I'm bored.. there's nothing to do and my friends don't hang out with me unless I text them first..

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by kisg12364#h, Jul 26, 2019.

  1. kisg12364#h

    kisg12364#h Fapstronaut

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    Since summer began, I've just been sitting at home cleaning, playing video games, and just doing the regular things a teenager does except going outside. My friends only text me about 1-2 times a month to see if I wanna do something. Most of the time I see that they are hanging out doing cool shit without me. Is this normal? Recently, I've started reading books and I feel depressed sitting at home, what do you think I should do? School is right around the corner as well which makes me even more depressed. Thank you for your time, and sorry in advance if I posted this in the wrong forum.
     
  2. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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    I understand. I'm just like you, but I'm used to it. I mean, sitting at home and playing video games for hours. I don't even hang out with my friends... I'm just wasting my time. But I extremely wanna change this lifestyle.
    Are you on NoFap right now?
     
  3. kisg12364#h

    kisg12364#h Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I'm on NoFap right now. It's nice to know that there's people like me. But when I hang out with friends it's usually because I texted them first, and I feel like it's forced.
     
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  4. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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    I don't know what to say. TBH, The last time I hung out with one of my friends was about 6 months ago -_-
     
  5. kisg12364#h

    kisg12364#h Fapstronaut

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    Brother, screw what everyone else thinks, people are so self-conscious now-a-days. It's not just you. It's everyone though they may not show it. Life is to short to worry about such lousy things. Pursue what you love, money, business, sports. Don't worry what others think about you, do it for god, family, a spouse, or just because it's the right thing to do. Focus on the solution, not the problem, and never give up.
     
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  6. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. I hope NoFap destroys my social anxiety. For the first time, I'm about to experience many good things (with NoFap). I've never seen the real ME!
     
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  7. OVandy

    OVandy New Fapstronaut

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    I have the same problem. I literally have not talked to one person from my school since summer began. I have been wasting hella time doing literally nothing. None of my "friends" from school even has texted me this whole summer so I figure that they couldnt give a damn about me. The only thing I recommend is to get a job. Might as well make money rather than doing nothing. For me ive applied to 7 jobs and none of them responded.
     
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  8. NewGeorge

    NewGeorge Fapstronaut

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    Oh boy oh boy oh boy. I've been trough the same shit, dealt with it, now I know what I'm doing and I gotta tell you most of the advice you are gonna get on how to fix this is pure crap.

    First of all: NoFap is definitely a good thing, you will feel more energetic, better about yourself and social anxiety will be reduced. (note how I say "REDUCED", not gone, not "destroyed"). You should keep going with it, but certainly you should not expect it will change your life entirely. NoFap is necessary, but not sufficient. And if you don't change other aspects of your life, you are most likely gonna fail NoFap as well.

    Second: I did the exact same thing as you dude, from the fifth grade to the 12th grade, playing games all summer long just because I had nothing else to do. I would rarely get out with friends (1-2 a month at best) and they were obviously not texting me first I had to call them out. You gotta get used to the fact that this is the way things are. Don't expect invitations all the time, be the one who asks, get involved, try to get into the shit the others are doing but nicely, not by forcing your way in. Also it is very important when these moments occur that you live the max of the event, that you have a great time, fun and do all kind of stuff that you can do, don't sit on your phone and get bored ( and if you think you can't do that because of social anxiety, then social anxiety is the issue that needs to be solved FIRST - otherwise, I'm sorry to say it so rough, people won't want you around ). Live the moment and you will get invited out more often ( but still not plenty of time,no matter how much of a social butterfly you could become ). Also, accept every opportunity to go out and work on your social skills.

    Third: during summer everyone spends a lot of time alone and gets bored, including the guys you always see partying and shit, it is very important what you do with that time. Video games are good, but I bet you are using them to waste time(this plus social media and Youtube). Try not doing any of these for 2 days and you'll see how bored you actually are. You are bored also when playing and watching yt, you just don't feel it that well. Literally any other activity, no matter how insignificant it may feel, is better than wasting tons of time. I tried to learn how to juggle, I know it sounds silly and useless, yet I used it at a party and everyone was impressed and we had a good time joking about it. Now I do more serious stuff, such as learning how to cook, going to the gym, learning for university etc. Maybe some won't be that useless, but at least they are no COMPLETELY USELESS.

    And for social anxiety that's a whole another story, but this is how I solved the issue this tread highlighted, hope it may help sharing.
     
  9. Shaktiman760

    Shaktiman760 Fapstronaut

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    don't chase happiness be a source of happiness and also be a reason that your all friends can't live without you for you be cheerful with them enjoy life . life is too short
     
  10. Do sport to pass time, its beneficial for you and will make you happy
     
  11. moulox

    moulox Fapstronaut

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    The bad thing about this issue is that I think it never goes away. I'm facing the same situation, more or less, even though the school days are way far past me. I first noticed that kind of "friends" absence 15 yrs ago and same thing happened again nowdays during my Nofap days. On the old days it would be their girlfriends or something, today is their children. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect parents to ditch their family obligations to hang out with me and this excuse can't be claimed by all of them. Still, having confided my struggle to 5 people and seeing their reluctance to switch their schedule a bit so they could have a cup of coffee with me every 2 weeks or so, or hell just give me a call to check how am i coping (while they got my number on speed dial when it comes to moving between houses or other needs of theirs), I think that it objectively justifies two sayings I 've heard sometime in the past;

    The first by a friend who once told me that "Friends will come to you when THEY feel lonely".

    The second one by my late grandpa who scuffled when I told him the city I had chosen to go live in because I had friends there and told me that that wouldn't last. Now based on the fact that he was kind of a dick with no friends on his own I attributed his words on that but sadly the old mans word didn't land far from the truth. Wherever he is now (probably hell if it exists) I'm sure he will be feeling justified :D

    So, kisg12364#h, my advice to you would be to keep touch with any friend you got you feel he deserves your company. It's true that the best friends you will make in your lifetime are the one's you meet when you are young, yet there are so many variables in the future (moving out of the city, college, one getting "lost" in a relationship etc) that can destroy whatever friendship you build now. As stated above my post, stay social (so you don't become a loner), find and practice a new hobby or a club activity that can be a common ground to meet new people who may become your new friends. Don't place too many of your hopes on your friends because more disappointments await you down the road.
     
  12. kisg12364#h

    kisg12364#h Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for your advice. I truly appreciate it.
     
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  13. kisg12364#h

    kisg12364#h Fapstronaut

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    I think I've figured out a solution to this problem. Everyone thinks that they are the "main" character in a movie, as harsh as it may seem, they only care about themselves. Everyone is waiting for people to reach out to them. I suggest reaching out to someone to hang out, if they like you, then they should be down to hang out more often and should reach out to you. But, if they don't reach out, it's totally fine because it really doesn't and shouldn't matter to you. You enter this world alone and leave it alone, focus on what you love. I don't know if this is true, unfortunately, and I cannot guarantee if it is. Just my opinion. I just really felt like I should write this, anyways, thank you for your time. Best of luck.
     
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  14. Hello Friend

    Hello Friend Fapstronaut

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    I agree:emoji_thumbsup:
     
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  15. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    I suppose there's the advice of keep trying new things and looking for new friends in new opportunities. If people are not contacting you then don't wait for them.

    One thing I know I'm guilty of is blowing people off even though I am also looking to meet people.

    Keep on living and growing. People are out there.
     
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