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Im breaking down...depression

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by jason mac, May 5, 2017.

  1. jason mac

    jason mac Fapstronaut

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    Ok so its the middle of the night, couldn't sleep. I start watching a movie on netflix, halfway through i get up and im just feeling like shit. I just cant hold it in right now and i have no idea on how to deal with this. i just sat down and started crying. feeling like absolute shit for about three or four days, i just couldn't hold it in anymore, i thought i could deal with this alone but i cant. i cant tell if this is depression because of NoFap or because i was rejected hard recently, maybe both. either way shits hitting me like a ton of bricks. no suicidal thoughts. but holy shit i just want to be normal again. what do i do.
     
  2. I was the same way this morning, except I had a loaded 40 right by my side, ready to end it. I'm glad to hear you are not suicidal, but do know that I know exactly the crappy feeling you are going through right now. It really is a hell. It really is a struggle and a battle through nofap, but you come out so much stronger. Suicide is never the answer and only leaves a negative impact on the world. Just know that it does get better with nofap, but boy is it one hell of a fight. I've been single my entire life, unless you count one night stands, which are almost meaningless. It really really really sucks man. We can't stress that enough, but it does get better with nofap. This will take years of recovers, especially if one has been addicted for years. Stay strong man and you can talk to me about anything.
     
    LivinginRecovery and jason mac like this.
  3. jason mac

    jason mac Fapstronaut

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    was on a streak for about a month. met a girl we got along great. i knew coming into this she didnt want anything more but fun. but i fucked up, i got attached, we had sex and i could barely keep it up. i felt like absolute shit because i knew she wasnt satisfied at all. i held her while she slept but and for a second it was amazing, everything i wanted was right there. now its gone and i know its my fault and i fucked up. its hard not to feel like shit and just hate yourself. I wanna tell her but i feel like if i do ill completely lose her from my life, and i dont wanna risk it. that same day i relapsed and masturbated to porn and i regret it.
     
  4. Fightthedevil

    Fightthedevil Fapstronaut

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    Three Words brother-Just Hold On.
     
  5. This is heavy. I don't even know what to say to that but it didn't feel like I could just read this and not do anything. You say you want to be normal again. Well even if it doesn't seem like it, you're already on your way and you're doing good. You're letting it out, you didn't give up on rebooting, you're not having suicidal thoughts. Don't think those things are little. A lot of people in your situation would just give up, but you didn't. So keep doing what you're doing. You reached 30 days clean which means you can do it again. It might not be easy but fighting this is all that matters. As for your girl, I know it's terrible and I know you're scared but if you think that girl is truly worth it, you should tell her. If she wants you at your best then she should handle you at your worst. You deserve someone who wants to be with you for you, someone who looks past your addiction. And whatever happens, what's meant to be will be. I'm sorry f you read this and think it's just a bunch of crap, I don't know what else I can do. Hang in there, you'll get through it.
     
  6. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    It's a good thing. I know it doesn't feel that way but it is. Your emotions are coming back through and although I am only on Day 2 I have managed over a month in the past and I know only too well the soul destroying depressive episodes that I have once again ahead of me and what you are going through right now. Think about your life and concentrate on the positives. A roof above your head, food in your belly, a bed to sleep in and the fact you live somewhere that you have access to the internet and others who understand what you are going through. These are great things and it's proof positive that what you are going through right now is absolutely rooted in NoFap and the process out of the chemical mindset you had before. You ARE recovering. To realise what you have and be in a depressive state shows that it's this recovery process and nothing else ergo you will feel better each and every day from this point on and all you and I and everyone else here has to do is to maintain the quit. You are going to beat this. I cried on my first day free from fapping and I stopped it because I'm an uptight guy but it sure felt good. I'm just a PM away if you need to vent, rant away you name it. Sending out positive vibes to you friend.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. silenteagle

    silenteagle Fapstronaut

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    Just keep going strong.It takes loads of patience and perseverance to fight this battle!
     
  8. You dont seem to be focussed on your goals. Keep your goals and dreams in mind. Nothing else matters. Everything else is irrelevant.
     
    CSLewis_YBOP likes this.
  9. Genji

    Genji Guest

    "Feeling Good" by doctor burns. Buy it, do the exercises. Or go to therapy.
     

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