can leave your dick alone too!, just be a man and take responsibility, DON'T listen to what people around you say, DON't GIVE A FUCK about what people think of YOU, you weren't created to fucking entertain the world!.

    think about what I said, make a move, NOW!, stop whining and make yourself a better person FOR YOU, PROVE TO YOU THAT YOU'RE MAN ENOUGH TO TAKE DECISIONS AND MAKE CHOICES.

    IT'S YOUR LIFE, YOUR CALL.

    And hey I'm 100000000% ready to be your accountability partner, if you want I'll be your elder brother, I'll be around for you 24/7 to help you while doing that myself, i'm being sincere, I don't have younger siblings, and I promise you we will get through this together, message me if you are in.
     

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