Im about to commit sucide fuck this life :(

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by YouCanDoItByCourage, Jul 14, 2018.

  1. YouCanDoItByCourage

    YouCanDoItByCourage Fapstronaut

    I'm tired of fucking relasping, its like im fucking cursed. Why is this shit so easy for other people. I lost my faith in god .Could you imagine getting bad grades not having any fucking friends and being a dumb motherfucker like i am :) I wish i could be healed like other people i wanna go to the train tracks near my house and get hit by a fucking train :(
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2018
    P-Free likes this.
  2. YouCanDoItByCourage

    YouCanDoItByCourage Fapstronaut

    im about to kill myself tommorow
  3. Anon117

    Anon117 Fapstronaut

    Take a deep breath brother. I just relapsed too and feel like shit. I don't think it's easy. I've been trying to quit for years. I've had some deep lows. But just take a deep breath for me. Reset yourself.

    I know it feels like the end of the world but it's not. Try not to let your feelings control you.

    If you feel like you just can't control your feelings on your own: It's okay.

    Just call the suicide hotline so you can talk to someone. Let someone else help you calm down.
    Call 1-800-273-8255
  4. Wario32

    Wario32 Fapstronaut

    Your having a bad day but remember suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Call the number above my post

    I replaced more times then I can count but it's all about learning what happened and making that next small step.

    Don't be so hard on your self man.

    Your here, your on this site trying to improve yourself. You realized that porn is a problem in your life and your trying to fix it. Many people will never come to that realization and blame others for there problems.

    Your on the right track man, I believe in you
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2018
  5. Eleanor

    Eleanor Fapstronaut Moderator Assistant

    Hey buddy.

    I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. Rebooting has its ups and downs, just like life. We see many people experiencing both the ups and downs during the reboot, and though it may be hard to see now, these feelings you are having won’t last forever. It will get better with time, if you are patient and wait.

    In the meantime, please seek professional help. I know the idea of calling a helpline might terrify you, but in times of crisis, we often need someone their to put our lives in perspective. So please contact someone who can help and don’t hang up on them. The International Association for Suicide Prevention[/url] maintains a list of suicide prevention hotlines for countries all over the world. Also, if you don’t feel up to actually talking to someone on the phone, unsuicide[/url] maintains a list of online Instant Messaging and chat suicide prevention resources.

    You are not alone in this. There are ways to treat depression. Please contact people that can help you. Being depressed often makes it feel like you don’t have any more options. But that is a lie. That is just the depression talking. These feeling you have won’t last forever. We are in this with you, and we will all be cheering for you to get through this!
  6. fakeittomakeit

    fakeittomakeit Fapstronaut

    Hang in there man!

    As someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts, I can relate that it's particularly bad after a relapse! Remember that your problems don't define you. Each time that we fall down, we're still victorious as long as we get back up:D
  7. ozkar81

    ozkar81 Fapstronaut

    You don't need to pray to be healed, you don't need to be like everybody, you are not dumb. You need to love yourself, be proud, learn what makes you special, your strengths, your dreams, and fight for them. Stop for one second, look at your fears, have a deep breath and let it go, you don't own the frustration, thats not you. It doesn't matter how many time you felt, but how many times you stand up for yourself. I'm with you buddy.
  8. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

    Think about your mother
    How will she survive if you self harm your yourself
    Allow life to flow in any direction be it bad or good
    But just don't stop it
    There is a saying "till you are alive can improve things"
  9. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

    And you are just a kid 14 years old
    I wonder why you are thinking like this
    Self control at this age is difficult
    So don't blame yourself
    YouCanDoItByCourage likes this.
  10. Lanius

    Lanius Fapstronaut

    I am not trying to be mean but looking into your activity and posts, it seems to me that you lack personal attention in your real life.
    If this isn't a real suicide threat I want to say it is okay, you don't need to write panicked suicide notes to get us to pay attention to you. We are all here to help each other through a serious issue.
    If this is a legitimate cry for help and you are considering taking your own life, do not. As others said it is not a proper solution to your problems. You can overcome the challenges you are faced with, even if they are caused by disorders like adhd and autism.
  11. I have been there with those thoughts too, but there are 2 things I learned about suicide which changed my mind;

    1. If you commit suicide the pain does not end - there is no "ahhh that's it, relief" feeling. You did not beat anything, it beat you.

    2. Suicide does not end the pain, it merely transfers the pain from you to another... So think about the people you care about most, the people who care about you most... Do you REALLY want to burden them with the same problem that is eating away at you right now? Or do you want to protect them by fighting it yourself?

    As advised above, call a hotline - talk to somebody - don't let it beat you.
  12. newman198727

    newman198727 Fapstronaut

    Well said Lanius. I do think the admins should take a different stance with suicide threats,I have seen quite a high number in the forums recently. Suicidal thoughts of any kind can often be a symptom of an underlying condition and, given the heightened stress levels in the first weeks of giving up porn, these conditions can often rise to the surface. Often it may be necessary to work with counselor to address these issues, most critically if they pose a immediate threat to your wellbeing i.e suicidal thoughts.

    I have been there myself (I have OCD and tourettes to compliment my porn addiction) and it was only through diligent work with a fantastic counselor that I was able to address these conditions which enabled me to focus fully on beating porn. I know there is still a certain stigma attached to seeing a mental health professional, and I think more needs to be done on the site to link it with part of the recovery process for porn addiction, particularly with those of us with other issues.

    I know it is often impossible to tell if suicide threats are genuine and I recognize that anyone in that frame of mind should be treated with unquestioning compassion and support, but I think the admins should do more to make the point that giving up porn, whilst a fantastic thing to work on, will NOT solve all other mental health problems which you may have and that sometimes, speaking to a professional should be recommended. I have always found this forum to be immensely supportive and always come away feeling positive, but giving up porn should be just one facet of working through your journey to better mental health.

    To the OP, please don't think I am trying to trivialize or take anything away from how you must be feeling. I'v been to there, buddy, just hang in there and be sure a better life awaits you. The feelings won't last forever and you've got the strength to beat this.
    JoePineapples and Electraflier like this.
  13. emzzz

    emzzz Fapstronaut

    Hey mate, stop yourself there for a moment. Think about it, is it really worth ending your life for this? I mean, your life is worth more than anything you can think of. There is no exchange equal to your personal life. And you have only one of it.
    You can give your life, but in another sense, like giving your time to people you love or something you believe in and want to realize. I am sure you have projects and goals you want to reach. This way you are surrendering to your problems. Suicide is not a solution. It is like saying "Ok I am not able to play, I quit the game".
    You are escaping the fight.
    And I mean, if you are here, you are not a coward, you are a warrior like everyone around here. And as you can see there is a lot of people here that want to help you.
    I assure you, life is very difficult. There is no instruction booklet. And we suffering from PMO addiction are in a worse condition. But there is a solution, it is possible to quit.
    I reached 88 days once, and now lately I can't go any further than 4 days.
    Everyone is different, has its own learning times.
    I risked to lose my girl because of my addiction, and I have already fucked up two important exams because of that.
    What I am trying to point out is that is not easy, and everyone has its own difficulties, and I can totally understand you are in a bad moment.
    But everytime I say myself " okay, I can make better than this. Tomorrow I will organize better and do something good." .
    You are young, you have still a lot of time in front of you.
    Everyday could be a step towards your goal.
    But it is a road you have to run till its end to discover where it will take you.
    Please, I am asking you, don't suicide.
    I am here to help you with what I can, as everybody around here.
  14. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    You are so far ahead of the game by knowing this is a problem at the age of 14.

    Nobody can help you if you are dead.

    People who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge have been interviewed. They all said the regretted it horribly the instant after they jumped. They realized that ALL their problems were FIXABLE - EXCEPT the fact they they had just jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge!

    Nobody denies your pain. Many of us have been there. Hang in there. It diminishes with time.

    Nobody said this was easy. They just said that it's worth it.
  15. Brokenman123

    Brokenman123 Fapstronaut

    Hope this helps, please read it:
    YouCanDoItByCourage likes this.
  16. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    Don’t do it dude! In here for you!! It’s hard but it can and will get better.

    Please seek help! With a therapist it saved my life.

    Be honest with your therapist. Until I was honest with my I didn’t get better.

    And as for nofap. I spent a long time working on it and until I did some very specific work, I wasn’t successful. There hope! I spent 10 years trying to get sober unsuccessful until I did very successful things. And now I have over 100 days sober. It wasn’t easy but it was simple.

    Please reach out to me and I can help you further. It will be ok.

    I was also suicidal for the last many years and finally I haven’t had a suicidal thought in about 3 weeks, which is a miracle so I can tell you for a fact it can get better if we do some hard work. Even with your autism and adhd there’s still hope.
  17. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    I just realized your post was from yesterday.... I really hope your ok dude.

    I pray for you and your mom. It can get better and we’re all here for you!
  18. hydroxide

    hydroxide Fapstronaut

    There's so much more left for you in this world than you can see. You'll get out of this somehow, even if you can't see it yet. Just don't end it now, it'll be worth it in the end.
  19. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

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  20. Max Fisher

    Max Fisher Fapstronaut

    I cried when I read this. There are complete strangers who love you. You can make it through this. You are valuable and you have value no matter what you can or can't do.

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