I'm at day 20 again, and i would like my dose so much...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by arkad1, Jun 10, 2019.

  1. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Did nofap for almost a year, didn't get so much out of it.

    Now i'm triyng againg, i'm at day 20, always nervous, always hateful, always in bad mood, always negative.

    I would like a dose so much, just to feel good for some time, to stop the pain, the bad thoughts, the nervousness, to stop feeling everything...

    I don't know it will ever stop, aftr a year didn't get anything out of it, women still watch me like they're scared, or i'm horrible, or i'm going to o something at them, i can't stand it anymore.

    I'm sick and tired, and sick and tyred of being sick and tyred, does this fucking nofap thing work or not?
     
    llortaton likes this.
  2. SovjetOnion

    SovjetOnion Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear this. What's the core problem of you feeling so depressed? Nofap helps, but it won't solve all of our problems although we would like to. It's important that you look at the cause of what makes you feel that way. Then, you can start working on it, with Nofap being a true strength. Don't give in. Resisting every urge will increase your power. But please respond, as I want to know what is such a big bother in your life.
     
    The Bink and Curry like this.
  3. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    I think it's my total distance with women. It has ever been like thet (beside up to 12\13, i was successful with girls then). It's like they avoid me in all ways, it's like i repulse them, they don't want anything to do with me, i scare them, and i don't know why.

    And i'm tired, sick and tired of that.
     
    llortaton likes this.
  4. Look, I'm not going to bullshit you. If you don't feel like NoFap is giving you any benefit or that it's hurting you, then try again another time, or don't do it if you don't want to. The whole point of it is to get something out of it. For a lot of us, it works really well. But, it's not necessarily the solution to all of life's problems either.

    Do what you think is best for you. It sounds to me like you're depressed. Trust me, I've been there. If girls don't seem like they want anything to do with you, then it might be the way you approach them. Or maybe it has nothing to do with you at all, maybe some of them just weren't interested. And that's okay. Just like you aren't into every girl, same goes for them. Not every girl is going to be into you. It's all about mindset.

    I hope things get better for you, man. Good luck!
     
  5. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Sure i'm depressed, i've been depressed all my life, that's the main motivaion girls are repulsed by me (i think), or maybe i'm just ugly, who know.
     
    llortaton likes this.
  6. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry, all those negative emotions you're feeling are a normal part of the process. Long story short, this addiction rewires your brain so that good only feels normal, normal feels bad, and bad feels terrible. It just takes time to do the basic rewiring so that normal feels normal again; for me and most people I've heard from that's by a little after the 30 day mark.
    That's just the chemical side however, it doesn't automatically fix more objective sources of stress. As I see it, nofap forces you to confront those stressers, and also builds up more mental strength to beat them. Whereas, when you're doing PMO all the time, it's just a way to numb and run away from dealing that pain.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  7. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    That's the brain part of addiction that want you to give up and continue your misery in the long run. My suggestion is to set small goals like reach 1 month, then another one and so on. It won't be easy but you gotta fight. Once you quit an addiction, your brain will make you depressed and feel like shit. So buckle up and ready to fight this addiction. Thinking about how you'll feel if you complete the rest of the year pmo free.
    In my opinion, watching another man bust through a girl is the most beta thing you could do. Get into reality instead wishful thinking.That's my realization after wasting 7 years of my life on pmo.
     
  8. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    I've already done almost a year, and it was worst and worst, never got better.
     
  9. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Yep, the problem is that i've already done almost a year on nofap, and didn't get any benefit...
     
  10. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

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    Yep, I just made a post relating to that yesterday. You want to commit a very specific unchangeable goal. I chose to start with 90 days clean, so I calculated the exact date I must last until and say that to myself to help silence any urges.
    You don't want to just start counting up the days, because that leaves you open to relapse from thinking "I got to a big number" or "I'll just relapse and start fresh". And then you keep relapsing over and over again without reaching any perceivable goal. Gotta calculate the exact date.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  11. ramiman

    ramiman Fapstronaut

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    NoFap is the first step, you need to do an effort and make new habits, you have to forget about your old habits, start with fixing the small problem, and step by step you will see the change, NoFap is just the first step, it's all about habits and NoFap will help you to adopt new and healthy habits,
     
  12. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Done 170 days monk mode, and then till month 9 having sex 2 times a month, and from there to month 11 masturbating10 times, 3 with porn.

    Not seeing any result just make me loose the motivaton to go on.
     
  13. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man, i've bought and read about 2 libraries of self help books in the last 6 years, before they were spread by youtubers.
     
  14. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    I'm just taking some xanax and fuck it...
     
  15. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry I missed the first part about going nearly a year already. I'd say again doing NoFap is a way to build mental strength and force yourself to confront other issues. I don't expect it to solve my issues for me, and in you case it sounds like there's much deeper stuff where a real counselor should probably be involved. If you have a wife or something, I don't see any reason to go more than 90 days hard mode. Healthy sex is a great thing.
     
  16. SovjetOnion

    SovjetOnion Fapstronaut

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    I understand. The important thing is how you will react on this frustration. It's one of the most frustrating things. If you put that frustration by complaining with being sad, it will get worse and you will relapse. That sounds very direct I know. If you use the frustration as motivation to work on your goals (you can literally achieve anything to be honest). THEN you have really made it. Work on yourself. Get some succes, and I guarantee: woman will notice that and be all over you. But at that point, you'll see the succes yourself and in turn, ignore the women who first neglected you.

    No idea if you read (or ever listened audio books). I HIGHLY recommend you to read 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. It has helped me tremendously. I think it can help you too.
     
  17. SovjetOnion

    SovjetOnion Fapstronaut

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    So you've had sex? Well, I can't say that myself and I'm 20. Women aren't ignoring you if you've had relationships!
     
  18. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I've done two years of NoFap with no results. It's all about mindset. I can tell you from experience that when you have that feeling of "you really need a dose right now", the next relapse is just around the corner.

    Women are "scared" of you or ignoring you because you emit an aura of neediness. You desperately want them to notice you and that makes their pussies dry af.

    At this point in your life you should do two things: Forget about fucking women at the moment. Maybe you'll have one next week, who knows, but just focus on other things in life. Consciously stop waiting for it. When you see a hot chick on the street and you feel your mind getting needy and you want to look at her, just focus on something else.

    Then you need to change your outlook on porn. It can't be that sweet thing that you deny yourself. You need to see it for what it is: a bunch of bullshit that keeps you stuck in life.
    It is really important that you fill your life with something exciting and challenging to keep your mind busy and to replace your porn addiction. Otherwise you'll just think about porn every time you're bored, which makes it hard to quit.
     
    eye.wander likes this.
  19. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Only prostitutes, i've been only with prostitutes. My contact with woman havealways been zero.
     
  20. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    I agree with all you said, but about the sentence in bold, surely i naturally emit an aura of neediness, but 170 days of monkmode didn't change that, that surely didn't give me hope.
     

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